The Burden Of Love (Jonathan Toews)

Within .35

Jonathan

I've been a lot of places in my life. But it's been a lot of places in America and Canada and wherever I was for hockey. I've never really got to do as much traveling as I wanted. One of the perks of my job is having the freedom to go wherever I want and spend my money how I wish. I guess up until recently I didn't have the right people to take that leap of faith. To want to see the world and learn about how other people live. But now I get to be in what has to be the coolest place I have ever been with the people I love most.

Before we leave Thailand we go to the Wat Tham Chiang Dao cave for a little adventure. Some hiking, exploring the cave, maybe a little cliff climbing. The world is our oyster at this point.

So we pack up the backpacks and tie up our good walking shoes. After everything was ready we head to the hills. We've been to the Wat Chedi Luang and the Doi Suthep temples which was Emmy's favorite part. She hasn't really devoted herself to a religion but a lot of what she believes and the way she lives lines up with Buddhism. And not so much reincarnation and stuff like that but she defiantly believes in spirituality and meditation. I do too to a certain extent but not to the point of following the religion like Em does. She teaches a little bit of it in class to show how one religion isn't more important than another even though many religions teach it that way. Emilia believes a lot of what Buddhism teaches because no matter what you believe that ideology can give answers that are usually hard to find. And it allows her to help as many people as she can. She always says "in the end only three things matter; how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things that was never meant to be yours." That's Buddha, I'm pretty sure. She doesn't have a Tripitaka lying around but she has a lot of ideologies that allow her to be who she is and I admire that about her.

The kids were more into the night safari and the aquarium. They adored the pandas and even got to touch a shark. Me? I was in it for the adventure. To learn what I could never learn back home. It's hard to be here and not be surrounded by the culture. Eat the food they eat and listen to the music they listen too. I very much have enjoyed these experiences and I know I'll never forget this trip.

"Someone carry me" Ken says as I start to laugh.

"Buddy we just started" I remind him.

"I know but I'm thinking about how far we have to go and it makes me tired" he whines.

"Bubba you can't go into this thinking it's going to make you tried" Jasmine tries.

"That's not true" Kenny argues.

"No she's right" Emmy chimes in. "A lot of what the people who call this place home has to do with living in this moment. Never wanting time to pass is the one thing in life we will never get back. They say "what lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." So we can't focus on where this adventure will end or what adventures we've been on. The best thing we can do is appreciate what we have, what's within. Then no cave is too long and no vacation is too short" she explains.

"But I'm gonna be tired" Kenny whines and I smile.

"Tired means your soul is well fed. You'll be fine" I assure him.

"Okay" me mumbles.

Eventually the views start to get good and the complaining comes to a stop. I take pictures allowing them all to take it in. Emilia really believes in being in the moment and doesn't like to pull out her phone all that often. I don't mind being the dad and taking as many pictures as possible.

We find a nice cool place to stop and drink. We find some snacks to open up and I make sure there's no trash left behind.

I see Emilia by the walls as she touches the side of them. She was so instant on not touching anything up until this moment. But something caught her eye just as she always catches mine.

"What is it" I wonder.

"So much has happened within these walls. The saying "nothing compares to what lies within" has a deep meaning. Within these very walls civilizations lived, and they died. People's history is here and it feels weird to just be a tourist" she claims.

"I think it puts things in retrospect. You know, what lies before us doesn't compare to what lies within. So these are here to remind us what lies before us was once what lies within. And what lies ahead of us is what will be within. But here and now is the only thing we can control. If we focus our energy on that then we won't have cave walls that tell our story. One day it'll be our ancestors instead" I say.

"See, I always knew I was going to love you" she accuses as I smile.

"Really" I ask.

"Yeah. You see this world not for what it was or what you want it to be, you looked within and you accepted it for what it is. Not a lot of people can do that. So many people look at life as a long road already tired of it like Ken earlier. But I found someone else who can't wait to see what lines within the path we walk. Focused on what we have within instead of worried about what we have to live without" she sighs.

"Well I'm thankful for your love. And I'm thankful that when we planned this vacation you didn't just want to go to a beach or Hawaii or something. Coming here has been a spiritual experience. I can't wait to go back home and share with all the guys what I've learned" I admit.

"They'll listen" she giggles.

"Not when I put it like that no. But change some words around and find a cheesy hockey metaphor and they'll eat it up" I shrug.

"Well I'm happy you're having fun" she insists.

"The best time of my life" I assure her.