Stumbling through the dark

Li? Help Me.

Niall sat  nervously waiting for his family to arrive at the Hotel , his left leg constantly jigging up and down and his hands twisting the hem of his Tee-shirt. "Ni, calm down". Liam put his hand on Niall's knee to still the restless movement. "Stop working yourself up, it will be fine" Liam said in a reassuring tone. 

"I just don't know how to begin, Li." Niall whispered. "How do I explain?"

"Just go with the basics and then answer any questions they have. I'll be with you and I'll help. Remember, you are not doing this alone, mate." Liam answered and got a weak smile in response from Niall. "They're here, Ni" . 

"Niall, Liam, it's great to see you both" Bobby gave both young men a hug and then moved aside to let Maura and Greg have their turn. Maura, with a mother's intuition, eyed her son carefully, noting the strain than clouded his normally sparkling blue eyes. She frowned slightly. Whatever it was that was wrong, she knew that she would have to possess her soul in patience as Niall could never be hurried.

"Let's go into the restaurant " Liam said, taking Maura's arm " We've a lot to catch up on". The others followed, Bobby with an arm flung over his youngest son's shoulders. Once they had all placed their orders and been served, Niall cleared his throat nervously, looking at Liam who nodded encouragingly. 

"Ma, Da" Niall began " I .....it's great to see you guys. I've missed you whilst we've been on tour. Skype is great but it doesn't really cut it". He couldn't do it. He couldn't get the words out of his mouth. I'm a coward, he thought to himself. Maybe I'll leave it.

"Niall James Horan" Liam spoke firmly , looking at his bandmate.

"Ok, Ok" Niall sighed. "Ma.Da...I have been diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis." He squeezed his eyes shut as he spoke, getting the words out quickly.

"Multiple ..what?" Bobby asked

"Multiple Sclerosis. MS , Da" Niall  said looking down at his plate so he didn't have to see the expressions on everyones faces. "It's treatable but there's no cure".

"Sweetheart" Maura said gently to Niall ' how long have you known?"

" About a month , Ma. I had a few problems with things but didn't think it was anything serious. Turns out I was wrong".

"But why didn't you tell me, tell your Da?" Maura asked 

"Because I was scared, am scared. Didn't want to accept it." Niall spoke quietly, finally looking around at the faces of his family. "I've worked it out though, I've got it and now I have to live with it"

"It can be treated though" Greg started asking his own questions "There is medication and stuff, isn't there?"

"Yeah, there is. I have intramuscular injections once a week. Plus some other stuff. It can go into remission or it can flare up. I had a flare last week but it's Ok now".

"But what about the band?" Greg continued his line of thought "Does this mean you'll leave?"

"No" Liam answered this time. "We have our hiatus now so Niall can rest up and get used to managing his condition but we'll still remain as OneD"

"Hmmmh" was Greg's response. He thought Niall should give up and stay home, live a normal life now.

"I'm not giving up, Greg. I need to be normal, I want things to be as normal as they can be for me". Niall's tone was as firm as Liams'

"Well, I don't agree" Greg stood up and walked out of the restaurant. Maura and Bobby looked after his retreating figure. Bobby shook his head sadly as his eyes followed his eldest son. Greg loved his younger brother but lately he had seemed to be more and more jealous of his little brother's fame, hating that Niall was away so much. He'd have to speak to Greg later but now his youngest son needed his support.

"Da, there's something else I need to tell you but please, please don't be angry with me" Niall's voice was shaking with nervousness. "I didn't want to, I couldn't, I........ Li?  Help me" A slow tear trickled down Niall's face and he wiped it away hurriedly, embarrassed by his own weakness.

" Niall and I discussed whether he should tell you this next bit of information and we think it's best you know as you never can tell what the media may get hold of and distort. It won't be pleasant to hear. Niall, I know, is afraid of you judging him over this and being angry but please promise you'll hear us out?" Liam looked from Maura to Bobby and both nodded their heads in assent. "Ni , do you want to ?" Liam asked Niall who shook his head and waved his hand to indicate Liam should continue. Liam took a deep breath " Niall was obviously really upset by his diagnosis and one thing and another lead him to do something rather rash".  Liam paused, hoping he was choosing his words carefully " He drank a rather a lot  and took a few pills too many". He couldn't bring himself to be blunt.

"Attempted suicide" Bobby said baldly. "He attempted suicide"

(A/N   baldly

/ˈbɔːldli/adverbwithout any extra detail or explanation; plainly; bluntly."'I really needed the cash,' she says baldly". )

""Yes, he did. But fortunately Zayn got worried about him and Niall was found in time. Zayn knew what to do and saved Niall's life"

"Zayn? But he left the band. Why was he with you? I thought he'd deserted you" Bobby questioned.

"Da, I rang him to tell him about the MS but chickened out. He got worried and came over from the States. "

Maura  got up and knelt by her son's chair and hugged him closely to her. " Oh Niall, oh my sweet baby boy" her own tears were flowing now. " I'll never be able to thank Zayn enough for saving you. Oh sweetheart"

Bobby sat there in silence looking at Niall's mother hugging her youngest to her. He blinked rapidly to hold back his own tears. "Liam, do you have a contact number for Zayn? I'd like to thank him. Niall is...precious....to us" Bobby didn't wear his heart on his sleeve but it was obvious just how much he loved his son and his gratitude to Zayn was beyond measure. Liam smiled as he wrote down Zayn's number and handed it to Bobby, receiving  the  same smile that he'd seen so often on Niall's face.

"I'm sorry Ma, Da. I know it was wrong, stupid, selfish but it got too much. I'm sorry" Niall tried to apologise.

"Niall James Horan, don't you dare do that again. And you go to Confession to ask forgiveness" Maura's relief finally allowed her to speak freely once more. Niall grinned at her knowing he'd better do just that or he'd never hear the end of it. He looked at Liam and mouthed 'Thank you' to him. Liam smiled and winked in return, happy that Niall was now relaxed and smiling once more.

The rest of the meal was spent in talk of Niall's treatment, plans for the break, the coming Christmas and what the lads had been up to on the last tour. Zayn's presence and the help he had given to Niall was also part of the conversation. Now that it was out in the open, Niall found himself able to talk about it more openly though he didn't tell his parents that this was the second time Zayn had saved his life.  He was relieved that his parents now knew everything....well almost everything...and now he could look forward once more. He grinned up at Liam, his blue eyes sparkling once more, knowing that whatever he had to face, he'd face it with three lads to help him.  Now the only problem on the horizon was Greg...his face fell.