The Burden Of Love (Jonathan Toews)

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Emilia

A year ago today my whole life changed and I hadn't had a clue by the time I had gotten home. I went out of the apartment with the mindset of just trying to make Ken feel a sense of normalcy, take him to the museum and do regular kid things. I had no clue how to keep track of a kid or what to do if I lost him. Luckily my exact lack of motherly instinct led me back to him and to Jonathan too. Look how that turned out. A year later and I believe in soul mates and love. Crazy what can change with the right person and a certain amount of time.

School wasn't quite back in session so I had no work today. Jon had a game later but that gave us the morning and afternoon to celebrate. Only when I rolled over in bed Jon was gone. Usually it's the other way around so I didn't much like this. I'm used to him being there and I now I see why he hates it so much.

I sit up a little as I rub my eyes. It was a long night last night with the game going into over time then having another game tonight. At least I have a good reason to stay up but it still makes me tired the next morning. I can only imagine how exhausted Jon was and yet he was up and out of bed.

I was about to join him until the door slowly opens. Jon and Kenny come in through the door, Ken with a tray of food and Jon with a bouquet of flowers and a nice suit on. The smile on my face was growing with each passing second as they come over to me.

"What is this" I ask as Ken sets the tray in my lap.

"I wanted to make our one year anniversary special. And I know we wouldn't go on our first official date for a few more days but from the moment we met you had my heart so it's the same thing" Jon shrugs.

"How much is he paying you to help" I ask Ken.

"Ten dollars and some roller blades for the summer to do roller hockey" he claims.

"Wow, that's a pretty good deal" I admit.

"Well his job isn't quite done yet, but for now eat the food before it gets cold" Jon insists.

"Okay, but it's your anniversary too, eat with me" I insist.

"Yes ma'am" he smiles.

He sets the flowers in a vase next to my side of the bed before joining me. We spend the morning reminiscing on what the last year has done for us. Neither of us imagined this would be our lives when we met. And neither of us would change much of what has transpired in the last year either.

"What's your favorite memory of the past year" he asks me and I smile.

"It's so hard to choose. Obviously getting to see you win the Stanley cup with grandpa was so much fun. Going to Thailand was transcending and getting to know you and Ken and Jas was the most fulfilling. Almost every moment with you has been my favorite.

But if I had to pinpoint the best moment, the moment I knew I loved you is my favorite"I admit.

"Oh" he gasps. "Now I need to know. When did you know?"

"I mean I guess I always knew. When it came to you there wasn't much I wouldn't do. Having you around was addicting, touching you was like a drug. Part of me has always loved you.

But the moment I knew I was in love with you was when you offered your place up for us to stay. I never knew of someone reaching a hand out to help me, it's always been the other way around. And so for a while I thought what I was feeling for you in that moment was just me being grateful. I thought you pittied us and you were doing what you thought was right, that's all.

Then it hit me that you didn't ask us to move in as a temporary fix. You wanted us here so you could be a part of the family. You put your trust in me and my judgment to allow three people you've only known for a few months to live with you. And any doubt I had about you and I in that moment was gone. You took a chance on me, something no one has really done before. You reached out to me and for once I reached back.

That reach was done with love. Those strong feelings I had was thankfulness, it was a lot of things. But love is a lot of things. In that moment I knew that is moving in together wasn't a bad idea, me letting my walls down for you to come in and help wasn't a mistake. I loved you and I just didn't want to call it that" I admit.

He softly pulls me into a kiss before we break apart. His thumb sits under my chin so my eyes had to look up at him. "Thank you for loving me. I don't know what I would do without it" he claims.

"I think you'd survive" I tease.

"My life before I was loving you wasn't much of a life at all. I just didn't know it yet. I thought I was living but I was living for myself. There's no fulfillment in that. Now I live for love and it gives my life meaning. A reason to come home, a reason to wake up with a smile. You give my life meaning and I'm so happy that a year later I still feel like this love sick teenager" he admits.

"Here's to many more years feeling like a love sick teenagers" I say.

"Here's to us" he smiles.

After breakfast we finally get out of bed. Ken comes into the room with a box and I look at him funny. He sets it in my lap before waiting for me to open it.

"Is this the other part of the deal" I ask.

"It is" he cheers excited to show me what was in there.

So I open it up not wanting to make him wait one more second. I find a beautiful shadow box filled with things form the past year and I let out a small gasp. There was flowers from the restaurant we went to for our first date. Tickets from the first game and even a hockey puck from the last game of the season. It was a decent sized box and it was full of fun things like sand from Thailand to a few things form grandpa. Stuff that by itself isn't much but put together is absolutely stunning.

"Jonny this is beautiful" I whisper.

"Ken helped. We found some stuff I know you would remember and smile. Now you can put it up in your classroom and admire what a great first year it's been" he explains.

"It's perfect" I smile. "And I got you something too."

I walk over to the closet and pull out a box of my own. I hand it to Jon who lets kin help him get the wrapping paper off.

Inside was a map of the stars the night of our first date. We sat in his car and looked through the sun roof at an amazing sky. I remember the stars. Just like that picture and I hope he does too.

"This is stunning" he whispers as he looks over the glass. The stars looked like they twinkles in there.

"I know you liked the last glass decoration I got you so I figured you would like this too" I shrug.

"It's perfect. And I know just where to put it" he claims.

I pull him into another kiss as he gets his fingers tangled in my shirt. "I love you Emilia" he whispers on my lips.

"I love you too Jonny" I smile.