ADOPTED BY THE SIDEMEN

~ Therapy ~

TW: Mentions of self harm
***
Holly's POV
4pm
***

The typing from Carrie's nails on her keyboard puts me on edge. The room is unsettlingly warm and I feel like going home. Scratch that, I want to go home.

I've been seeing Carrie for a few weeks now. She's my therapist and we get along well.

"Ready to talk yet?" Carrie asks, turning around in her spinny chair.

"Nope"

I look up at the clock and watch as the hands move slowly, almost sluggishly slow. It's only been fifteen minutes since JJ dropped me off, but I'm determined to run out the clock with silence.

Carrie turns back around in her chair and continues to type.
I feel unwell and sickeningly uncomfortable. I begged JJ to take me back home, but he refused, saying that I need these sessions. I tried to come across as ill, but JJ didn't buy it and almost carried me out to the car himself.

I lean back on the stiff sofa and feel my phone buzz in my joggers pocket. I check my phone and see Sophie's contact on my lock screen.
After the whole essay situation, JJ called Ms Lewis and asked for proof or confirmation that I had cheated and plagiarised. Ms Lewis looked through the essays and finally admitted she was wrong when she noticed I had sent her the first draft of my essay ages ago. Sophie got an academic warning, and had to rewrite the essay and I forgave her. It was a one time thing, I'm sure.

"Your dad sent me an email," Carrie says, running a hand through her chestnut coloured hair. "He said you've been a bit stressed all week. Should we talk about that?"

I scoff and Carrie looks at me.

"I haven't been stressed," I reply. "I'm just tired of everyone at home"

Carrie picks up her clipboard and sits down on the sofa across from me. She grabs a pen and starts writing something down. I sigh and roll my eyes.
Here we go.

"What do you mean by that?" Carrie asks.

I shrug, but Carrie pushes me further.

"Holly, you need to open up"

"Everyone at home seems to have an issue with me," I finally say, rubbing the faded scars on my wrist. "I've been told off and bitched at for nothing"

"Is your dad included in that?" Carrie asks, getting her pen ready.

I nod.
JJ's been frustrated with me all week. I think he's stressed out about some things, but it shouldn't give him the right to take it out on me.
The other day, I accidentally answered Ethan in a harsh way. JJ came into my room and told me to fix my attitude or I would be grounded for the rest of the week. It was a bit much, but JJ had just gotten off a frustrating business call that didn't work in my favor.

"What happened this week then?"

I shrug.

"I had college and then every day I've come home, my family's been annoyed with me"

Carrie looks at me and I realize I haven't explained enough.

"I've been told off for my attitude and being angry. The guys don't like when I'm being disrespectful"

Carrie nods and writes something down on her clipboard.

"Do you think you had an attitude?"

I uncross my legs and continue to rub my faded scars harder. It's an anxiety trait I have.

"I mean," I start, thinking back on the week. "When I've been scolded all week, I'm bound to be fed up and have some sort of attitude, right?"

"Sure," Carrie nods, writing more stuff down.