Little Wolf | George Weasley | UNDER EDITING

58. Innocence

The wind blew gently across my face. The chill of the Scotland air caused goosebumps to rise on my arms and my breath came out softly.

I sat with my legs dangling from the Astronomy tower's edge and felt their weight hang. It had been a few days, Theo was out of the hospital wing and today was June 24th, 1996. One year.

One long and painful year.

Cedric died a year ago today, my best friend died a year ago today, and the person who made me who I was,  died a year ago today.

How was I supposed to live and breathe when all I could think of was pain? Why did someone want to continue to feel and live like this? Who chose this?

They say time heals but it's been a fucking year and I'm not any better than I was the day he died. A whole year of misery covered by laughs and decent times.

Did I ever tell anyone how truly miserable I was? No, did I even allow myself to know how truly sad I was? Also no.

Life was just a cage, a cage that kept you trapped in horrible memories, a cage that kept you from breathing, genuinely breathing. So why did I stay?

"Rosalie?" Theo asked limping up into the room, "What are you doing up here? Seems a little depressing."

"I'm a little depressed" I smiled turning to face him and resting my cheek on one of the railings, "sit with me?"

"If I can get down I will" he grinned, Theo hadn't really been as hyper or giggly since the ministry. Though, He eventually did sit himself down. "So, other than your father dying, what is causing your depression? I can see it's not just that"

I laughed "You know me too well" my gaze fixated over on the quidditch pitch. He may not have died there specifically but his body landed back on that pitch.

"It's Cedric," I rasped staring off at the pitch for a while "It's been exactly one year since he died. One, whole, year." A tear slipped from my eye "It's just- I didn't want to have to feel that again, you know? I didn't want to feel the horror of knowing they were gone- I never thought I'd have to live without either of them."

Theo didn't speak but rested his head on my shoulder for comfort.

"I can't keep doing this Theo" I whispered "Every day I've woken up in fear and not because they are gone- not because I can't see them but... I wake up in fear because of the people I love, that are alive" The tears flowed freely now "Every day I have to wake up and live in fear you are going to die too, or George, or Fred, or Remus. Every day I wake up in terror and I can't, I can't keep doing it."

"Rosalie, we're not leaving you. I'm not leaving you." A tear fell from his cheek onto my shoulder. theo being in pain made me in pain.

"Rosalie you are the most important person in the universe to me, I wouldn't trade you for the world and the thought of you ever being in this much pain kills me. I look at you and I feel as if I'm feeling your pain as my own and I know how it feels to lose someone and the thought of losing you doesn't even compare."

I laughed through the tears and a smile appeared on my face.

"I know there is a lot of uncertainty in this world but the only thing I am certain of is how much I love you, and how much you love me. We can't predict the future and we cannot control it but what I can control is that you will not lose me. I am not going anywhere. I promise, I promise Ro." During his monologue, he had placed his hands on the side of my head forcing me to face him.