The Supernatural Diaries {Book One}

Friday Night Bites: Dean II

It was all my fault.

Everything about this situation was all my fault. If I hadn't provoked him, none of this would have happened. Maybe if I had led him on, tried to placate him, I could've bought myself some time to think up a solution to put him down without killing him so that I wouldn't be stuck at the age of 18 forever. At the very least we'd still have our Coach around.

"No, this is good," the dark voice whispered in my ear. "With him gone, you can do as you please. Despite what he said earlier, Damon does care about what you think about him. He only killed him so you wouldn't have to." I tried to shake the voice out of my head but nothing worked. Only the sound of Elena's voice seemed to chase the Madness away.

But even then, it just pulled me right back into the current conversation we were having about tonight's events. "What kind of animal could be doing all of this? Why would it come out of the woods and attack someone in the middle of town?" I pulled her close and wrapped my arms around her protectively. "I don't know, Lena," I lied, however, even as I did so, my heart dropped to my stomach. "I was worried about you earlier tonight," she mused. I tilted my head in confusion and raised my brow. "You were? Why?" I asked. "It's the way you acted when you saw how beat up Sam had gotten by Tyler," she began. I couldn't help but clench up at the mention of Lockwood, but I steadied myself so I didn't give myself away.

"Can we not talk about that?" I said quickly. "It's just... I don't want to relive seeing Tyler beating up my little brother because then I might have to turn myself over to the police for killing Tyler, and I think we've had enough death for one night." Elena cracked a small smile at my macabre joke. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you," Elena offered. "I know, beautiful," I nodded and placed a kiss on her head. It amazed me how I could let so much of the stress of my life just fall away when I was around her. I wish it was like that all the time.

Because even for a tiny second, I thought Stefan was right. I thought there was hope. That somewhere deep inside, something in Damon was still human; that maybe there was still a glimmer of the man I once loved still in there. A hope that maybe, just maybe, he could have been that man again. But Stefan was wrong. There's nothing human left in Damon, and I feel partly to blame. No good, no kindness, and no love. Not even for me. All that's left is a monster who must be stopped.