fifty-one.

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TW || if you do not like guns, please read with caution. no violence occurs, but there will be mentions of guns and shooting.

I'm in a place I'd seen too many times

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I'm in a place I'd seen too many times. The air felt familiar, the surroundings were tight around my body like a close knit blanket. I blink. I blink, but not too fast, not because I want to miss anything, but in fear of something appearing in front of me. Something that may be there in the time it took to blink.

The wind whispered in my hair, lulling sweet songs into my ears while it sent shivers down my spine. My toes were cold and wet, digging into the grass that held mildew in such early mornings. But it wasn't early morning, was it? In fact, I couldn't see past my own hand. It was almost like there was an illuminating light that just shone on me and nothing else.

I open my mouth to say something, but I can't. My jaw felt tight and my tongue wasn't existent. Suddenly I mash my mouth together and feel my teeth start to chip away, melt, like powder fallen into water. They disintegrated. A sour taste started to fall in my mouth, my eyes suddenly shut tight and a sense of fear washed over me.

"You're not alone, Anna."

I whimper. My body felt as if I had no control, as if I was some sort of inflatable flailing object they put in front of stores. I lifted my hand, but it was a fuzzy feeling as if TV static was coursing through my veins. I cried out, but my mouth stayed shut. The tears that welted were burning my eyes. The pads of my fingers reach to my mouth even though the further I was reaching out, the more it felt as if I was free-falling down a dark pit full of nothing; bottomless. I was falling.

"Cat got your tongue?"

What's happening?

Why can't I move?

Why can't I speak?

"Open your eyes, Anna. Look at me."

Another brush of wind passed me, but this time it shook me to my core. If my body didn't feel so numb, I'd surely have a panic attack. I fight against myself, forcing my jelly-like arms to reach out to touch my mouth.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

The voices surrounding me sounded so sweet at first, but that's how they always sounded. I've lived through this before. I know the ending and it's always the same. Each time I tried to fight against it, I always lost. Despite the fear shaking me, I used my strength to push further.

"Anna, anna, anna." The voices taunted me, each word fluxing downwards, the candy-like tone seeped down into a rasp and warped into my worst nightmare.

No.

"What are you afraid of? Us?"

Stop it.

"Afraid of losing him?"

Stop it.

"Afraid of...."

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