Typical

Chapter seventy seven

"I don't know where.. To start" He laughed lightly while running his sweating palms up and down his pants.

I kept my eyes glued to the road ahead, foot pressed against the gas a little harder then it should have been.

We took Ally's car for a drive, it was more of a distraction driving while listening to him talk then it was sitting and waiting I guess.

I didn't expect to hear this long thought out deep emotional apology, I'm not sure what I expected.

I had spent the last few months going over this scene in my head, him coming back to me, me throwing myself back into his arms and everything would go exactly back to the way it should be, to the way it was.

Then other days I had pictured me punching him in the nose for hurting me this way.

But now that it was finally here, that it wasn't just in my head anymore.

I didn't expect those scenarios, I was just waiting and impatient yet steady.

"Willow I'm sorry" He was looking at me now, I could feel his eyes gently circling my heated cheeks.

I squeezed the steering wheel.

"I thought that leaving you was what was best for you, you deserved someone so much better to me, someone who could offer and provide you with so much more. I'm just a fucked up teenage boy and I don't know how to.. to.." he couldn't find the right words so I helped him out.

"Care for someone. Let someone care for you. That's bullshit Shawn" I shook my head, anger building all the way back up.

"I know how it sounds but it's true Will and you have to try and understand that"

"I have to try and understand? Shawn you are not the person who gets to decide what is best for me got that? I decide what's best for me"

I was yelling now, my chest was pumping.

He didn't take his gaze off me.

"you.. You were what was best for me okay?.." My voice quieted down and I could just feel the tears beginning to well.

I didn't want to cry.

Fuck.

"I was scared. Im scared" I didn't realize it but his hand had grabbed mine off the steering wheel. I'm not sure how long he had been holding it but I squeezed it tighter.

"I was scared too Shawn but that's what people do who love each other, they work through their fears and they fight for what they want. They don't just give up. You gave up. I didn't"

He nodded as I spoke.

"Why didn't you call me? Text me? You made it look so easy to leave.."

I swallowed. Remembering all those mornings I woke up and the first feeling I felt was the tighten of my chest.

Wanting to cry at 8 in the morning or four in the afternoon and midnight, every moment of the day I thought more on him.. was painfully miserable.

"I wanted to make it easier. If I had called or texted you if would be harder.."

"On who? Me? You?"

"Both of us" He admitted.

"I was so hurt Shawn.." I looked at him now, which probably wasn't very safe considering I was driving but I had entered a back country road, no traffic.

"I know Will and that kills me that I did that to you. I was hurting too I promise it was just you, I don't know if that makes it any better but I thought of you every single morning. I'm stubborn and I'm a prick.. And I'm sorry" He breathed out.

A tear had slipped down my cheek but i wiped it away.

"What does this mean.." I croaked, pulling off into the dirt so I didn't crash from the blur my eyes would become.

"For us"? He asked, I nodded.

"I want you back.. I know that but if you need time or if you don't.. Want me.."

I did want him, of course I did.

But was I stupid?... Did this make me less of a women? Weak? Dumb?

"I love you.." I half smiled, his hand reached the back of my hair as he pulled my lips onto his.

God I had missed kissing him so much.

"I love you Willow"

"Don't leave me again.. Please"

"I promise"