Leah and her soldier

Chris' struggle

When I was asleep I heard every word that was spoken I tried my hardest to open my eyes but I couldn't. So I just lay there listening, I listened to the doctors telling my captain I would never pass another fitness test again so basically that was the end of my career. Actually no basically it was the end what am I going to do now? The army is all I've ever known. I hear Leah talking to me everyday telling me what everyone has been up to. I've never told her I could hear though I think it sounds a little creepy. When I woke up Leah was still by my side where she had been for 3 days 24 hours a day since she had been allowed to leave the colony, andddd did she just say she wants me to be her girlfriend? You know what happens after that, Leah gets the doctor and he comes in to tell me that I have a metal plate in my knee that's screwed to the shattered parts on my knee cap holding it together. Multiple muscle and ligament damage including tears and ruptures. I had a bullet removed from arm and chest I have a long and painful road ahead. Leah tries to stay with me again but I tell her to go home and rest she keeps declining but I ask her to bring me some stuff in and tell her if she doesn't go home for a good nights sleep then I will get the doctors to stop her from coming to see me. I could never do that but I needed some time and space to process what had just happened. I love Leah I really do but I know that every time I go to think she is ask me what I'm thinking about and I just need quiet. As soon as everyone leaves I just cry I feel so lost, I don't get much sleep my thoughts just don't stop. When Leah comes the next morning she brings Amanda I asked Leah if we can keep the visitors to just her and Amanda she agrees. Me and Amanda get along really well and along with Leah she helps keep me sane, the girls keep asking to visit me but I don't want them to see me like this hell I don't want Leah to see me like this but as my girlfriend I have no say in that one.

After a further 3 weeks in hospital I am allowed to go home. Leah told me I was staying at her house but I hadn't even seen my flat yet which is apparently like a penthouse. I suggested I just stay at my flat because I wouldn't be able to manage the stairs. That is true but I also don't want to be a burden on anyone I could manage by myself. I'm allowed to go to my flat on the condition Leah stays with me and Amanda visits as much as she can. I agree it's strange to start off with I've never lived with anyone before I struggled at first and not because I didn't want Leah around but because I didn't want her to see me in pain and I'm in a lot of pain. But she has held my hand through everything, she has held me whilst I cried with no judgement at all just compassion. And the biggest thing of all that I struggled with was Leah having to sleep on my left side she always sleeps on my right. But she is my rock and I'm head over heels in love with her mind you I still wish she would get changed in a different room because Jesus no matter how much pain I'm in still want her, but she says if she has to help me in the shower then I can bare to watch her change. ERM WRONG!! It kills me every time.

Amanda comes around most days and I get excited to see her. It's everything I imagined having a mother was like. It makes me miss my foster mum, I've asked Emily to help me try and find her. Emily another rock of mine her and Leah get on so well and my flat looks amazing and yes it is like a penthouse. Samantha and Emily have claimed my spare room when they stay over. I am the luckiest person on this planet. The army have offered me to become a trainer for them and I have been told to think about it. I have thought about it and I think I will turn it down and take medical discharge. I think I might start my own security company not many people know this but my dad was a CEO of a major insurance firm, so when he died there was a massive payout from his life insurance plus his pension and was put into a bank account for me when I turned 21. I've never touched it I used my wages from the army to pay for this place and for anything else I needed. So I currently have over 4 million sitting in a bank account, I guess that's what happens when you work for a big company for 30 years. They wanted to make sure I was looked after and boy did they do that. I haven't spoke to anyone about this before but I think when I'm close to being recovered I will tell Emily and Leah the plans but I will tell them about not taking the trainer position at the army tonight.

Leah is on her second day of training she doesn't want to go but she has to. She has to start getting back into normal life, back to her routine. I give her a kiss and she heads out, I get my puzzle books out that Amanda got me. I need to try and start staying awake through out the day but it doesn't take long for me to get tired. Amanda is coming to see me again today but first I need to use the toilet wash my face and brush my teeth. This is going to be fun, I manage to get myself into my chair that was a challenge in itself. I get through to the bathroom Jesus I'm tired. Right Chris you can do this I use the toilet then try and get to the sink but because my leg is up on the rest. Right I need stand up, shit this is going to suck. But I do it I wash my face and brush my teeth then get back in my chair and go back to the bedroom. I need to get back onto the bed but my energy is basically non existent at this point. I take a minute then prepare myself as I stand up I lose my balance, shit I fall forward "ahhh fuck" I can't get up. Phone where is my phone? Bollocks it's in the middle of the bed. I lie on the floor until Amanda comes "Chris sweetheart it's me" "Amanda I need help please" she comes into
The bedroom "omg Chris are you alright?" "Yeah I lost my balance and fell" "how long you been here for?" "I don't know what time is it?" "Just after 11" "oh about 2 and a half hours" "why didn't you phone someone?" "My phones on the bed I couldn't reach it" "are you hurt?" "Just my pride" "that's alright then come on let's get you up" "thank you so much." Amanda helps me off the floor and back onto the bed "how you feeling?" "Truthfully exhausted" "what were you doing?" "I needed the toilet then to wash my face and brush my teeth" "right so how about you have a sleep and I will wake you up in a couple of hours" "normally I would argue with you but I have no energy to." I fall asleep quickly, I have no idea how long I was asleep for before being woke up to Leah shouting "SHE WHAT?!" She comes in the bedroom "hi baby how was training?" "You fell?" "Ermmmm nooooo" "don't you lie to me miss Taylor did you fall today?" "Oooo miss Taylor I like it" "Chris I'm being serious" "alright yes I fell but it's not like I could fucking ring you my phone was on the bed in the middle" "did you hurt yourself!" "Just my pride" "what were you doing?" "I needed the toilet and just lost my balance getting back on the bed that's all" I say that's all like it's not the most embarrassing thing to ever happen. "Well I'm glad you never hurt yourself" "I didn't now will you tell me how training was?" "A little easier than yesterday" "and it will get easier everyday I promise now where is my kiss?" Leah kisses me and I pull her in further "uh hum" "shit sorry Amanda" "it's fine so what time is Emily coming around for this announcement?" "She finishes work in 25 minutes so in about 45 minutes" "what's this announcement about?" "You's will all find out at the same time."

Emily arrives "hi everyone" "hi emz we are still in the bedroom" she comes in "didn't think you'd would be anywhere else. So care to tell us what's going on?" "Yeah so erm right ok" "Chris what's going on?" "I'm taking medical discharge from the army. I'm not going back to train new soldiers" everyone sits there in silence "can someone say something please?" "Are you sure this is what you want to do Chris? The army is all you've ever known" "exactly but I can find something else it's not like I don't have time to figure it out" I say pointing to my knee "baby please say something" "why didn't you talk to me about it?" "Because this is something I had to do by myself it's good for us thou because I won't have to go away for months. Baby I need to do this if I don't it will bring me down training people to do the job I loved to do" "well I'm not going to lie sweetheart it will be nice having you around" "thanks Amanda, Leah?" "I agree I think you have made the best decision for you" "thank you all of you" "now I've got a very important to ask you all" "ermmm right go ahead" "what are we ordering for tea?" I have to laugh "typical emz always thinking of her stomach" "what I worked through lunch I'm thinking pizza" "ooo yeah I love pizza" I roll my eyes "we know you do baby." We spend the rest of the night laughing and eating.