The Burden Of Love (Jonathan Toews)

Mom. 29

Emilia

Now that the cat is out of the bag to Jonnies friends and there is a lot of pressure for them to meet our little crew we decide to join them for a family skate the Johnnies Ice House. We haven't been here before and I was a little nervous taking them out there. I know they know what situation we're in but that doesn't mean they understand and it doesn't mean they approve. And we don't need approval from them. We're a family regardless of what anyone says. No one can tell me that those aren't our kids because they are. But I don't want these kids to look around and feel like they don't belong. And I don't want to look around and realize that maybe I wasn't cut out for this life either.

"Emmy" Jon says softly as I take my eyes off the ground. He had just finished tying everyone's skates before we go hit the ice.

"Yeah" I ask.

"I said your name like ten times. Are you okay" he wonders.

"Fine, just..." I trail off.

"You're nervous" he accuses.

"Terrified is more like it" I admit.

"My friends, they might look scary and they might not be the easiest to read but they're good people. They have wanted to meet you guys since they found out and I know that doesn't mean that they like you. But I couldn't care less what they think, alright? Many of those guys will come and go and I'm thankful for our time together. Haven't met a teammate that I never wanted to see again. But the bottom line is I will chose you over them any day because when I leave here it's you I want to see. It's you who still gives a shit about me. They can't take that from you. So no matter what happens out there tonight I'm going home with you, with our family and my love for you guys will only grow" he promises.

I silently nod my head as he rests his large hand on my leg. I smile a little before a sigh escapes from my lips. "Let's do this" I smile.

"Let's do it" he nods.

I grab Kenny's hand and Jonathan takes Jasmines. We skate out to the ice where most everyone was already taking laps. I smile when I see other families running around, having fun just being normal people. I know we don't look like everyone else here but we all want the same thing right? A fulfilling life with tons of friends and good memories. That's all.

Once we hit the ice I realize I could not handle the fireball that is Kenneth David. He had no idea what he was trying to do, but he was doing it. I struggle to keep him up but he at least figured out to keep the skates on the ice. I get around once before I notice someone approaching me.

"Howdy stranger" a familiar voice rings out and I smile. I see Amanda standing there and I let out a sigh of relief. She wasn't feeling well yesterday so I didn't know if she was going to make it. But I'm so glad she did.

"Oh Amanda! Am I glad to see you" I sigh as I get Kenny to stop moving around. Amanda kneels next to him as he looks her over trying to decide if she is safe or not.

"You must be Kenny" she says to him.

"I'm five" he randomly tells her and I smile. Kids, so open.

"You're a very cool five year old. I saw you skating around, mind if I give some pointers" she questions.

"Oh! Can I go mom" he asks and I pause.

That's the first time he called me mom. Didn't even call me that at home. And for a moment a smile comes on my face, one that I cannot hide. I know I said I wasn't sure about having kids but hearing him call me his mother, it gave me a feeling like no other.

"Of course sweetie. Be safe" I smile.

They take off and Amanda brings him to the man I am assuming is Patrick. Hard to tell when they weren't all wearing their names on the back. Not too long after Jon skates over to me. He grabs my hips and I let out a squeal.

"Jonathan Bryan you better not drop me" I threaten as he laughs.

"I'll never let you fall, you know that" he accuses.

My skates his the ice again and I regain my balance. I turn to him as he just looked as happy as ever.

"Where's Jas" I wonder.

"She's off with the coaches kids who are much closer in age with her. It didn't take her long to get the hang of skating" he admits.

"Well I think we're gonna have to sign Ken up for some skating classes before hockey. The kid is determined but he's got two left feet" I shake my head.

"We can work with him. That is if Amanda and Patrick don't steal him first" he teases as we look over at them. Patrick gave him a stick and Amanda was helping hold him up as they passed a puck back and fourth. It was adorable.

"I don't know, he called me mom today so I don't think he's leaving us" I insist.

"He did" Jon gasps.

"Yeah. And I wasn't as scared as I thought I would be. In fact it made me really happy. He said it so naturally and I didn't even stop to think about someone looking at us and knowing he wasn't my kid. To me that's my child and I'm happy he thinks of me as a mother" I explain.

"We're all lucky to have you" he says before placing a soft kiss on my forehead. "What do you say to meeting everyone?"

"Better late than never" I mumble.

So we skate around and I say hi to the families who were able to make it out. For the most part I was receiving good vibes and warm welcomes. I don't look, act or think like any of these women but that's not a bad thing. Amanda was excited to have someone around who wasn't so... predictable I guess. And I was excited to be a part of this. I haven't been a part of something outside of school in a long time. Have even fewer friends. Maybe this was the start of something fun for me.

"I know you probably get this a lot but you have quite a unique family" the woman I know as Elina tells me.

"I hardly notice anymore. That is until people start to stare. I get it's not something you see every day but it works. Yes blood is thicker than water but it's still just a liquid. Sometimes we need more than what we can see to be a family, it's something we feel. I feel that with Jon and the kids" I admit.

"Well we're happy to have you" Amanda admits as I smile.

"We're happy to be here" I insist.