Stumbling through the dark

Just A Few More Feet

TRIGGER WARNINGS APPLY!

Niall knew it was stupid to run off like he did and he was sure the other lads would be going frantic, but he really needed to be completely alone to think things through. He'd really messed up the show and having fans boo him really hurt. He wanted to cover up his illness but he had to come clean and tell the fans. They deserved to know. And he had to tell his parents. What was he going to say? He hated this so much. He didn't want to live like this but he either had to or take the other path. Could he do that to his family, the lads and the fans. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

It was peaceful on the rooftop and Niall felt that he could see forever up there. The sun was going down and the sky was pink and golden. It was so peaceful, even the song of the traffic below was muted. He moved closer to the edge and peered over . The cars below looked so small that they looked like childs toys. Niall smiled at the thought, thinking how some things loomed so large and others were insignificant. His smile faded. That was it, he was insignificant. If he left, people would miss him for a time  but they'd move on. He didn't really matter that much in the scheme of things. He sat down on the low balustrade and watched as the sun finally dipped down and it became twilight.

Meanwhile the lads and security were going frantic in the search for Niall. Liam had phoned Zayn to see if he had heard but Zayn said he'd not seen Niall that day. The bodyguards were systematically  going through the building room by room whilst the studio  team watched the playbacks of the  security cameras. Harry bounced with impatience as he watched with them. Finally one showed Niall leaving the dressing room and heading through a door that was opposite. "Where does that lead to?" he asked quickly. On being told it was the way to the stairwell that lead to the roof, Harry raced out . His heart was pounding in his chest. No, no, no   was his only thought.

Harry burst through the door that lead onto the flat roof , his breathing ragged. He blew out air in relief when he saw Niall sat on the balustrade, gazing out over the city. Niall turned at the sound of Harry's arrival  but made no move to get up from his perch. Harry paused, trying to get his breathing under control. He eyed Niall carefully to see if he could assess his mood. Had Niall come here to take his own life? Was it to be the third and very final time? Harry was petrified. He didn't know if he should walk over to Niall or stay where he was. Would he push Niall into jumping if he got to close? But if I'm close, he thought, I have a chance of grabbing him. Harry felt himself shaking as he continued to look at his bandmate.

"Hey Nialler, we've been looking for you, mate" he finally said quietly. "They are turning the building upside down hunting for you".

"I'm sorry, I just needed to be really alone. I messed up and I wanted to find somewhere to think. It's beautiful up here. Makes me realise how insignificant I am" Niall's voice was equally quiet.

"I'll call off the search then, is that OK?" Harry asked carefully. He got a nod of assent from Niall and quickly sent out a group text to let the others know he was with Niall and they were on the roof. He prayed they wouldn't come rushing up and spook Niall. Harry still didn't know what Niall was intending to do. He seemed calm but then Harry had read somewhere that once some people had decided on suicide, they became calm and almost happy. Was it this way with Niall? He inched closer when Niall turned his head back to the view he had been studying before Harry's arrival. If he could just get a bit closer.

"Look how tiny everything is. The cars look like toys" Niall leaned over a bit further and Harry's heart leapt into his mouth. "Even the people look like ants" Niall giggled . Harry slowly moved forward. Just a few more feet or so and he'd be there. Both he and Niall could hear the heavy pounding of feet on the stairs and Harry's  face blanched white. What if this went wrong and it pushed Niall?  He heard   Niall sigh heavily and then begin  to stand up, he wobbling  dangerously. Harry screamed  and stretched out his arms as Niall began to tumble.