Typical

Chapter seventy six

They say that it takes 21 days to break a habit.

My habit was him and I thought that maybe it would take 23, or 30.

Not three months.

It has been 90 days sense I had to break this habit and I still couldn't seem too.

Shawn was my habit.

I never needed him to survive, but I wanted him and when you love someone, there's not much of a difference between want and need.

I hadn't expected to see his face again, maybe years from now when we were both happy with other people. Even though I couldn't quite wrap my head around that idea.

But not now.

"Hey hey, slow down. Are you okay"? Bens warm fingers wrapped around my shoulder, pulling me to a halt in the dead of the night with a destination of nowhere.

"Of course. Of fucking course he had to show up. God, when I was finally starting to have a decent night" The words were fumbling off my lips so fast I couldn't understand them myself.

Seeing him sent chills down my spine and anger throughout my veins.

"Fuck him. Fuck him, he's an asshole" I kept talking, kept spitting profanity like it was my name.

I thought every single day sense he left that seeing him again would hurt, hurt me all over again.

I thought my knees would buckle and my heart would pound so slowly.

But that wasn't what was happening.

I was so furious.

I hated him.

"It's okay" Ben rubbed my shoulders, looking me dead in the eyes.

He had such a comforting gaze, I thought maybe looking at him a bit longer my breathing would slow down.

"You must think I'm crazy.." I shook my head and tried to laugh.

"Not at all. I'm assuming you knew him pretty well, but we don't have to talk about that. You need something to get your mind off that whole situation"

He pulled the smoothest grin out of nowhere, and as kind as it was. I didn't want to go anywhere else but home.

My mind wasn't going to escape this unless I had drugs in my system.

But I didn't do that, and I wouldn't.

"I appreciate the offer, but I really just wanna go home"

He looked at me a second longer before pulling me into his side an leading me back towards the peer, avoiding the fire and people as much as possible.

Shawn was here

He was right fucking here and I was walking away.

Was I wrong? Was I being stupid to even consider talking to him?

Should I hear him out?

Should I rip his dick off for hurting me?

Both?

"I don't know what to do.." My voice cracked as we reached the parking lot and stepped off the cool sand.

Ben, this stranger I seemed to be spilling my heart out too, frowned. Not really know how to comfort me, not knowing if I wanted his comfort myself.

"Well.." He began, as I pointed out which car was Ally's.

"I just feel dumb for wanting to talk to him. He fucked everything up and I'm the one wanting to jump back into his arms? Why can't this be like any other normal teenage breakup, we move on and pretend it never happened. I can't pretend me and Shawn never happened because the fucking kid is everywhere I look even when he's not really there..." My lips felt numb from blabbing so much. But I needed to get this out and Ben dug himself a whole being here.