The Burden Of Love (Jonathan Toews)

Present. 15

Jonathan

We wrap up spring break in California ready to soak up the sun. We have successfully made it to four cities without anyone even knowing that we were together most every day. Usually on the road I hang out with the guys but I told them I wasn't feeling well and they avoid me like the plague not wanting to catch something and miss any games. And on this last day I wanted to push my limits a little. Not break the rules but certainly push them farther than usual.

I take Emilia and Kenny to the beach on this warm March day. Kenneth has never seen the ocean and he was excited. Had no fear about what was in the water or getting taken by a undertow. Emmy on the other hand wasn't so sure because she knew a lot more than he did. She's read all about the creatures both known and unknown in the barring sea, but I assure her that she and Kenneth will be safe. I wouldn't let anything happen to them. Never.

We find a nice spot to set up camp and put out the umbrella and towels and the rest of the stuff we brought. Before we can even pull out the sun screen Kenneth was starting to build the foundation of his sand castle he talked about the whole ride over here. I just shake my head because he was one determined kid, once he set his mind to something he was going to do it. There wasn't much that could stop him.

"Man that kid works fast" Emmy giggles.

"Efficiency is a good trait to have. He has it" I nod my head.

"Well I'm not going to let him have all the fun. Can you spray some sunscreen on my back" she asks me.

I turn to her as she stood there in a bikini. And it is true that I have known this woman for three months, but they were all during the winter and I've barley seen her knees at this point. So when I saw her in a tiny bikini I was taken aback a bit. I never thought she would be the one to wear something so revealing. But low and behold there she sat in a bright yellow bikini challenging the brightness of the sun. Her strawberry blonde hair nearly glowing as it blows in the wind. All those freckles really pop off her flawless skin as a smile comes onto my face. I didn't meant to stare but I couldn't stop it if I tried. She was beautiful. Astonishing. Breath taking. Stunning in ways that I couldn't even put into words. And I wish I could just let her know how crazy I am about her. But I never seem to find the best way to tell her.

"Jonny" she asks causing me to shake my head.

"What" I ask as I try to get my feet back on the ground.

"My back" she reminds me causing my cheeks to get warm. Right.

I finish putting sun screen on her pale skin and she finishes me off too. We join Kenny as we play in the sand. He tells us what each room is for and how many people live in his castle. The mind of children always amaze me. What they want and how they see the world. I miss the innocence and the imagination I once had. But it was nice having Ken around to feed off of.

"I don't want to leave" he pouts as we get ready to go in the ocean. Out of all the places we've been LA is his favorite and it wasn't even close.

"Buddy, Chicago is home" I remind him.

"I know. But I like it here. I want to stay" he insists.

"We can't stay sweetie" Emmy tells him.

"Why not" he pouts.

"Today was once tomorrow and it will soon be yesterday. But there is no day like the present because will never have this day again, and there will never be another one like it. That's why it's called the present. We can't spend forever in a day, time is constant and nothing makes it go faster or slower. Spending the day wishing for another day to stay away only wastes your time. The present is a present, a gift. Staying isn't possible but living in these moments are. So don't spend what little time we have wishing away something that is coming no matter what. Enjoy here, now, and soon enough every moment is a great one" she explains.

"What if the present sucks and I want to return it" Kenny asks making me chuckle.

"No returns and no trades. Life gives you sand, build a castle" she tells him.

"I do like castles" he admits.

We finish up making our empire before cooling off in the ocean. I mess around with Kenneth as I toss him into the water. The kid really had no fear and I wanted to see how far I could throw him. It made for a really really good time. After digging for sea shells and teaching Kenneth how to float on his back it was time to eat. Emilia grabs the food we packed and set it out. She fit in the LA lifestyle with her organic foods and reusable water bottle. I can see how a girl like her would thrive in a place like this. But she wasn't set on staying, she knew where she was needed most and even though this vacation was amazing she wanted to get back.

I look over to see Ken siting in Emmy's lap playing with her long hair. I smile to myself as I admire these two. They have my whole heart and I'm happy they wanted to spend their break following me around and sharing these experiences with me. It means a lot to have people I know would follow me anywhere. I would follow them too. To wherever today leads us, for whatever tomorrow holds for us. I hope we can stick together and share days like this for the rest of our lives.

"Miss Emmy" Kenneth says softly.

"Yes dear" she replies.

"Thank you for bringing me on these trips to see Jonny. I've never left Chicago before, I didn't know the world was such a big place" he claims and I smile.

"It's bigger than anything you can dream up. And I promise you I will do everything I can to show it to you. Do whatever I can to help you see what I see. Together"'she claims as she turns to me.

"Together" I assure her.