One and only warning: This book contains religion, catholic guilt, sex addiction, drug abuse, graphic sexual content and heavy violence. Read at your own discretion.
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"I am a priest, Anna. A child of god. You are a temptation," He whispered out, h...
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The rain flooded the streets of Madrid as the morning started. It was good while it lasted, I guessed. Waking up to thunderstorms were calming yet nerve wrecking all at the same time. I liked it when it was innocent storms, and this is exactly what that was. Innocent.
Although, when my eyes open and the sounds of the rain drops pattered on the tin roof top of the ceiling, I was reminded that Gracie was laying next to me in bed. I felt her presence from behind me, mainly because her back was closely tucked to mine.
Last night was so unreal to me. I almost couldn't comprehend it, but when I came back to the apartment, I found Gracie curled up in my bed asleep. I felt so bad. She was way closer to Nathan than I was. I couldn't imagine what Michael had felt like when he heard the movies.
It didn't really hit me until I had gotten into the shower and I really thought about it. Like, really thought about it. The memory of watching him squirm around on the ground like a roach fighting for his life, the fire eating away at his skin as his screams pierced my ears.
I would never forget that scream.
It lived dormant in my head until it would popped out at times and cause my chest to shake in anxiety.
Nathan was dead, and when I had came to that realization, I fell to my knees in the bathroom shower and sobbed. With my hands flat on the slippery porcelain bottom of the tub, my knees steadied deep into the ground as if I was hurling out all of the nervous vomit. And I wept. With everything in me, I wept.
With my forehead to the ground, my palms closed, my tears washed down the drain to join with the river that I created in the sewage drains. I wept.
My eyes still burned from last nights episode, and I felt the crust peel at the corner of my lips as I parted them. With my knuckles to my eyes, I rubbed them as I threw the blanket off of me and trudged into the bathroom to freshen myself up.
I definitely slept pretty hard given the bags under my eyes and the amount of crust that snuggled deep into the crevices of my eyes. There was an empty feeling in my chest, but I tried to shake it off the best I could while I washed my face and brushed my teeth.
I was just thankful that my brain decided not to run a million miles an hour while I cleaned up. It was much too early for me to start thinking about everything.
As I cleaned myself up, I heard my floors creak around the apartment, confirming that Gracie had just gotten up. I sighed, rubbing the bags under my eyes with my two fingers as I pulled the door open and trudged out into the living room.
To me, it was okay to be sad by yourself, but having someone else around you that was sad at the same time was extremely exhausting. I had always felt like I needed to be there for someone when they were sad, and I did want too, but it was draining. Trying to take care of myself while comforting someone else was another chore.
