Home is wherever i'm with you

Let me love you when your heart is tired

Carina sat down on their bed. She winced as she pulled of her shoes. Her ankle was not feeling good at all, so she took her sock of aswell and just as she thought, it was a little swollen and started to turn blue. She sighed. "Maya?" She yelled. They had just come back from the clean up and ice cream adventures and now wanted to chill at home for a little. Kathrine was in the guest room and Andy went to pick up some things from Sullivans flat. "Yes?" Maya yelled. She was in the kitchen getting some wine for the both of them. "Can you get me an ice pack, please?" Carina said, she moved her foot in slight circular motions but stopped. "Ah." She groand slightly. "Whats wrong?" Maya asked, leaning in the doorway. "I think i hurt my foot. And i've been preaching to you to not hide injuries and so i am being a good role modle. This hurts." "Oh. I'm sorry. It happend when we were tussling eachother around, didn't it?" "Yeah. It wasn't to bad in the first place and i thought it would go away. But it didn't, it got worse everytime i stepped on it." "Oh my love. I'm sorry." Maya kneeled down next to Carina and examined the foot carefully. She move it slightly and Carina winced. Maya qickly went back into the kitchen, got the ice pack out of the fridge and brougt it to her wife. "Thank you." "Do you need some pain killers?" Maya asked while she got the wine glasses. "No. For now i'm fine. The cold is really good, but i'll see later. Come cuddle me." "I will, but i want to change first." Maya said and quickly changed into pyjamas. "Pyjamas? Its only 4:30 pm." Carina said. Maya smiled. "I don't intend to leave this room today again." "Oh." Carina lifted her eyebrows. Maya threw PJs to her. "Thank you." Carina said and got changed aswell, trying not to stepp on her foot. She scooted up to lean against the head board. Maya proped Carinas foot on a pillow and then joined her cuddeling into her side. "Are you really okay?" Maya asked. Carina smiled. "It hurts, but its okay." "We will go to the ER, if its not better in the morning." Maya stated. Carina noded. "Or i can just call Teddy to take a look." "Okay. Fine." Maya agreed, Teddy Altmann being a Traumasurgeon and Carinas friend. "I am really looking forward to seeing her anyway. You know now that i'm married. I have to tell her and Amelia everything." "I'm so sorry, your friends couldn't be there." Maya said sadly. "Its okay. It was still really great and we will celebrate with them when we can again." "Definatly." Maya smiled. They sat a while in silence. "How do you feel?" Carina asked. "Oh. Now beginns the talking, hm?" Maya said. Carina frowned. "I am not going to push you. But i would really like to know how this affects you, so a can be there for you." Carina said. Maya took a deep breath. "Yes. Thank you. Okay. I feel overwhelmed... I think this is a lot and it is not a good feeling being demoted. But i will try to figure out the underlying emotions." "Okay." Carina said, drawing patterns on Mayas Arm. "Okay. So for one i am angry. I am angry that the chief decided that, i am angry that the system is so sexist and i am angry that this all happened in the first place, you know it is not my fault no aidcar was available. I am angry that insted of seeing this incident and thinking, hm maybe we need more aid cars, they focus on the fact that i tryed to save that boy, with the limited recources i had. Oh and they are already talking about budget cuts. So i am angry. Okay. What else, i feel guilty. I am guilty for having ruined our wedding. It should have been our special day but my mood dinged the situation and that makes me guilty because it was your special day, too. And i am guilty, because Andy got transfered." "Maybe try to say. That makes me feel guilty, that makes me feel angry. I don't know, but for one you aren't guilty of Andys transfer. Its not your fault. But you feel guilty, because she stepped in to help you. Maybe that helps you distance yourself from the emotions." "Okay. Allright. I feel guilty. Andy grew up at 19. We are her family. 23 is a frat house. They are the worst of the worst. We make fun of them. So yeah that. Then i feel guilty for not reaching my goals. I had this plan for myself. If i work hard enough, i can do everything and that made me go in the opposite direction, so my childself is screeming at me, because i lost and i can't loose." Tears started to form in Mayas eyes. "Rationaly i know, i don't life with my dad anymore, but everything in me feels like a looser and like i failed. I don't like this feeling. Loosing ment no love from my dad. Silent treatment, food restricitions, yelling and breaking dishes. So i think a part of me is also scared." "Oh Bambina." Carina held her tighter. Maya was now full on crying. "I am kind off waiting for the shoe to drop. I am hanging in this uncertanty and i am waiting for the punishment of my loss." "You are safe, bambina. There is no punishment. You can rest." Maya sobed. She tryed to speak more, but she couldn't. "Its okay. Let me hold you. We can talk more later. Just let it out." Maya kind of calmed down. "I am also very tired." She said. "We didn't get much sleep and everything was exhausting. So maybe we can watch a movie and then go to bed early." Carina nodded. "Can i say something first?"  Maya nodded. "Thank you for telling me. I love you and you are safe, no punishment. I think loosing your job is unnecissary punishment enough. Also, i had the best day yesterday. The wedding was fantastico. You didn't ruin anything. I love you and i got to marry you. That is enough. Now give me a kiss." Maya kissed her and Carina pulled her close for i really tight hug. "I love you." Maya said.

