multifandom oneshots/preferences

ridiculous crossover episode iv

today's crossover is the long awaited...

slipknot x transformers!!

(huge thanks to @sombrawqza for the idea of a snow leopard transformer)

"Can I pet you?"

Being an Autobot is a lot. It's draining. Sometimes you just need a little bit of time with some metal and sitting at the bank of your favorite pond in a forest. 

You're halfway through Duality when you hear something scuttling about around you. Being paranoid from battle, you look around in case it's a Decepticon, but only see the last bit of a man running away to a cluster of boulders.

You pause the music from the screen on your gauntlet and begin to stand up. 

"I've gotta be high," a human voice mutters from behind a rock.

Yep, you probably are, and that'd make disappearing you a hell of a lot easier, you think, stalking over to where the voice came from. More scuttling. He's on the move. 

Prime would definitely prefer you don't interfere, but you have feeling in your spark that whoever saw you is sober. Sober enough to report you to, say, the human police. Sober enough to attract attention to a forest not half a mile away from the Autobot base. 

You continue around the rocks and trees nearby until you come across the human. 

"Oh, shit," he mumbles. 

"Sid! Sid, where are you!" a few voices call from the clearing by the pond. 

The man in front of you gazes up at you. "I didn't know you were real..."

"SID!"

You look over your shoulder to see 8 other men running about in the clearing, supposedly to look for the man in front of you. 

"Are you Sid?" you ask, leaning down on one knee. Hm...Sid. You know that name.

"I-I am. Are you Y/n?"

Your optics widen before they narrow in confusion. 

"How do you know who I am? Decepticon?" you growl. 

"No, no, just...a fan," Sid pulls his sleeves back to show you his Autobot and Decepticon tattoos. 

"How do you know about us?"

"Uh, I love the Transformers," Sid raises an eyebrow. "Can I introduce you to the guys?"

"No. No you cannot," you lower your optic ledges. "You and I are both in enough danger as it is, and you never told me how you know about us."

"Whoa, what the hell?" you hear directly behind you. You flinch and push off the ground to step back and take in the other 8 men in front of you. They all look at you in pure awe. You, an Autobot seeker Cybertronian that Sid had long adored for your character (and definitely not because you're an attractive robot), exist. You're real. 

"Wait...'Sid', you say?" you kneel back down on the ground to study the first man. "Sid Wilson?"

The man gasps. "Yeah, that's me!"

"You're Slipknot, aren't you?" you face the other 8 men, who each give some answer in the affirmative. 

"Hm, it seems we are mutual fans of one another, Sid Wilson," you let a small smile form. 

"No fucking way," Sid's jaw drops. 

"Don't look so surprised. You make good music," you scoff, leaning back and sitting down to rest against a tree. "I need you people to swear to keep this between us, okay?"

"Do you have a hideout?" Sid asks. 

"Nerd," the tallest guy says the one with the thick neck. They're Jim and Corey, right?

"For legal reasons, that's classified," you smirk and cross your arms. 

"I've already infringed on quite a bit of classified information by just seeing you, don'tcha think?" Sid leans against a tree. 

"I'm sorry, stop flirting with a giant robot," a shorter man with long hair admonishes Sid. 

"Shush, small one. This makes me feel important," you wave a hand to dismiss him. 

"Really?!" a smile spreads across Sid's face. He looks away to hide a little blush. 

"Mhm," you nod. "It seems this is just as exciting for you."

"I mean, you like my music, so...yeah," Sid replies. "What Slipknot songs do you like, if that's not classified?"

"Stop flirting with the robot, Sid, we're all uncomfortable," Mick calls. 

"'Robot'? Bastard, I could squash you within a second. I would be more careful with your scornful language," you snap. 

"Yeah, man. Respect them," Sid huffs.

"Hold on, how are you, like a snow leopard if you're supposed to be millions of years old?" Corey inquires.

"Because I had to learn how to adapt to my environment. This form you see here works for being on Cybertron, but this form-" you transform into a massive snow leopard before laying yourself down. "-is, well, was better when the animals were bigger and humans hadn't yet destroyed the planet."

You shake your head out to ruffle the scales of artificial fur. Sid gazes up in pure awe. 

"Is it degrading to ask if I can pet you?" he asks shyly. 

You pause for a second, unsure of how to answer that. After a moment of thought, you lower your head closer to Sid to allow him to touch you.

"You're cold," the DJ flinches.

"I am made of metal," you nod. 

"Right, right."

Your gaze flicks over to the 8 other men who all look quite jealous of Sid. And maybe it does feel nice to get your nose patted. "Yes, you may also pet me," you sigh, allowing the others to come forward and throw themselves onto you. 

...

thank you so so much for reading my ridiculous crossovers! I have so much fun writing them and sometimes i'm tempted to make them entire stories of their own