The Burden Of Love (Jonathan Toews)

Disguise .51

Jonathan

I think I always wanted a family when I got older. Of course I imagined living in a big house that could hold a big family and our dreams with my wife of ten years and all our little mini me's running around once I was mature and wise enough to handle a family. I would have been playing for a decade and able to take a step back and appreciate this life I had.

Never in a million years would I have thought I would have a adopted and foster kid living with me and my girlfriend of months in my bachelor pad in the middle of the city before I even reached 26. It's crazy to think about how much has changed in these ten months. It was never in my plans but the best things in life can't be mapped out. They happen to you just as they happen for you. I'm happy that I can find things like coming home to a table full of food or helping Ken with homework so fulfilling.

In my journey to be the best dad that I can I promised Jasmine that I would attend her first basketball game tonight. We had practice this morning and they had school so we were free tonight. Basketball wasn't my backup sport. Not really sure I had one but I was more of a football guy anyway. But I'll support Jasmine through anything and it would be nice to spend some time with my favorite girl and our little man as we cheer her on.

"How's this" I ask as I pull on some sunglasses. I turn to Emilia as she takes them off my face.

"Babe if you're trying to not stand out in the school wearing sunglasses inside is not how you're going to accomplish that" she giggles.

"How am I going to be able to enjoy the game without a disguise" I wonder.

"A baseball cap and the jacket should be fine. Just don't shave and wear something that's normal and you'll be fine" she assures me.

"I just... I don't want to pull any attention to me. This is something she wants to do and something she enjoys. My presence shouldn't be what's important here tonight, it's that she has fun and feels a part of something bigger" I sigh.

"She is a part of something bigger. Our role in the different thing in life is what gives us lives meaning. But being a part of this family, that role is just as important. She knows what having you there tonight could do but she wants you there anyways. More than anything she wants the only man she's ever called dad out there cheering her on. To her it's worth the hassle" she explains.

"I know. You're right, but I still want to keep a low cover" I insist.

We get to the school and find our seats behind the bench. We watch Jasmine warm up and I had the biggest smile on my face. She keeps waving over to us and we give her the thumbs up. Ken even made her a little poster to make sure she knows he is proud of her.

"Call the foul" I yell as Jasmines teammates pick her up off the court. She went down pretty hard and it was blatant that they went after her. The ref must have swallowed the whistle. Typical.

"For a man wanting to lay low you sure are making a lot of noise" Emilia accuses as she pulls me back into my seat.

"I can't let them get away with this" I argue.

"Jon these are volunteer refs with no replay and no promises to stay for the whole game. You can't be hard on them" she tries.

"I tend to not get along with the people in black and white stripes" I defend.

"That one kid is like 18 years old give him a break" she laughs.

"Fine, I'll drop it. But if she gets hit like that again I'm not promising anything" I mumble.

It comes half time and I take Ken for some popcorn and a snickers bar. We stand in line at the concessions as Ken looks around. "Middle school looks scary. I don't think I'm ever going to go. I want to stay in kindergarten forever" he proclaims. If only he knew how right he was to feel this way.

"Growing up is hard but you don't want to stay a kid forever. Trust me there is more to life than chicken tenders and fries and books with just a few words on the page. Jasmine was once in your shoes and one day sooner than any of us want you'll be in her shoes. The best thing is to brace for it and enjoy it while you can" I insist.

"Their popcorn is pretty good here" he admits and I chuckle.

"Yeah it is" I agree.

We get back to our seats and I hand Emilia a pretzel we share and a new bottle of water. Though we raised enough money for new bleachers and to get to floors in the gym fixed these things will take time. I'm happy that this district will soon find some answers to all the hard questions they've been asking but it's still a work in progress.

I get to the end of the game without anyone bothering me. It's a middle school girls basketball game so not many people were there in the first place. But the girls pull out a win and the smile on Jasmines face was as big as possible. I know she wasn't all into sports but being a part of a team is fun and she had the second most points on the team. She was a part of the victory and it was a good feeling no matter how small the moment might feel.

Once they shake hands and the coach tells them what they needed they were released. Our happy girl finds us talking to one of her teammates parents as Ken shoots some hoops. I pull her into my side as she hugs me back.

"I'm so proud of you squirt. You did really good out there" I tell her.

"Thanks dad. Your cheering really gave me a boost, and a little bit of second hand embarrassment" she admits making everyone chuckle.

"Alright, I deserved that" I nod.

"But I am so happy you made it. I was so nervous because I've never played in a competitive game before. But then I saw you and remembered what you do all the time and I knew I can do it" she smiles.

"I never doubted you for a second" I promise.