One and only warning: This book contains religion, catholic guilt, sex addiction, drug abuse, graphic sexual content and heavy violence. Read at your own discretion.
-
"I am a priest, Anna. A child of god. You are a temptation," He whispered out, h...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I fucked up.
I knew that.
I let my insecurities get the best of me, especially between Anna and Niall. Just seeing them getting close to one another in Venice got to me, I couldn't put my finger on why. Maybe it was because he was better than I was, he had the means, and I didn't. He had the money that I wished I could have, not that I was seeking for it, but seeing what Niall could do with Anna made me think about what I could do for her if I had that money.
When I moved away from London, I didn't care about money. If I had money, then it was just means for me to buy drugs and I barely got by with that. All my extra money went to Veronica, would send her money just to get me off and even then it was an addiction I couldn't shake.
But now, I want that money. I want it all because I want to give it to Anna. Knowing that I could have that power that they have to protect Anna, I didn't have any of that. I was just some broke priest, if you even wanted to call me that anymore. I haven't worked as a priest in sometime, long enough that I've gotten calls from some of the church goers about where I was.
Of course I had to tell them I fell ill, I didn't know what else to say.
After Anna told me she needed space, I fell into a dark place. Niall was pissed off at me, Pete didn't even know how to talk to me, but they were here and we needed to take care of business. It was hard, though, given I was drinking half bottles of tequila to numb the pain.
I never thought that I would ever feel some sort of heartbreak like this. Being away from Anna has been the hardest thing I could ever do, I didn't even know where Gracie lived so it's not like I could just show up. I almost called Ajax to find out, just to give me a peace of mind on where she would be.
She won't answer any of my texts, I've gone to double texting at this point. I've tried spreading them out, just so I won't annoy her and the thought of trying to call her made me anxious. Hearing the phone ring and ring and ring and then eventually go to voicemail.
"This is Anna, leave a message and I'll call you back!"
God, her voice.
I missed it.
I missed her.
I was going insane, she was making me go insane. I couldn't sleep at night, not since we had shared a bed for a while now. Last night I rolled over and reached out for her to hold just to find that she's still not there, that she's still mad at me, and that I still fucked up.
I shouldn't have made a big deal about Niall and Pete housing her, it was their jobs, but I was at my lowest point and after Venice and sharing our most intimate thoughts, moments, lives with one another I just felt like dirt.
I wanted to be a good man for her, but I was scared that I wasn't what she needed, nor what she wanted.
After hiding away in my apartment, Pete showed up at my door. I was a few shots of tequila in and my head was fuzzy. I'd been laying on the couch for what seemed like days and if I wasn't on the couch, I was in my bed.
