ADOPTED BY THE SIDEMEN

· Fitting in is hard ·

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Holly's POV

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"Everyone pick a partner and get started!"

The classroom erupts into chaos. Kids smile, jump around and ask others excitedly, forming groups. I stay sat at the back of the class, my head down. I hate when teachers do this and make group projects. 

No one comes up to me to form a group or to even ask. It's okay, I'm used to it. Ever since I started here at Whitehill Academy I haven't been able to fit in. I remember my first week here. Kids stared at me as if I were some exotic bird and a week later one group of girls had flushed my PE kit down the loo. It was so embarrassing I couldn't even tell JJ or Simon what had been going on. The boys think I have friends but if I'm being honest I don't. I only made up a few names to not worry Simon and JJ. It's been hard because JJ always wants to meet my friends but I always make out that they're busy. Truth is, I have zero friends. 

That's not completely true, I guess. I have Remi but she's in a different class and we only get to see each other at lunch as our breaks don't mix. Remi's got other friends too but I've just been too shy to meet any of them. 

I could have friends if I wanted to, but sometimes I can't help but feel I don't deserve them. 

"Holly? Why don't you join Kelsey's group?"

I look up and see Ms Beatie, my English teacher. Her blonde hair is scooped up with a big clip and her eyes are bright blue. She makes me feel a little uncomfortable sometimes. 

"Miss, could I just work alone?" I ask quietly.

She sighs and shakes her head. "Holly, you really should work with a group. It'll be easier and you can split up the work-"

"Miss, it says on the worksheet that you can work alone," I point out, showing her the page. 

She looks rather flustered and defeated as she goes red. 

"Right," she replies, her lips pursed tightly. "Get on with it then"

She leaves me alone and walks back to her desk. I take the time to look over the project booklet and sketch a plan. 

The feeling of being a loser firmly plants itself in my stomach as I realize I'm the only student in this classroom working alone. 

Brilliant.

***

"This dress or this one?"

I roll my eyes and sigh, smiling at Talia. She's already started packing for the Sidemen trip even though it's still weeks away. 

"You might think this is silly but at least my packing will be done. Then I can stream and not have to rush!"

I shrug and nod. "I guess"

Talia cocks her head to the side and throws the folded dresses into her suitcase. 

"What's up with you today? You don't seem your regular cheery self"

I shrug again. "I had a weird day at school"

Talia sighs and sits next to me. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head no.

"I used to get picked on"

I look up at Talia, a little surprised. She's so pretty and talented I would've thought she was the popular one. 

"It got so bad that I didn't even finish my A levels. It was a miracle I got through my GCSE's"

"Wow," I whisper. "What did people do?"

Talia laughs. "All kinds of things. They would tell me to get a nose job, they told me I was fat, they said I was a loony nut case, they stole my clothes when I was in the showers- they did a number of things"

I can't speak. I feel guilty for now complaining about my school life when all the kids did was violate my PE kit and look at me funny. 

"But I got through that point in my life," Talia continues, now with a stronger tone to her voice. "I turned to singing, starting a YouTube channel and streaming. Now I'm financially comfortable and live on my own, I have a fantastic boyfriend and I have amazing friends"

"That's inspiring," I chuckle. "How did you get past that point in your life?"

"Mainly support," Talia smiles. "From my family and myself. I helped myself get out of there and you'll do the same, love. There's something beautiful about the way your body fixes itself. Just wait and see"

Talia pats my shoulder and stands up, zipping her suitcase shut. 

"Finally done!" she exclaims, just as Simon walks in. 

"Wow," he says, eyeing her bag. "You do know we're only going for a week, right?"

She gives him a look that shuts him up quick. I laugh and Simon turns to me. 

"By the way, JJ said he wants to talk to you when he gets home"

I nod and he and Talia leave. My heart beats quicker than before. I hope I haven't done anything to upset JJ. 

***

"Holly?"

I open my eyes to the sound of JJ's soft voice. He smiles at me as I sit up and make a few school books fall to the floor. JJ moves them to the side with his foot and leans against my wall, crossing his arms. I rub my eyes and yawn. 

"Long day at school?" he chuckles. 

I shrug. "It was fine. How was your day?"

JJ pulls out my desk chair and spins it around so it's facing him. He sits down and rests his arms on the top of the chair, looking at me.

"My day was good"

Silence falls upon us and I awkwardly interlace my fingers, cracking them slowly. JJ just looks at me, his eyes dark with curiosity.

"I got an email from school," he sighs, breaking the silence. "Your English teacher seems to think you're not fitting in properly. She says you often seem upset and refuse to work with the other students. Is this true?"

I shrug and JJ chuckles, shaking his head. "Sweetheart, if you don't feel like you're fitting in, I want you to tell me these things, yeah?"

I nod. "Okay"

"Good," he says, standing up. "Fitting in isn't easy but if you tell me I can always try to help. I'm always here, Simon's always here and the rest of the Sidemen are here. Talia, Gee and Freya are also. You've got a lot of people to talk to, okay?"

I nod and close my eyes as JJ kisses my cheek. He ruffles my hair and winks before leaving. 

I mentally curse my English teacher and sigh. Why did she have to get JJ involved? There was no need. If she had worries she should have told me. 

However, I did talk to Talia and I feel better. Hearing her story has inspired me to just be myself and fuck others if they don't agree with me being me. 

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