Stumbling through the dark

Flatline

"Niall has been taken to the ICU. I'm afraid there were complications during surgery and we almost lost him a few times. He is in extremely serious condition at present due to major blood loss and the strain on his heart. We'll do our best but I suggest you prepare yourselves. I'm sorry I can't give you better news". The surgeon looked at them compassionately. "We've done everything we can for him at present . I'm sorry it isn't more positive news".

"Can we go see him?" Jacey whispered, her face bone white with terror.

"Yes, but only two at a time please. I'll show you the way". He turned and they all followed him as he escorted them to the room where Niall was being nursed. Jacey and Aoife slowly went to stand by Niall's bed and bit back a gasp as she looked at her dad. He was surrounded by machines that beeped and clicked and had so many tubes and wires connected to him. Jacey felt her stomach drop as she recognised all the equipment. Niall wasn't even breathing for himself. She knew that he needed a miracle. By unspoken agreement, the two women left to allow Zayn, Louis and Liam to quickly see Niall.

The girls swopped back with the boys and sat in the hard plastic chairs near Niall's bed. Eventually Aoife fell asleep, worn out by the stress she had been under , Liam crept in and , scooping her gently up, carried her out of building to take her home. She never stirred, not even when they reached home and Taylor took her from his dad's arms and carried her off to bed, tucking her in warmly. "How's Uncle Ni?" Taylor asked hesitantly   as he studied his dad's exhausted face, when he returned to where his dad was waiting.

"Not good, Tay. We've been told to prepare ourselves. How the f.ck does anyone prepare themselves for losing someone?" Liam's voice cracked with emotion.

"I don't know, dad, but we just have to hang on" Taylor hugged his dad "You going back? I'll look after Aoife , Caoimhe and Louis. Just let me know..yeah?" Liam nodded and left to return to the hospital. He had so many thought swirling in his head that he wasn't sure if he was praying, begging for miracles or ....he just didn't know.

Niall felt himself floating in some weird black space, not knowing where he was , if he was awake or dreaming. He felt cold but hot at the same time.It was a strange sensation, he felt so tired, so exhausted. He just wanted to let go, to sleep forever and not have to wake up. HIs body hurt and he wanted the pain to stop. Some deep part of his mind knew that if he just let go then it would be over, the pain would stop and he could get the rest he needed. Why not? he thought to himself and felt himself go. The heart monitor flatlined.

"Stand clear" Niall's body arched as electricity shot through him

"No! No! You can't leave me. Don't go, Niall. Please" Niall registered a voice screaming at him. He knew that voice but who was it? Who didn't want him to leave? Why were they upset? .The voice pulled at him as he fought to remember. Pain, sharp, intense pain ripped through his body as it jerked then flopped. That voice, begging him to stay,

"Stand clear" A man's voice this time, sounding urgent. Pain, more pain. Niall screamed this time. Somebody stop torturing him. Pain. It stopped abruptly and his world went black again.

"We've got him back" the doctor said as the heart monitor resumed it's bleeping. "Well done, everyone". He checked all the machines carefully before turning to Jacey who was locked tightly in Zayn's comforting embrace. "It's like he's chosen to put up a fight for his life. I've never seen anything like it before. Try and get some rest yourselves now. I'll be back in an hour".

Niall was back floating in his dark world once more, aware of pain and a strange aching feeling in his heart that somehow wasn't physical . That voice he'd heard was echoing in his mind. 'You can't leave me. Don't go' over and over, like some mantra. The words were binding around him like steel ropes, anchoring him to the pain to this place he was currently occupying. The voice sounded terrified but comfortingly familiar, still sweet even in it's anguish.

"Niall?" Niall turned his head and looked at the beautiful woman next to him.

"Caoimhe, you're here. You're really here"

"Niall, Jacey needs you, you need to go back to her"

"But......"

"Go back, now. I love you, but so does Jacey. Go back" And Niall felt the pain increasing and he whimpered .

Jacey felt a wave of soft warm air flow over her briefly then it was gone. As she gazed down at her unconscious husband,  it was almost as if someone had whispered in her ear. " Don't worry, he's safe, he's staying with you.". She picked up Niall's hand , rubbing it between her own. His skin felt warmer now, the chill gone.

"Niall, can you hear me? I'm going to take this tube out of your mouth. Can you give me a big cough, sweetheart". Niall frowned as the voice penetrated the fog and he coughed weakly. Instantly he felt a choking sensation then he could breath more easily. He struggled to force his eyes open. "There you are!" the voice said cheerfully and Niall looked up into the face of middle-aged woman. "I'm just going to give you some oxygen to help you" She fidgeted around him briefly "There, that's better. Your wife is going to be so happy to see those blue eyes of yours. I'll just call her". Niall nodded weakly then shut his eyes and drifted back to sleep.

When Niall woke later it was to see Jacey sleeping in a chair, her head resting on the bed. He weakly moved his arm and stroked her hair softly making her stir.  Across the room, Zayn was curled up in a chair, tucked into a corner, deeply asleep, his dark hair sticking up in all directions, his long eyelashes fanning cheeks pale with fatigue and stress. Niall wanted to somehow comfort him as well but he couldn't possibly reach. He moved his hand  down to stroke the soft skin of Jacey's cheek.

"Niall, oh Niall" tears flooded down her cheeks but her smile lit up her face. "Oh my g*d, Niall". Jacey sat upright, instantly alert.

"J..Jacey" his voice sounded rusty. Jacey grabbed a cup of water and held the straw to his lips.He drank gratefully. "Jacey"

"I'm here love . You scared me, so much" she whispered.

"Sorry...sorry"

"The doctor says you're going to be fine. I..we....Ni, we thought you'd....." Jacey broke off, too emotional to continue.

"I think I remember" Niall frowned as he spoke.

"Ni, you were ........ How could you remember? What do you remember ?"

"You'll think I'm mad but I heard you telling me not to leave" Niall murmured

"I did but I didn't think you could hear me. They were working on you to get you back. I thought you'd gone"

"I think that I had..I'd let go but...... Caoimhe......she told me to stay" Niall blushed. Jacey would think he'd gone mad talking about his dead wife telling him he had to live. Jacey stared at him, a strange expression on her face.

"I know, she told me" Jacey smiled at Niall a little ruefully. Maybe she was the mad one.

"Well Niall, I really didn't think we'd get you though this" The doctor admitted, having finished examining him. "We'll move you to another room and let you continue your recovery."

"Thanks, doctor. I think I didn't expect to be here either" Niall admitted "But I'm Ok, right?"