The Supernatural Diaries {Book One}

Family Ties: Damon I

I admit I may have gone too far the other night when I killed Tanner, but what can I say? I was hurt and angry. What did else was I going to do? Cry? No! That is not how I deal with things.

What I'm going to do is focus back on my original plan, starting with Caroline. Speaking of which— "What do you think, Damon?" her annoyingly perky voice spoke, piercing through my brain. God, I CANNOT WAIT to just kill her and be done with it. "No yellow. Jaundice. Go for the blue," I yawned dismissively, focusing back on the book in my hand. Seriously, I don't know if I should laugh or feel affronted by the depiction of vampires in Twilight. "But I don't like the blue," Caroline whined. "Well, I do," I snapped. "And if I'm gonna be your date—" "You cannot be my date," she cut me off, and I swear if this bitch does that again, I may not be to hold off my instincts telling me to rip out her throat. "My mother is going to be there and she's a very proud gun owner."

Ugh! Blah, blah, blah. Yap, yap, yap. No, no, no. Why is everyone in this goddamn town telling me no like I'm a bad puppy who keeps pissing on the carpet? I'm a vampire for God's sake! I do what I want, when I want, with who I want. So, why does everyone think they can suddenly tell me what to do? And why does it always feel like shit whenever it's Dean who's telling me no? Am I that bad? Am I such a horrible person that Dean feels ashamed he ever met me? Am I— WHOA! Hold up. I am Damon Salvatore, the most elusive immortal bachelor/debonair bloodsucking badass on planet earth. I'm dangerous. Why the hell am I letting some half-Hunter dictate what I can and can't do?

He doesn't love me? So what? It's not the first time someone didn't love me. He sided with Stefan over me? Big whoop. Katherine chose Stefan, too. Dean disapproves of me and cuts his losses? Who cares? My dad did that ages ago.

Dean does all this talk about not hurting people. "Leave Caroline alone, Damon." "Why'd you kill Tanner, asshole?" And yet, he was perfectly fine with me killing Vicki Donovan a few weeks ago just to keep Stefan's secret safe. Stefan. Why, oh, why is it always my annoying little brother Stefan? Why does everyone just defend him? Everyone calls me the bad guy, but he's the real villain. If any of them knew what I knew about him, they'd have him burned at the stake. And if Dean knew even half of the truth about my brother... heh, there probably wouldn't be a place on Earth for Stefan to hide.

"Hello? Damon? Are you even listening to me?" Caroline screeched, bringing me out of my reverie. And not a moment too soon either, things were getting kind of... bleak. "Yes, Caroline, I heard you," I mumbled. "Look, sweety, I went through a lot of trouble to make sure this party wasn't canceled. I must be there." Then I gazed into her eyes intensely and said, "Please take me." She stood there dazed for a couple of seconds before smiling brightly, "You should totally come with me to the Founder's Party." "Not if you're wearing that dress," I passed, flipping to the next page. I could practically feel her eyes rolling into the back of her head, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

God, I can't believe these are the type of people that Dean is willing to put his life on the line for. Tanner, Caroline. They're both annoying pieces of trash that latch onto you, like a tick latches onto a dog's ass. I mean, come on. Even Elena said that she was annoying! Plus, I've been hearing about Dean bitching about Tanner since he started high school. As far as I'm concerned, I'm doing a public service ridding the world of Coach Asshat and Barbie Bimbo (like seriously, how insecure can one teenage girl be? Her people-pleaser attitude is annoying, her self-esteem to self-awareness ratio is God-awful. It's no wonder she was so susceptible to the compulsion). But does anyone else see it that way? Nope. Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore. The bell has been rung, battle lines have been drawn. All that's left is to see which one of us comes out on top: him or me.

But even though he broke my heart and despite how loath I am to admit this, I don't want to be the one who shoots first. Not again.