The Burden Of Love (Jonathan Toews)

Sticks .65

Jonathan

It's the last day of January and it was a big one. Kenny has his first every hockey game today up in Wisconsin. I couldn't be more excited to watch him play. He's come so far and worked his little ass off to get on a competitive team. He's moved up quickly but I think this is good for him.

"Do you like these sticks" I ask Emmy as we sit at the game. I had the new vapor sticks pulled up on my phone as we wait for the kids to come out.

"Baby he has twenty sticks already. Why does he need another one" she asks me.

"He's getting bigger. He's going to outgrow those sticks in no time. I'm just trying to be prepared" I defend.

"You might as well get sticks for the whole team at this rate" she teases.

"I'm doing too much again, aren't I" I ask as she takes the phone from me.

"A little bit. But I'm happy that you're so into his hockey career and make the time to be here. It's means the world to him. But he doesn't need the best sticks or the most sticks to be considered good. All he wants is that you will be here for him, actually here not worried about the times you can't be here" she insists.

"You're right" I sigh. "I know there's so many kids in this world who don't get to become the hockey player they dreamed of because they don't have the resources or support. I don't want that to be Ken."

"Ken is more than fine. He's got a whole professional hockey team cheering him on. It's kids like Carl who all of the sudden find himself in foster care and his foster parents don't know if they can keep him in hockey who need help. And you can't be there for all the kids, trust me, I know. I've tried. But where people need help the most is where you will make the biggest difference" she tells me.

"So what? I start up another foundation to help kids get into hockey" I wonder.

"I'm not saying that at all. But either you can give Ken 20 sticks even though he plays with one, or you can help 20 other kids get sticks" she says.

I nod my head as I take my phone back and tuck it away. "Okay. So what do I do next? How do I get sticks into the hands of kids who dream of being out there but don't have the resources or support to do so" I question.

"I'm not god Jon, I wish I had the answers. But the Blackhawks have a lot of ties in the community and if you want to build a future of kids coming from the city and doing what you do you have to start somewhere. Get them into the rink now so years in the future they have opportunities" she explains.

"Can't I have you run this? You obviously are the best when it comes to belong people" I beg.

"Babe I will love to help but I don't know about hockey like that. This is your thing and I'll support you with whatever you decide to do. I'll always be by your side to tak and figure out the best thing to do. But this would work so much better coming from someone who cannot live without hockey. Who lives and breathes it and can change the future of hockey. That's you babe" she insists.

"Fine" I sigh. "But I want you a part of it. Many of the best things in my life are by your hand so I would really appreciate your help."

"I'm right here" she's smiles as she takes my hand. Oh how I adore this woman.

The game gets started and I try my best to bite my tongue. These are six and seven year olds on a large sheet of ice chasing around the puck. Honestly the parents cheer when a kid shoots and he doesn't fall. But Ken still did pretty good. He had two goals in the first period and only fell like four times. That's a stat line I can work with though it's obvious skating needs a little work. But he was doing a lot of what we practiced. Wait for plays in the crease and use speed to create space. He was quite the little center and I couldn't be more proud.

By the third period Emilia was exhausted and rests her head on my shoulder. I smile down at her as she yawns. Her strawberry blonde hair falling over her face as I move it out the way.

"Are you tired" I wonder.

"Oh no. Not at all" she jokes as I roll my eyes.

"You want me to drive home after the game" I wonder.

"No you have practice in the morning" she tries.

"And you have to be at school at six am. So I am more than happy to drive home" I assure her.

"Look at us, already happily married" she teases.

"Sure does feel like it. Thought I think this is all too easy" I say.

"You think this is easy" she asks.

"I'm talking about the way you and work things out. I mean I know a lot of guys scared to go to their partners not knowing what she'll say or keeping things from her because it'll cause problems. But there isn't a thing in this world that I wouldn't trust you with. No matter what I know that you and I will find a solution, together, and it's a great feeling. I never fear having to tell you something and that's why we get through all the craziness that finds us. I never met someone who made what I did worth it. But compared to what other have yeah this is easy" I insist.

"I guess you're right. The easiest thing I've ever done was love you. I never had to care, I just did. I never forced myself to love, that was always there. And staying in love is just as easy. Every time I look at you I'm reminded the best parts of me. I don't think that will ever change" she admits.

I softly kiss the top of her head as I pull her into me. She looks up at me and it was almost like I could see what she was just talking about.

"Maybe when we get home I can ask about getting more kids in the city into hockey. Ken can be my cop coach" I say.

"I think that's a wonderful idea" she agrees.