The Burden Of Love (Jonathan Toews)

Double. 28

Jonathan

I sit in the team area of the hotel out in Boston with dozens of pairs of eyes on me. We landed not too long ago and I thought once we did land we would all go to sleep. But instead there was a meeting called and it seems like I'm the only one who doesn't know what it is about. I sit in the front of the room as the entire team surrounds me. All eyes on me as I try and think of a way out of this.

"Is this a intervention? Because I don't drink during playoffs" I try. I see Patrick Kane scolding me as I scoff. "Alright I might have had one drink but it was a off day and I found a bottle in my fridge-" I trail off.

"This isn't about drinking Jon" Duncan tells me.

"Oh" I sigh.

"It's about your secret life you have had for god knows how long and didn't tell any of us" Crawford claims.

"Oh" I mumble.

"How could you not say anything? Not a word" Patrick asks. I can tell he was upset because we were always stuck together. We usually tell each other everything. I can see how irritated this made him.

"The decision to keep us a secret was nothing to do with you guys really. It was more being able to build up a relationship in peace with the least amount of people involved. I wasn't doing it because I thought you guys wouldn't like my girlfriend or that I'm ashamed of her. I've been wanting to brag to you guys forever now. But it made more sense to handle our own before I threw them to the wolves" I defend.

"How long have you guys been together" Seabrook asks.

"Since January. So around four months" I explain.

"Four months" Patrick nearly yells.

"Yeah. And we've kinda adopted two kids. Well... adopt isn't true because nothing is official but Kenneth was abandoned and left for dead when my girlfriend found him and Jasmine is one of my girlfriends students who's mom got into a rough situation and needed someone to watch over Jasmine until it was safe for her to come home" I ramble.

"Hold on hold on hold on. You've been living a double life for four months" Duncan accuses.

"No. Just one life but many parts of it I have found it a lot easier figuring it out on my own" I insist.

"I need you to start form the beginning. Who's the girl and how did you meet" Patrick asks.

I let out a sigh because I knew this was coming. I've been avoiding them since Johnny and Ray met the kids but this conversation was inevitable. I just don't think it will do justice to what we have been through or what we're going through.

"After I found out the lock out was over I came back here to get ready for the season. I got into the apartment and settled in faster than I thought it would take so I decided to go to the field museum. I hadn't been in a while and history is my favorite. Knew I wouldn't run into any of you guys there so it was a perfect little get away. As I was walking around I feel a tug on my pants and see this little kid staring up me with the biggest brown eyes you've ever seen. He was the cutest thing ever. Big brown hair and dark dark skin. His smile shined making him really stand out in the huge museum. He explained that he lost his guardian and was wondering if I would wait for her to come find him. He was so adamant this woman was going to come looking for him.

So we sat on a bench and talked. He's just five so it's not like I was going to let him walk around by himself. Those few minutes were some of my favorite because he knew so much about the exhibits. Told me his favorite one and what he wanted to see next.
After a few minutes passed his care taker came and found him. But I didn't expect this incredibly beautiful woman with strawberry blonde hair and pale skin to come running over. The kid was so happy to see her he ran over and jumped in her arms. I sat there in complete awe of a woman who looked like she belonged in a museum to be adored by millions herself.

She explained to me how Ken came to be with her and how she without hesitation saved that kids life. Took him in and loved him unconditionally. She was unlike anything ever known. The only person I actually believe is pure of heart. She's stronger than anyone should have to be. Her mind... it's wired in a way that she can help anyone in any situation. And what she does for these kids in the city, the ones who are forgotten about or tossed to the side, it's greater than any donation. She gives them a home. She helped them defeat the stereotypes and lifts them up. Teaches them what cannot be found in a text book.

She's changing lives and she's changed mine. Emilia lives with me and so does Jasmine and Ken. I am madly in love with her and I think she is the best thing to ever happen to me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys but I'm not going to apologize for what happened. You guys mean the world to me but so do they. One day when hockey is gone I hope they're still there. I don't want to lose them and I don't want this life to be too much for them. We're slowly figuring things out and making them work. They've been to a few games and we have some plans for the summer. You guys have to understand how important it is I keep us together" I beg.

"We get it" Crawford assures me.

"Coming from a guy with a family in this business I wish I did what you did" Sharp claims.

"Wait a second" Patrick says. "My girlfriend said she met someone named Emilia at the game the other day. That's not the same person right" he asks.

"Oh it is. So in a way I guess Amanda kind of knew before you" I tease.

"I really hate you right now you know that" he questions. "We tell each other everything. How could you lie to my face for four months" he asks.

"For love" I tell him earning a few fake gags from the guys. "As cheesy as it sounds it was all for love. For a better future. For assurance that Emilia can still teach and the kids can still be kids" I insist.

"Alright that's a pretty good reason" Patrick mumbles.

Eventually they let me free and I head back to my hotel room. But before I can get there Patrick stops me.

"I'm happy for you. I really am" he claims.

"Thanks man. I didn't enjoy keeping it from you. You have to know that. So many times I wanted to come talk to you. Maybe do double dates or hang out with the kids together. It just wasn't the right time. But the kids would love to meet you and since the girls are such good friends already we can do a double date" I promise.

"I would really like that" he smiles.