Stumbling through the dark

The Choice Is All Yours

Niall curled up into a ball  as tight as he could as silent tears poured down his face. He stared at the blank wall  facing him, his thoughts churning over and over. Zayn. He wanted Zayn. Just to talk to. Someone who would understand. He didn't  register the click as the door of his room closed. Whether someone was with him in the room or not, he had never felt so alone in all his life. Niall felt his bedcovers pulled gently down then a brief, sharp jab of pain in his thigh. "Just something to help you relax and sleep" a quiet voice said. The covers were placed back over him and, inch by inch, the world slipped away and Niall fell into sleep.

Back at Louis' house, he was pacing the room in agitation as the others watched him. His face was flushed and he coughed harshly from time to time.

"Lou, mate, sit down. you're going to make yourself even more sick than you already are" Liam pleaded. "Look, you can't let this get to you, bro"

"But the lies, Li, the d*mned lies. It's bad enough the media doing this to me but why the h*ll is he attacking us? Why? He knows it isn't true so why the f*ck is he doing this?" Louis stopped his pacing long enough to glare at Liam. "He knows d*mn well he's spoken to us, even stayed with us. So why the lies now? Hasn't he thought about what this will do to Niall? "Louis flung himself down on the couch as a severe fit of coughing racked his body.

"Boobear, drink this....please?" Harry held out a mug of tea then passed Louis some pills. "Take these too. Calm down, this isn't helping any. We'll get this figured out. Simon is on our side remember. "

"Lads, I think he's still trying to protect Niall....and us. Remember both he and Ni told us that they were told to say nothing about him leaving the band. And you know Stephen suspects that Lou and Zayn were the two photographed at the airport. And don't forget the TV stunt he pulled to protect Ni from the media. I think he may be lying to make sure he continues that protection"

"Yeah? You think? Then why is he making us look like we pushed him out, that we don't care about him. He's basically telling the world we ignored him . Makes us look  like right dicks, doesn't it. And have you seen the other cr*p? Apparently I have Brianna shoved in a small rented house, with flat pack furniture I expect her to assemble herself! As if ! They are doing a real number on me and all Simon says is to act as if nothing is happening. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this sh*t!' Louis strode from the room , slamming the door behind him, leaving Harry and Liam to stare after him.

"This isn't good" Harry spoke even slower than normal. ""Do you really think that , Li?"

"I want to believe it. I just can't imagine Zayn stabbing us in the back after the five years we were all together. Yeah, I know the music wasn't his bag but we were kids when we started out. Our voices and personalities were still developing. We've been evolving as we've aged. I dunno, Hazz. I want to belief Zayn wouldn't diss us like that. And I hate to think he'd suddenly turn on Niall" Liam rubbed his temples as a headache threatened. "What time do we meet up with Si?"

Niall stirred fretfully in his sleep.He tossed and turned as his rest was dogged by nightmares.His thrashing about pulled on the tubes attached to his body and the warning beeps started. A nurse hurried into his room almost immediately and started to sooth the young man, reattaching the IV lines and checking that both respective  lines  that were  slowly dripping  blood  and fluids  into her patient, were now  secure. Satisfied all was well there, she  turned her attention to Niall's  breathing which sounded distressed.  The  nurse then placed an oxygen mask over his face, turned on the supply and deftly adjusted the flow. Satisfied that he was  again stable, she left to page the doctor on call that night.

"He seems settled enough now" the Doctor said " but I'd  like  him monitored. Would you get a nurse to sit with him? A junior one will be fine, I just want him  completely supervised.I spoke to Dr Miller earlier and he has some serious concerns regarding this young man." . The doctor scribbled some notes down on Niall's chart then, nodding to the nurse, left to continue his rounds, leaving the nurse to follow out his instructions.

Niall's eyes blinked slowly open and he reached up to pull the mask off his face. It was firmly replaced immediately and Niall looked into Dr Miller's face. "Leave it there, Niall. You'll feel better for it." He pulled up a chair and sat next to Niall. "Last night, when I asked you if you had been having any bouts of illness recently, you got rather upset. Is there something you need to tell me?" Niall looked at him, shaking his head before turning away. "Niall, I only want to help you. And I can't do that if you won't let me in. Would it help if I told you that nothing you say will shock me and you know I am bound to confidentiality"

"Ha!" Niall said weakly "Yeah, no such thing. Whatever I do or say will end up in the media. People always talk. I've nothing to tell you. Now, please I want to discharge myself"

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that , Niall" the doctor responded quietly "You need to stay with us a bit longer"

"You can't stop me from walking out of here" Niall said hotly

 "Actually Niall, in some cases I can. If I believe you might be a danger to yourself, I can keep you here against your will. And I believe you may be  a danger to yourself". Niall stared at him in abject horror

"No, you wouldn't do that?"

"Not only would I , Niall, I am going to. The choice is all yours. You can talk willingly  to me or  someone else and let us help or we can make alternative arrangements . What's it to be? I'll give you some time to think things over and we'll chat then"

Niall lay on his back , listening to the clicks of the machines at his bedside. Zayn! Zayn had promised he could always talk to him. He reached for his phone and pulled up his contacts. After a few brief rings Niall heard the following message:

This number has been terminated.