They watched a Disney movie and just enjoyed liing in eachothers arms. When the movie was over, they decided to order takeout and Maya got up to ask Andy and her Mom, if they wanted something. They did and so Maya order Chinese for all of them and set the table.
She helped Carina up, who tryed to step on her right foot, but immediatly lost all colour in her face. "Okay. Don't do that." Maya said as Carina leaned on her, her face burried in the neck of the blonde. "Maybe we should go to the ER tonight?" Maya suggested. "No. Its okay, i just need a minute. We'll see about it tomorrow morning. Can you help me to the kitchen?" "Sure. But we will get a new ice pack and you take some painkillers with the food, i don't like you being in pain." "Okay." Carina nodded. Maya guided her to a chair and got her the respective goods. "Here you go. I honestly don't understand how you were able to walk on that foot, all the way back to the car." "Well, it didn't feel great, but it was fine."
Andy came over and Kathrine followed shortly after. "Hey, Carina. Did you hurt yourself?" Kathrine said. Carina smiled at her. "Its okay, i must have sickled my foot when we fell over eachother." Andy looked confused. She hadn't been at the clean up. "We were really stupid, when we were walking to get ice cream and we ran into eachother, which was bound to happen and Carina must have twisted her ankle." Maya explained. "Oh dear." Mayas Mum said. Carina shook her head. "Its okay. I am working with Maya on beeing honest, when you are sick or hurt, so yes it hurts and i can not step on it right now, but i will see how it is in the morning and then maybe ask a friend to take a look at it." Maya steped behind Carina and gave her a kiss. "Lets start to eat." Maya said as she sat down.
"Carina, you are a doctor aren't you?" Kathrine asked. "I am. I am an OBGYN and i also worked in Trauma for a bid, i am trauma certified. So i could work in an ER, but i like OB better." She smiled. "Maya told me you are an Home ec teacher." "Was." Kathrine said sadly. Maya looked confused. "Maya, sweety i am so sorry. But your when the pandemic hit, your father got way worse and some cruel part of me still loved him. I wanted to keep him save. So i went back to him. I know now that was wrong, but yeah, i can't change the past." "Its okay mom, you are here now. What happend?" "Well for starters he didn't believe the pandemic was real." "Oh no." Andy said. "Yeah, he was all. This is all fake, the government is trying to controll us and vaccines are microchiped. But that wasn't the worst. Everytime someone in the news said something about social distancing and schools closing and vaccines, he got really angry. He trew with plates, he hit the walls, to the point of holes in then. He never hit me, but when he threw things he didn't pay attention to were i was standing either." "I am so sorry, mum." Maya was deeply shook. "He even made me quit my job. Because i was a teacher and teachers are just the government puppets to corrupt the youth." "Oh porca miseria." Carina yelled silently. "Yeah. It was awefull. I mean schools were closed anyway, but i love to do online school. Be creative with the kids. I did one on one cooking courses and gave them taks. I mean what subject is better for homeschooling than home ec." Her eyes lit up as she mentioned her teachings. "I would have loved to have a teacher like you." Andy said. "I never had home ec and i don't still mess up the washing atleast twice a month. I was in a sience school." "I had home ec and i still burn my fingers everytime i cook something." "Yeah, i am not proud of that." Kathrine said and laughed. "Mum. Ouch. But fair. But thats why i married Carina." Maya laughed aswell. Carina slapped her arm. "Hey. You only married me for my cooking. Are we in 1950?" "Oh no. In 1950 we wouldn't be married and you also have lot of other skills." Maya said smuggly. Carina opened her mouth in shock. "Your mom is here." Andy laughed loudly. "I ment.. bringing babys in the world. I didn't know what your thought i though." Maya sad unconvincingly. All of them had a good laugh and struggled to stop.