Fallen Into My Hero Academia! - Free Fall (Hawks Love Story)

Mother / Closed Off

(A/N: I don't own the pics, but I gotta say, it sucks having toxic people in your life and you don't have the courage to leave because you love them too much-)

~Let You Down - NF~

I still felt the dread and anxiety as I opened my eyes, finding myself standing in my old home in Baldwin Park. I was in front of my old bed, which was pressed against the wall under the window in the living room, the small apartment only having two bedrooms for my mom and eldest sister like how it was in my childhood home. I saw that I didn't have to search for my mother - she was sitting in front of me on our hand-me-down couch left by the former tenants, and her presence made my anxiety worsen and heart race. She was looking at me with a blank expression, similarly to Rochelle's when I dreamt with her. Despite my fear, I took a deep breath and attempted to smile at her. "Hi, Mama." I greeted weakly.

Mom's eyes narrowed as she frowned and furrowed her eyebrows at me, almost in a scowl. "What happened to you after you died? Are you in a better place?" She questioned, and I took another breath, brushing off the fact that she didn't greet me warmly like how Dad, Nichole, Raymond and Gianni did. 'This is how she always is when she's upset about something. You're used to it - don't let it affect you.' I reminded myself. "Yeah, I'm fine. I was sent somewhere else, and I have a new life where I can help a lot of people." I replied, but she scoffed. "You should have been helping me and your family a long time ago." She told me harshly, and her words jabbed at my heart, making me look at her in pain. "Mom, I told you time and time again that I had depression and was still mourning Dad. I did the best I could in the state that I was in! I could have helped you guys more if anyone motivated me or helped me to get treatment, but no one was there for me! In my new life, there's at least people that are willing to help me!" I said, my voice growing louder in my pain and frustration.

I slightly flinched when she suddenly stood and faced me in anger. I was afraid she was going to hit me, but I stood my ground, reminding myself that it was just a dream and she couldn't actually hurt me. "So you're blaming us now?!" Mom demanded, yelling at me, but I threw my hands up at my sides, getting desperate and angry from wanting her to get her head out of her ass. "No, I'm blaming you! You're my mother and I gave you so many signs that I was suffering, but you just gave up on me, brushing me off as a lazy, ungrateful brat! You put me down so much before you just discarded me like I wasn't even your daughter, like I didn't matter anymore!" I exclaimed, tears falling from my eyes as my chest burned in pain and trauma. I hated yelling. I didn't want to yell at her like how she used to with Dad, but I couldn't help it, the same way I couldn't help crying about it. "I loved you so much and I tolerated your bullshit because you're my mother and the only parent I had left, but I wish things had been better between us." I continued, sobbing as my hands fell to my sides, though I lifted them back up to try and wipe away my tears since they were blurring my vision.

I took a deep breath to try and calm myself, but I was stuck on the verge of breaking down. When I looked back at my mother, she was still angry, but there was a glint of pain and tears dotting her eyes like she was hurting from my words and pain. I didn't let it phase me, though - every time she would try and apologize, she'd only hurt me again later. This will be the last time she'll do that to me. Even as I tried to accept that, she was still my mother, and will always have a place in my heart no matter how much she's hurt me. With one last deep breath, I spoke up again. "I wish you the best in your future, Mom. Please, don't take your anger out on my siblings, nephew, and my new niece or nephew that Raymond and Reyna will have while I'm gone, like how you did to me. Goodbye, and I love you." I told her, choking up at the end. As the dream faded away, I saw my mom glare at me. "Shut the hell up, Esperanza." She snapped at me, those being the last things I heard, and she broke my heart again.