Little Wolf | George Weasley | UNDER EDITING

18. Umbridge's message (under editing)

I sat in the Slytherin common room the rest of the day, joined by Theo who excused himself from class just after I did. He didn't make me talk, he didn't make me do anything, he just sat there with me. That was the best thing he could've done at the moment.

I had detention with umbridge this afternoon, meaning I wouldnt be able to eat dinner. Theo didn't know about the detention, but he knew I wouldn't want dinner. he convinced me to walk up to the greathall for lunch so I wouldnt go hungry tonight, but at this point, I wanted to go hungry, and I couldnt face the people who knew.

I was being dramatic, I know it, you dont have to tell me but I can't help how I feel. i could never understand why i got to live and they didnt? I was in the snow just as long as my mother was that day but I was fine. I was one of voldemorts leading targets when he returned but he killed cedric? I dont know what happened to my father but something inside me made me feel as though his death was my fault too.

Theo never left my side as I walked through the stone corridors of the cold empty castle. i didnt truly have any emotions on my face, not even grief or sorrow, i was just there. I could hear the bustling chatter of students as we approached the great hall, was I ready for everyone in that class to know that my mother was, a lestrange then killed herself in front of her 9-year-old daughter? it sounded cruel, but none of them knew who she truly was and they never would.

Theo could sense my anxiety as he rested his hand on my lower back guiding me into the hall. people werent looking, I mean I didnt expect them to stare it was just that I knew they knew, I glanced over to the gryffindor table as we made our way to the slytherin side. Fred and george whose faces brightened at the sight of me immediately dropped when they saw Theo and I walking to the slytherin table.

Georges face looked as though he was shot through the heart when I walked past, and Fred's resembled something along the lines of sad and annoyance. they had grown to enjoy my company every day, as i had for them. I wasnt suprised by their reactions when I walked straight past them not giving even a notice.

I wasn't trying to ignore them or make them feel unwanted, most of all George. i just couldn't face anyone, i missed my mother terribly and i never truly let myself be sad over her death and when i did allow myself to be sad i acted like a total selfish bitch, i hated it.

I took a seat at the end of the table away from everyone who had gathered in the middle to talk to friends and discuss upcoming holidays. Theo went and made us our plates, he stacked mine full of all my favorite foods hoping it would lift my spirits, but it didn't. i picked at the food in front of me probably only eating a fourth when the bell rang. Theo didnt make me talk during lunch, he just sat there with me and at this moment, that is exactly what i needed.

"will you be going to the last few classes today?" theo asked quietly as people around us began to get up and leave.

I shook my head, making the tear that was pooling up in my eyes fall, Theo took immediate action wiping the tear off my face and bringing me into a side hug as we stood. "i will never let anything hurt you, i hope you know that. Rosalie you are my best friend and nothing will ever happen to me, or you, or our friendship in general" he whispered "I'm not dumb, i knew what you were thinking."

I choked out a small laugh, he was right. i had spent lunch thinking back on the people i cared about and what i would do if they left me like my mother and Cedric. I've been lying to myself every single day since June 24th trying to make me think I wasnt close with cedric, trying to convince myself we only talked a few times with a few letters, when in truth, we had sent almost a letter a day for months. I wouldve considered him my brother, and then he was gone. forever.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly crying as he guided me to the great hall exit. I hated myself for trying to convince myself Cedric meant nothing, It was a disgrace to his memory. "for being so, dramatic, and a cry baby" I laughed quietly again. "I'm not going to ruin your mood because mine is in the dumps."