Stumbling through the dark

Niall, Did You Hear Me? Did You Understand?

Niall drew the air into his protesting lungs, wheezing slightly. The two doctors looked down at him as he shuddered slightly.

"Most people react after we give them their test results, Niall" James said  "not before. Take a few more deep breaths for me. Blue is a pretty color , but not when it's the color of your lips. How do you feel now?"

"Nervous" Niall whispered "Scared"

"Understandable" James said as he sat down on the side of Niall's bed and pulled out the scan pictures. Niall eyed them , chewing his lip nervously. The other doctor stood next to James, arms folded, face serious. It made Niall feel even more shaky. "Here is the 'before' scan, if you like. See the white areas?" James indicated them with his pen. Niall nodded jerkily. "And this is the 'after' scan. You can see that the white area has shrunk to just a very tiny trace, here" James indicated the minute white area with  his pen ". The stem cell treatment has worked enough to improve your condition but not enough to say we've  totally cured it." Niall nodded gloomily. It was what he had been afraid off.  "Now Niall, that's not the end. Let Doctor Corder explain." Niall fixed his eyes on the other doctor as he began to speak.

"Niall, the stem cell transplant was very effective but, as we explained to you before treatment started , adults often need a double transplant. The problem we have is that, due to your wife's fertility problems and age,  combined with the major dose of chemo you had recently,it is highly unlikely that you be able to conceive another child . Your daughter, Aoife, volunteered to be tested to see if she could donate but, again unfortunately, she isn't an ideal match. We could try it at a pinch but it would likely not be successful. Our only other alternative is if we can find a volunteer donor who fits the bills completely or even , like Aoife, not quite ideal, but close. There is some idea that if we can get two donors who only half fit the bill, we can combine the cells in the laboratory to 'engineer' the perfect donation. (A/N the stem cell treatment is real, the 'engineering the perfect donation is pure fiction).

The plus side of all this is that we have bought you time. That and some excellent medication, should help keep you healthier for some time. There will be limitations but they will be nothing new. Eat healthily, avoid getting over tired, limit stress and generally be sensible. We can search the donor register for a match or a close match. We're not giving up Niall, not by a long shot. So don't you give up, either" Doctor Corder  patted Niall's shoulder and left, leaving just James in the room.

"What are the chances of finding a donor?" Niall asked, disappointment flooding his face.

"A perfect match? I honestly don't know. A close match? Much better. Look, leave me to do the worrying. Jacey is bursting to get in here with your son. And I'm sure you'll be flooded with visitors now you've been cleared to allow them. Just don't get overtired. A few more days and you'll be up and out of here" James walked to the door and opened it. "He's all yours, Jacey" he called out and left laughing gently as Jacey rushed by him, the baby clutched in her arms.

"Hey Babes" Niall greeted her as he wrapped his arms tightly about the pair of them. "I final get to hold you. It killed me only seeing you through glass"

"Me too. But it was worth it, you're going to be a lot better now" Jacey said as she brushed tears from her face.

"J, it didn't work...well not completely" Niall spoke despondently.

"Ni, it may not have been a miracle cure but it's still a miracle. You are better and there are more options available. I'm not giving up and neither should you." Niall smiled at her, a bit half heartedly at first then his smile increased.

"We got our own little miracle here, anyway" he said as he took little Louis into his own arms and cooed down at him. "wow he's heavier..and bigger!"

"Babies grow, Ni. And we're so excited to have you home soon. James said a few more days and you'll be discharged. I can't wait"

"Me neither, babes. I just want to get home with you and this little munchkin. And see Aoife and Caiomhe too. I've missed you all." Niall 's face lit up at the prospect of being home with his wife and having all his family around him again. "Just a few more days. I am so done with this place." He snuggled into Jacey, sliding his hand under her shirt and gently rubbing the smooth , silky skin of her back.

"Behave yourself, Niall James Horan!" Jacey whisper yelled at him only to get a cheeky grin in response.

"Ok, but just until I get home" he winked then blushed red making Jacey crease up with laughter. The one thing she so adored about the man in front of her was his embarrassment at the most natural things, even after all this time.

The next few days dragged by despite Niall having an almost constant stream of visitors to entertain him. He was wandering around outside his room for a change of scenery when he saw James coming towards him with a  strained expression on his face. The moment James spotted him, he headed straight towards Niall.

"I'm sorry Niall, you're not going to be discharged tomorrow after all" James said and Niall's face fell and tears started to fill his eyes.

"But you said it was fine, I could go. Why can't I go?" Niall's voice cracked embarrassingly but he was too upset to really care.

"We've found a donor, Niall, an almost perfect match. Aoife has already been admitted for use to take her donation and the other donor will arrive very late tonight , We need to make sure you don't pick up any illnesses as your immune system still isn't fully up and running so you're going back into Isolation". Niall stood still and stared at james, his mouth hung open in shock "Niall, did you hear me? Did you understand? "