The Burden Of Love (Jonathan Toews)

Oppurtunities .44

Emilia

As September comes to a close I decide to do a little family night. Grandpa used to do these all the time, a bunch of finger foods and board games and bonding activities to force me to spend time with my grandparents instead of off in my own world. Without knowing it I was learning about playing by the rules and strategy and not cheating because you're going to get caught. Every. Single. Time. I thought it was just for fun as a kid but I learned so much. Now I can beat just about anyone at chess and know how to read a deck of cards like a children's book. I can thank my grandparents for finding fun ways to challenge me and teach me what it means to be competitive. I couldn't imagine my life without game night and I'm excited to share it with the ones I love.

With hockey season right around the corner I know I was about to lose Jon for days at a time. I don't really know much of a life without him, not since I've moved in. He was always there and I wasn't really excited about having to be on my own, but it's the sacrifice I need to make for love.

"Is my mom coming to game night" Jasmine asks and I smile.

"She's on her way up now" I promise.

We haven't heard much from her mom since the parent teacher conference. And keeping her around for a while was never going to a problem. There was never a timetable on this living arrangement and I honestly quite enjoy having Jasmine around. Jasmines situation was different than Kenny because he was officially a Toews now. Legally we have his rights and unless deemed otherwise by the law it was going to stay that way. Jasmine was here on a emergency basis and was planning on returning home at some point. Whenever it's safe.

Her mom Kerri makes it in and we welcome her. Jasmine catches up showing off her room and all her things she's done in middle school so far. She's grown quite a bit since her mom saw her last. I saw the hurt in her eyes that she's missing out on so much of her daughters life. But she knew this was best.

We all sit around and find games to play. Jon and Ken go back and fourth with mancala and Kerri, Jas and I play trouble. I enjoy my time sitting around and wracking my brain. Trying my hand with predictability and taking chances. I listen to Jas and her mom catch up not trying to interfere too much. But after what happened with Kenny's mom you can never be too careful.

"I think I'm going to try out for the basketball team" Jas says and I smile. She's been talking about it but wasn't sure. Sports wasn't her thing but in middle school the clubs weren't exactly jumping out at her. I was hoping she would at least try out for something, give her a sense of purpose like the rest of us have.

"Baby that's great. What made you want to try out" she wonders.

"Emmy" Jas says and I stop for a moment. I feel a smile come up on my face as I look up at her. "She told me that in life we all have a opportunity to make the most out of the little things. We don't have to do one great things but a bunch of little things in great ways. So instead of stressing about the big things you can enjoy the little ones. There's so much in this world I haven't tried. I learned that in Thailand. So I wanted to take the opportunities I have in middle school and make the most of them" she explains.

"You went to Thailand" Keri gasps.

"And Canada which is just as fun. But my favorite place is Chicago because that's where you are" Jasmine says making my heart flutter. How sweet is she?

I let them be and I make us some dinner. With this many people scattered throughout the pent house I decide to make some chicken tenders and homemade fries. So I get all my ingredients out and start prepping everything. I hear someone approach and see Kerri standing there. She had a sad smile on her face as she watched me.

"Hi darling, would you like some help" she offers.

"I would love some" I smile.

So she joins me in cutting potatoes as silence fills the air for a while. I wasn't sure what she was thinking or if she was okay. I don't want to say the wrong things but I don't want to think that I had nothing to say to her either.

"I've never seen Jasmine so happy" she finally says.

"It wasn't always like this. She didn't talk to me for a while at the start. Resented every single thing I did. It wasn't until she stopped looking at her situation as one bad thing but a bunch of smaller good things did she ever start to feel like she belongs" I explain to her.

"Those opportunities she was talking about having, she never would have had them with me. I mean she likes ice skating, who would have thought? She's so artistic and creative I didn't think sports was something she would get into. And if she did I hardly believe that I would be enough to support her dreams. She's really lucky to have you" she says.

"I'm the lucky one. You didn't push her on me and she isn't a burden. She was a beautiful opportunity to get to know a powerful young lady. She's taught me so much about life, about perspective, about what it means to be a young black girl in Chicago. I had to watch like twelve YouTube videos to know how to properly take care of her hair and what products to use. It took us forever to find the right skin care routine and the clothes she wanted. It's helped me with teaching but it's helped me with life too. She's taught me that I need to care for myself as I do for others and it's helped me a lot. I'm thankful for her presence, for however long she might be here" I admit.

"I still got a ways to go. I have a job lined up and once I have enough I'm moving my family away from the man who threatens us. But until then she belongs here with you and every opportunity she can. Have to be the best she can be" Kerri nods.

"We won't let you down, I promise" I smile.

"I never doubted that you would be everything I needed you to be and more. It's good to see her and it's good to hear she still love me too" she sighs.

"She might call me mom but I'll never be you. Don't forget it" I insist.