multifandom oneshots/preferences

xlii. critters--joey jordison (slipknot)

One of the best parts about working at a pet store is that you can open up cages and play with snakes and lizards all day. 

Your favorite animals in the store are a sailfin lizard that's so beloved by the employees that he is not for sale, and a black-eyed all white ball python, who unfortunately is for sale. You would buy him immediately if he weren't $800 and if you didn't need to buy groceries. 

You adore all reptiles, amphibians, bugs, all those critters. They're such underrated animals and you're so lucky that you can work with them all day. 

Joey Jordison, however, is uneasy about them. 

So he is not pleased when Corey, Paul, and Jim force him to go into a pet store that sells exclusively what he is only slightly afraid of. 

The reason for the Slipknot members coming to the pet store is that when Paul came in a few days earlier to check out a lizard his daughter wanted, he struck up a conversation with you and decided you'd be nice for Joey. 

"Come on, man, it's gonna be fun," Paul rests his hand on the drummer's shoulder as he leads him into the store. 

Joey disagrees. This is not how he wants to spend a Friday night.

It does not bode well that the first thing the men see when they walk in is the store's reticulated python in its giant glass terrarium poking its head out of its hide to observe them. 

"Whoa, what the fuck?" Joey tenses. 

Jim immediately starts to scope around, fascinated by all the animals around him. 

"Hey, welcome in!" you emerge from the back room and greet the men. 

"That's them," Paul taps Corey with the back of his hand. 

Corey is skeptical, considering you just walked out with a massive white snake around your neck and climbing about your shoulders...on second look, your Anthrax shirt, eyeliner, and Tripp pants make you look quite a lot like someone Joey would be interested in. 

"She can't get out of there, don't worry," you reassure the group. "We reinforced the glass after she broke the last one."

"What?" Joey raises an eyebrow. 

"I'm just kidding. She's just a bit curious," you approach them. "Do you have any questions?"

"Actually, yes," Paul grins. "What's a good beginner lizard for my kid?"

Jim and Corey have since started their rounds about the store, tapping the glass and messing around with the critters. Now Paul's off with you, so Joey is left alone to slowly navigate the place. 

...

"Hey, man, what's up with your friend over there?" you nod your head over toward a man with long black and red hair. 

"He's not a fan of reptiles and stuff, so we thought it would be good for him to face his fear," Paul replies. 

"That's why you came here twice in a week," you understand. 

"Yup."

"So are you going to get the lizard?"

"Oh, definitely," Paul assures. "I'm actually really excited, too!"

"Good. Now to fix him," you smile, looking over at Paul's friend. "His name is Joey?"

"Yeah, he's the drummer in our band."

Both the snake on your shoulders' and your heads perk up at the mention of a band. "What kind of band?"

"We play metal stuff, mostly, with some punk influence."