Home is wherever i'm with you

Like a floating ball, thats bound to break

Waiting for Ellies surgery to end was torture. Maya and Carina decided to sit with their other girls and hold their little hands, but not letting go of eachothers. Their nerves were streched thin. "I would so like to spend more time here." Maya broke the silence. "I keep thinking, i could just i don't know hurt my hand and then i'll be off for a while and could stay with you here." "Don't say that. I don't want you getting injured." "Yeah. Its stupid, it wouldn't have changed anything. I mean i couldn't change it beeing here or there, that Ellies brain is bleeding. I just wish i could keep her safe." Maya said, guilt eating through her. "I understand what you mean. It is not our fault, but i still feel the crazy guilt. They should still be in my womb, where they are safe. I mean, they were born way to early. My doctors brain knows that these things happen and it was just time, but my mom brain thinks, i could have done more to keep them in or less or i don't know. I get it." Maya nodded. "I am sorry." Carina said. "No. Don't be. None of this is any of our fault." Maya said. "Yeah." Carina said. "And please don't injure yourself. With our luck you'll end up in the ICU." "Or they'll place me on desk duty. With being on calls the time atleast runs fast."

"She is stable and we could stop the hemorage." Amelia said as a nurse pushed Ellie into the NICU room. "Oh thank god." Maya said und hugged Carina tightly. Carina started to cry. "I was so scared." Maya just nodded and caresed her back.

Winter was over and spring was here. Carina has already desided to take a research year. It makes it possible for her to work from home, after her maternity leave. She only has to update the hospital on her research every few months. But as long as she reads a few articles and finds a few interessting prompts, she is good to go. Maya also has parental leave. But they decided she'll take it once the girls are home.

The week after their original due date Meena and Louise had their car seat test. That basicly ment they were put in carseats and watched for a certain amount of time. The two girls had grown so much and were really active little humans. Ellie was still wearing a nasal canula and ng tube, she was still much smaler then the other two and she didn't move as much. The Doctors however weren't worried. She had a rough start and she could still catch up. Meena and Louise aced their car seat tests and got to go home that day. It made Carina and Maya increadably happy. But it didn't change much to their routine, exept the sleepless nights. Carina would take the girls to see their sister most days. Read them books and just sit with their sister. She would also let them play on a little blanket on the floor, but still in the NICU-room. On days Maya was off, Carina took the girls on walks and Maya sat with Ellie or they sat with Ellie all together.

It was the middle of May, Carina had waited for Maya to get home. Maya had texted her that she would be late, so Carina had decided to let the girls play at home for a while then go on a walk with them to get them to sleep, when Maya was home and then head to the hospital with all of them. While the girls played Carina preped some food for the next week. She found it helpfull to prep easy food like salats and pasta and couscous in bigger bulks. She put it in mason jars and whenever one of them needed food quickly they could just take one or take on on the go.

Maya wasn't very tired when she came home, just dirty and soothy. They had barely any calls last night just a few Aid Car and a small kitchen fire, but in the morning they were called to a burning shed. It had Hay stored and so the wooden shed with the dry hay went up in flames like nothing. It took them a while to get the fire out, eventually they just let it burn down. They worked through overhall and when they came back B-Shift was already there to take over, so Maya decided to shower at home. "Hey. Oh Bambina you are..." "I know, i didn't shower yet. We had a long call and i just wanted to get home to you. So i am going to shower now." "Please." Carina said with a smile. She stroked the sweaty and dirty fly aways out of Mayas face and gave her a tiny kiss on the lips. "You get more once you are clean." Carina said.