The Burden Of Love (Jonathan Toews)

Greatness .58

Emilia

Once we get Caleb set up with a foster family and tell the police everything we knew about his parents and what happened he got to go to a good home. Unfortunately we aren't set up to be a foster family quite yet but one day, maybe soon, that will change.

As December continues on we get closer to winter break. We had a few weeks off from school which might be a good thing for someone like me. This is usually the time of the year where things get tired or boring and kids loose focus. It's in their nature, spending hours on end in class feeding your brain, that's not how children work. They need adventure, fun, something that's educational but also meaningful.

Christmas time gives me a lot of creative room to keep the kids interested. We use math to find out how much wrapping paper we need for boxes. Science to see at what temperature hot chocolate needs to be to melt a candy cane. Writing to create our own Christmas miracles. History to learn the real meaning of Christmas, where it came from and how we got here.

Honestly this was my favorite time of the year. As someone who gives more than she gets this is the only time I can spoil people and not everyone throw a fit. I truly like to because it's something that brings me joy and I like helping others. There's no ulterior motive or favor to pay back. It's simply, Christmas.

So we have our Christmas party today before we were off for two weeks. We haven't been able to get the smart boards and stuff set up yet so we bring in the old TV and watch Rudolph. I made them all little gift bags for the holiday and made sure we kept it quiet this time around. Don't need someone trying to ruin it again. I even got to have Ken for the day to celebrate with us. I miss having my little helper in class but he's pretty much taken over his own class.

"Hey Miss Emmy, can I talk to you" Lemond asks as we watch a movie and I nod. He's been quiet recently, not his usual annoying himself. But all the things people find annoying is what I adore about him.

"Of course. Do you want to step out" I ask.

He just nods his head as I let out a sigh. This can't be good.

We walk out and he falls against the wall outside the classroom. He sits down and I sit next to him.

"Whenever you're ready, I am listening" I assure him.

He takes a few moments before his head falls on his knees. I rub his back trying to make him feel a little better, though I'm not sure I'm much of a match for what this kid goes through once he leaves this school.

"I want to quit football" he says quietly and I look at him weird.

Lemond was one of those kid that gets picked first for any game in PE. Flag football, baseball, kick ball, dodge ball. Any game where you need to be fast, smart or athletic he was the first one out there. The kids loved playing with him and from what I saw he was a great football player. A gifted quarterback who had a bright future ahead of him. Some kids you just know are special, he was defiantly one of them. And he loves the sport so I'm not sure where this is coming from.

"LJ you love football" I remind him.

"No I don't" he tries.

"Since when? Because last time I checked you carried that old football around in your back pack in case the bus is late and you can play catch with your friends and you wear your gloves everywhere so it feels like your own skin when you play. So why the sudden change of heart" I wonder.

"My dad said I'll never be anything other than a disappointment. I'll never graduate high school or be any good to play in college. He said I'm not shit" he claims.

"Okay first of all watch your mouth young man. You're still in my house and you will use your words for good and good only.

Second of all your grades aren't even all that bad. Maybe you don't have straight A's but you're far from failing. No student has improved more than you this semester" I insist.

"Doesn't matter. It's how this family works. My oldest brother dropped out, my older brother dropped out and my dad already made up his mind about me" he claims.

"Well he's wrong. If he saw what your last writing was like he would see not only how passionate you are about making something out of your life but how special you are. You leave that field and you're still one of the most impressionable kids out there. And I wish you would use your powers to challenge others to do good but you make them smile and that's just as important. One day no one will be able to deny your greatness, but you have to be great first" I insist.

"You think I'll be great" he asks as he looks up at me.

"Stay here" I instruct before getting up off the ground. I sneak back into the classroom and grab his Christmas gift from under the tree.

I place the bag in his lap and he looks at me questionably. But I assure him it was okay and to open it. Once the stuffing was tossed to the side he reaches in and takes out a NFL football. I noticed the one he carried around was getting deflated and the laces were coming undone. So now he can continue to work his craft until he beats the laces off this one too.

"You got me a new football for Christmas" he asks as he tosses it into the air and catches it.

"I did, because I believe in you. And that doesn't mean as much as you think because it doesn't matter what I believe. It doesn't matter what your dad says either. The only person who has a say in what becomes of you, is you. You're not your brothers, you're wildly passionate and very talented. Two very important things in this life. But you can't let people tell you who you are" I insist.

"I don't hate football" he admits. "It's the one thing in my life I feel like I'll ever be good at. I just don't want to fail."

"Sure if you quit you will never fail. You're dad won't be right about you. But you'll never be great either" I say.

He turns to me with a smile on his face. I know this kid can be trouble but he can be the next Russell Wilson too. "Thank you Miss Emmy. And I hope you have a merry Christmas" he insists.

"You too kiddo. You too" I nod.