91st chapter

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Sebastian's point of view:

I woke up when the guards threw my breakfast through the barred window. I got up and collected everything.

Fucking assholes, I thought to myself as I cleaned my toast from the dirt on the floor.

I looked towards the steel door. It had only a small window through which food could be passed to me. Registering as an Animagus was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. Otherwise I would have ended up in a cell with a regular barred door that I could have escaped through.

My face hurt as I opened my mouth to eat my dry bread. A large wound on my cheek was infected and suppurating.

I was getting cold. As the dementors made their rounds, I held my hand towards the door and whispered "Expecto Patronum". A faint cone of light protected me from their effects. I'd mastered wandless magic before I was imprisoned, and while I wasn't particularly good at it, the effects were enough to keep me sane.

I didn't realize how much time had passed. But it's definitely been five years. I don't know it. At some point I stopped counting.

Whenever I asked a guard what date we were on, I was laughed at and commented, "You don't care Sallow, you're staying with us for a while."

Many of the guards had a personal problem with me because they liked my uncle very much, so they take every opportunity to beat me up or otherwise torment me. At first I tried to ward them off, but it was no use. As soon as I covered my face to protect myself, they used Petrificus Totalus, and then I was really at their mercy.

After they attacked me like wild dogs, I used Episkey on my nose. I don't know how many times it was broken. I also don't remember how many times I had my broken teeth put back into my dentures.

I don't know why they give out prison sentences that aren't life sentences when they do their best not to let anyone go alive.

I ate my dirty toast and drank some water, conjuring some for myself when there was no one in the corridor.

Why has Ominis betrayed me? How was Anne? How did things go with Caelie and Garreth? I didn't know how they would react if I was standing in front of them sometime in many years. Would everything be the same as always? Did they remember me at all? Would they reject me because I didn't fit into their life anymore? Was Garreth able to open his bakery? Did they have children? Did they even still live in Marlee's house?

I thought about the others too. The Weasley children, by now, should probably all have finished their Hogwarts education, and presumably Ellie was at Hogwarts right now.

Hogwarts. I missed this place. But I missed my home even more. My home with the two people I missed the most in this dreary world.

I imagined myself being with them. I closed my eyes and imagined lying in bed. Caelie to my left, and Garreth to my right. I imagined myself touching and kissing them. I pictured them like it was yesterday. I could literally smell them, the idea lived so intensely in me. I stroked my forearm with my thumb .The little bit of unbroken skin there reminded me a little of the feel of Caelie's shoulder. 

I kept thinking. I could see them, we were all naked. I felt myself getting aroused by the thought of both of them. This time was probably the only time of the day when I felt anything like happiness. I slipped my hand into my pants and took hold of my penis.

I imagined it was Garreth's hand as Caelie kissed me. I sat in my jail cell masturbating. I really was a pathetic sucker. But it helped me pull myself together from day to day.

I transformed into my lynx form and lay down again when I was done. As a lynx, the cold, hard stone floor was bearable. Lunch was held for me in the cell by one of the few friendly guards. "Here Sallow. Take it," he said softly. "Thank you," I replied and started eating. It was some unflavoured porridge of some sort. At least it was filling.

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