Typical

Chapter thirty one

"So, tell me" I spoke.

Shawn turned his blinker as we turned down Matthews street, on the way to his house.

It was oddly cold outside, muggy and stiff.

My fist instinct would have been to turn around and go back to school. I didn't skip, unless I was with Shawn it seemed to be.

But I needed to get in his head, I needed him to open up to me.

I wanted him to open up to me.

"I don't know where to start Will"

He breathed, uncomfortableness swimming in his dark eyes.

"I just want to understand what I am to you. Am I another one of your girls you just play with for your own satisfaction? Am I a friend?..."

I fiddled with my thumbs.

Biting my bottom lip.

"Are we more than that"?

He didn't answer for a few moments.

Just rubbed his palms on the leather steering wheel.

"I don't do these kinds of things"

"Then start doing it, with me. Your not a brick Shawn, you make yourself seem that way but I know your not"

He laughed a little but I just continued to look at him.

He was so much more than he made himself out to be.

He wasn't a brick. He wasn't emotionless.

And I needed him to show that to me.

"I'm not like you think I am"

"Your wrong" I shook my head.

"How would you know"? His voice raised a little.

"Because Shawn. You're this amazing human being who made me feel when I didn't even think that was possible anymore. You make me wanna pull my hair out and your hurt me... A lot. But you also make me so fucking happy. That's the Shawn I know you are"

"Sometimes I like it better when your pissed at me"

He stared ahead at the road.

Maybe we were slowly getting somewhere.

"Now your turn"

We turned onto another road, his house was only minutes away.

"When you left last night.."

He hesitantly began.

"And you were crying, your were so angry at me, your fists clenched together. I wanted to stare at you and pretend I was clueless to how I hurt you. Pretend that it didn't effect me one bit"

He squeezed the wheel tighter.

"But it did. It did Willow and I hated it. I thought going over Amanda's would make me forget you, forget your touch and your lips. But it didn't"

He shook his head this time.

Not looking at me.

I pulled my hand up to take one of his, running my thumb up and down the top of his soft skin.

"I cannot get you out of my head, I wanted you to be a girl I fucked and moved on to the next, like all the other girls"

'All'

I hated that word.

"But when I think of you being one of them I want to be sick. Your so much more than that."

He turned the left, pulling into his driveway.

"I want to love you"

He looked at me now.

Meeting eyes that I could get lost in for hours.

I detached my grip with his and placed both my hands on his cheeks.

They were beating hot.

"It's okay Shawn. You don't have to say anymore"

He leaned in further, connecting our lips.

"Just.. Don't leave me" he breathed through it.

I pushed deeper.

"I won't ever leave."