ONLY YOU (BOOK 5)

Same bed differently experiences

Lizzie POV

I couldn't help myself but to lay awake next to Nora who fell asleep on the porch. She was crying in my arms continuously until she fell asleep from being so exhausted. I carried her upstairs and tugged her in not having the need to change her into some Pyjamas because she already wore hers.

I got myself ready to sleep next to her and I kept an eye on her every now and then seeing that she is not moving an inch of her body. She is knocked out.

After I did my night routine I slid under my blanket and scotched a bit closer to Nora because I didn't want her to feel alone while she's asleep and I wanted to feel her warmth.

I watched her features and stroked a hair strain out of her face and behind her ear. She has such a delicate face with those freckles spread around her nose and cheek bones.

I want nothing more than to take her pain away so she can feel better. Or at least a part of it so she can be a bit more at ease. I can't imagine how it must feel to raise twins on your own and especially when her kids are from someone she hates to the core.

„I will keep you safe. Whatever it takes. I hate to see you hurt because sometimes I feel like I am not helping you even though I want to. I will always be beside you. No matter what. No matter how ugly things might get. I don't care. I will stick beside you on your joyful and tearful days." I whispered to her as I had my head resting on my pillow.

„I know we haven't said it yet and I might be a coward for doing it this way because y'know you are asleep and you can't really reply. But I want to say it in this way first, because I am honestly terrified to say it while you are awake. I don't even know why. Maybe this will take a way some of my fear and I'll be able to say it to you one day while you are awake. But I feel like we proved our love for one another with the actions we did.
Even though actions say more than a thousand words... I want you to know... that I love you."
I added as I sniffed my nose from crying.

„Nora Margot Lewis I fucking love you."
I told her as I kissed her on her head.

Nora POV

A hand slid down my spine, giving me shivers that cause me to flinch. I turned around and I was back in my old apartment.

„How does it feel? To be haunted in your dreams?"
Victor asked me and I tried to step back but I couldn't. Like I usually always do, I froze on the spot and I am stuck.

„What cat stole your tongue? I used to know a Nora that always had to say something. But I love your silence that is screaming for help."

He stepped closer and grabbed my face to push my head aside. Harsh kisses surrounded my neck and they felt like needles penetrating my skin. The way his hands groped my body. Every touch made me want to physically throw up. Every hand slide down my back or around my breasts made me want to punch him so hard that he will lose a tooth.

„I might be dead. But I will always be here." he tapped on my head signing me that he will always creep in my mind. In the darkest shadows he will be waiting to be unleashed.

Every night he has the chance to do so. But I don't want to. I don't have the power over it. I don't have the control.

„It was honestly luck that you were able to kill me. The father of our children. What type of mother does this? A psychotic bitch.  A monster that is not worthy of being loved. You are miserable. I really loved you y'know. Back in our college days I couldn't get enough of you. But you simply didn't let me have you. You denied it so often."
He started to undress me and I am still standing here as If I was glued to the ground and as if my hands were cuffed.

„Look at yourself. How fucking hot you look.
A psychotic hot bitch." the scene changed with an blink of an eye and now we have my old wall mirror in front of me. I was half naked. He stood behind me. One of his hands on my breath the other sliding from my thigh to my waist and around my stomach.

With every inch he is touching there is a new bruise appearing. A new scar. A new scratch.
A new mark that won't be erased.
Never.

As I tried to get out of his touch I felt how his hand slid to my throat to choke me. I opened my eyes and saw myself now naked. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

And with that I've come out of this fucking nightmare. I shot out of the deep sleep I was trapped in and sat up straight while having my left hand gripped on the sheet and my other was gripping the collar of my shirt.

„Love are you awake?" Lizzie mumbled as I pulled her out of her deep sleep.

„I- it's okay. Just sleep love." I stroked over her thigh and squeezed it lightly not wanting her to wake up completely. It's enough that put some of my weight on her shoulders. I don't want to rob her sleep as well.

„I luv you." she added in a sleepy voice and I placed my hand in front of my mouth to keep myself from sobbing. Or else I will really wake her up.

I tip toed myself to the bathroom and got rid of my clothes to jump into the shower. People usually shower cold because they want to improve their immune system. But I only do it because I need my body heat to calm down. I woke up drenched in sweat and this nightmare made me relive things that I've been desperately trying to forget.

I sat there on the shower ground and let the water fall down on me for as long as I need to so that I can calm down. I always did this whenever I dreamed like this. This is a thing that usually calms me down when I am on my own and when I don't have anyone who can help me. I know Lizzie could help me. But she needs to sleep.

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