Stumbling through the dark

Yes, Louis. I Believe You Are.

By the time Niall had been taken down to the Imaging Unit, he was already very anxious and struggling to breath as his panic had triggered his asthma. The nurse looking after him immediately put him on oxygen in the hope that , when the sedation had fully kicked in, her patient would be stable enough to have the MRI done. Her hopes were granted and Niall  was finally breathing easily once more. The bed slid into the machine and the long process began, Niall actually falling asleep during it, much to everyones relief. Everyone was fond of the sweet Irishman and hated to see him distressed in any way.

Once the MRI was complete and Niall was sleeping off the effects of the sedation, Paul Taylor studied the imaging results, stroking his chin thoughtfully. After consulting his notes then recording his latest findings, he caught sight of Niall's contact details and  made up his mind. Picking up the phone, he called the emergency contact number which was answered after a few short rings.

"Hello, am I speaking with a Mr Louis Tomlinson?"

"Yeah, who wants me?" Louis asked in a tired voice. His little son had decided that sleeping wasn't something he wanted to do and had been crying for the last few hours.

"This is Paul Taylor, Niall Horan's Neurologist. We have met before" Paul said pleasantly.

"Is Ni OK? Has something happened? Oh God, what's wrong?" Louis was tripping over his words in his panic.

"Please don't alarm yourself. Niall is fine. I just have  a question or two  for you that Niall seems reluctant to answer. As you no doubt know, Niall wants to have the new MS treatment that is being trialed both here in the UK and also in the USA. He's undergoing tests now to see if it is going to benefit him but there are a few aspects that concern me. I am aware that this is rather unorthodox and borderline unprofessional, but I do want to help Niall and you are listed as his emergency contact" Paul ended and waited for Louis to reply.

"Does Niall know you planned to talk with me?" Louis asked warily " I don't like going behind his back."

"No, he doesn't" Paul admitted " and I know it is hardly the right thing to do but I really am anxious to help Niall. Look, how about I ask what I need to know. If you don't want to or feel any question is inappropriate, I will respect your decisions. But please consider it. I am not asking these questions lightly. The answers may be crucial to Niall's wellbeing".

"OK, you can ask but if I don't want to answer, then that's fine?" Louis confirmed.

"Completely Mr Tomlinson. As I said, I will respect your decisions.

"Fire away then, oh, and call me Louis. Mr Tomlinson makes me feel old".

"Louis, then." Paul said then "Right. As I said, Niall is undergoing some very comprehensive tests at the moment to see if he is physically up to the treatment he wants. If he is, then I shall be explaining to him exactly what it involves then he can make an educated choice as to whether to proceed with the treatment."

"Can I interrupt ?" Louis quickly said " The treatment, what does it involve?"

"Can we cover that later? I really need to have some information from you first. I take it you know Niall extremely well?"

"Yeah, he's one of my best mates. We've been through a lot together"

"Yes, Niall said you and your friends have been wonderfully supportive. He'll need plenty of that, especially if we go ahead with the proposed treatment. My issue is not Niall's physical health. That we can help him with . It's his mental strength that concerns me. I spoke to him yesterday and he told me that someone he had relied on for support had, to use his own words, become 'unavailable'. The withdrawal of support from this one person seems to have affected him quite severely. I was wondering if you could perhaps enlighten me?" Paul kept his tone conversational but he knew that a lot was riding on Louis' answer. "Louis?" he said after a few moments silence.

Louis sighed heavily. What was he supposed to do? What if his answer stopped Niall having the treatment he so desperately wanted? Could he do that to Niall? He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers, trying to quell the ache in his head.

"Louis?" Paul said again, quietly.

"How much to you know about our band? About One Direction?"

"Quite a bit, to be honest ,although  this is due to  my daughters being big fans." Paul confessed "Not my type of music normally".

"You know about Zayn leaving the band suddenly?"

"Ah yes. I believe I met him at a few of Niall's appointments. I know he was instrumental in saving Niall's life a few times, as were you"

"Yeah, well, Zayn was like Niall's big brother. He was...is...was...very protective over him. He was the first person Niall went to when he was told he had MS. Zayn flew over from the States to be with him. You also may know about the media finding out about Niall's suicide attempt?" Louis paused and Paul acknowledged that he had indeed heard about it.

"Didn't Zayn say that was false, that it was him that had attempted suicide?" Paul asked, dragging up from his memory , half remembered conversations his daughters had had about that interview.

"Yeah, he said that it was him not Niall. He wanted to protect Niall you see. But after that, he just cut himself off from us. He's changed all his contact numbers. It's been very hard on Niall, maybe too hard. I'm worried about him" Louis spoke quietly, his concern evident in his voice.

"And do you think Niall can go through some very complex and demanding treatment without support from Zayn? This is important , Louis. The treatment he'll need will be physically and mentally challenging. I don't want to put him through it if there is any doubt he'll come through it.' Paul's voice was sombre, equally concerned.

"Truthful answer? I just don't know. I do know that Me and the other lads won't let Niall down. He'll have our support every step of the way, for what it's worth" was Louis firm response."He's stubborn and determined though."

"Thank you, Louis. You've been very helpful. If we do decide to offer Niall the treatment, would you be able to attend the appointment when we explain what's involved? I think it would help. It will be a lot for Niall to take in and you may be able to help him remember information, maybe help with any questions you or he might have regarding the situation?".

"Ah, when would that be? I'm in the US at the moment. I've just become a father" Louis immediate started to worry. He'd promised Niall he'd support him but he couldn't suddenly fly home.

"Not for a time. We need to  study the test results first and Niall does need to get a little stronger. Perhaps one off the other young men could attend. And we can also arrange a Sykpe conference ? Then you can be involved without having to be there physically. Is that something we can consider?"

"Yeah, I'm on board for that. Look, I know Zayn's out of the picture but the rest of us, we're in for the long haul. He's our little brothers and we're going to be there for him."

"Yes, Louis. I believe you are"