The Burden Of Love (Jonathan Toews)

Protect .43

Jonathan

Training camp starts up here mid September and it was nice to be back on the ice with my teammates. My friends. My brothers. A few things changed since we were together last. A few new faces and missing a few of the old but that's life. Things change and we have to learn how to deal with that. It's sucks when guys like Ray leave because not just us players but the fans and our families are effected. Ken had to say goodbye to the first player that wasn't me that he actually connected with. A big reason he wanted to play in the first place. And I lose a friend who I knew I could lean on.

But change isn't bad. With change theres new chances to go out and do something we haven't done before. Go back to back winning the Stanley cup or I have a chance to not just be a great leader but the two way player I dream to be. And today I bring in a little helper to training camp to warm me up.

"These pads are heavy" Ken says as I wrap him up.

"When you start playing in competitive leagues and you go full contact you have to wear this to protect you. While stretching and working out builds up your body's endurance it only gets you so far. Weight training isn't as big of a deal in hockey because this game is one of athleticism versus strength like football. Strength is a part of athleticism but it's not weight training, it's also cardio and flexibility and so many things that allows our bodies to do things it shouldn't do. Then the pads help protect your body because even the smallest knick can feel awful if you're not careful" I explain.

"So this protects me like you protect our family" he connects and I smile.

"Yeah. Kinda like that. Because like these pads I can't protect you from everything. Sometimes there are things inevitable to happen and no matter how many pads you wear, and no matter what I do to protect you, we're gonna get hurt. And you'll ask how could this happen? I tried everything and it wasn't enough. But life isn't about never getting hurt, it's about getting back up every time you do and that's what's important" I tell him.

"I think you'll always protect me" he claims and I smile.

"I will do everything I can for the ones I love. I'm only human and I'll make mistakes. But I will never take for granted all life has given to me no matter how much it takes away" I promise.

After he gets all taped up we hit the ice. He had his own little Blackhawks jersey with Toews on the back and a number of his choosing. He chose 88 and I try not to take it too personally but what can I do?

After stretching and taking a few laps to warm up I set up drills. Eventually Patrick Kane joins us and we work together then work with Kenny. His passes are getting better and he doesn't look like a new born deer out on the ice anymore. His hockey career is young and he's not to the point where he's in competitive games yet but the kid is six. He's got time.

"Looking good little man" Patrick chirps as Ken lays another pass on his tape. "Let's try one timers."

"Like... with Ken passing right" I ask.

"No. He's shooting" Patrick claims as I raise my eyebrow.

"Pat the kid is six. And he just started lessons. I don't even know if they have even started shooting yet" I insist. I go to as many practices as I can but it's not exactly easy for me to hang around a ice rink.

"He'll be fine. I was doing one timers at his age" he scoffs.

"Patrick you're a freak. This isn't the same situation" I defend.

"It's okay dad! I can do it" Ken claims.

I let out a sigh just knowing this won't end well but also knowing there's no convincing Ken and no way in hell I'm convincing Patrick to change their mind.

Wanting no part of this I stand to the side and watch Patrick tell Ken how to use his feet and hips. How to not snap his stick on the down swing and how to control the upswing so he doesn't send himself flying across the ice. Something was inevitably going to go wrong partially because there's pro players who don't even want to try one timers and the fact that Patrick is a shit teacher. I only had the worst feelings about this.

Pat sets up a few feet in front of the crease and has Kenny at the right wing dot. He sends him a pass and Ken wiffs the first one. But he sets up again and listen to what Patrick had to say in order to do better this time around. He is determined at the least but I still didn't feel too good about this.

The very next time Ken over does it on the follow through and his feet kick out from under him. He goes face first into the ice and a hard thud sound shakes the arena.

I quickly skate over and kneel down next to him. I see his mouth all bloody as he starts to cry. A little white tooth sitting in a pool of blood on the ice.

"He still has baby teeth at this age right" Patrick asks as I whip my head around.

"Are fucking kidding me Patrick? That's what you're worried about right now" I ask.

"He's a hockey player he's bound to lose teeth! At least at this age it's probably baby teeth" he tries.

I pick Ken up and he wraps his arms around my neck. I place my hand on his back as I rub it to make him feel better.

"I told you he was not ready for this but you don't listen. Yes he still has baby teeth but none of them were loose, that still hurts to get knocked out like it would a adult tooth and now I have to get him to the dentist to make sure there's no structural damage. I don't care if it's a right of passage to lose teeth when you play hockey.

He is six years old and still learning about this game. What if he doesn't want to play now because he's scared because you thought you were some almighty teacher? What if he doesn't want to play anymore because he doesn't want to get hurt? That was reckless Patrick and your lack of concern is real shitty.

And you're calling Emmy at work to tell her what happened while I get him cleaned up" I tell him.

I skate off and take Ken to the training room and set him on the table. I grab some cloth for him to put where the missing tooth is and a ice pack for his head since it hit the ice really hard. Thank god he wore a red jersey today.

I let out a sigh as I shake my head trying to get some of the blood off his hands. This is the last thing I wanted to happen.

"Dad" he mumbles as I look up at him. The tears had stop but I can see how bad this accident really was. It was written all over his face.

"I was supposed to protect you" I whisper.

"You did" he tries with the stuffing in his mouth.

"No Ken I didn't I... I knew I shouldn't have let him try this. I should have stopped him" I sniffle.

Ken takes the gauze out of his mouth and turns to me. "But getting hurt was going to happen, right? So protecting isn't preventing but helping" he tries.

I look up at him with a smile on his face. "You sound just like your mother" I say softly.

"And hopefully my dad too" he smiles with his front tooth gone. Sure looks like him.

I nod my head as I stand up. I take the ice pack from him and fix him a new one.

A few minutes later Patrick comes in with a sad look on his face. I know he was trying to be funny so Ken didn't feel bad but it just wasn't the right thing to do in that moment. "I called Emmy, told her what happened. My ass is grass but she is going to set up a dentist appointment for Kenny this weekend. I'm sorry for not listening and I know I need to be careful with Ken. I was just so excited to share my knowledge, my love for this sport. I over did it" Patrick explains.

"And I snapped out. Kenny is strong, stronger than I give him credit for. He'll be okay" I nod.

"Do you still want to play hockey" Pat asks Ken.

"Of course I do" Ken insist and I smile. "I know if something happens Jon will be there to protect me until I'm big and strong like him."

"Damn right" I smile.