Stumbling through the dark

Odd Though, Don't You Think?

Louis stood next to Niall's bed, holding his hand tightly in his own. Staring down at his young friend, he couldn't help but wish Niall had never embarked on this experimental treatment. He didn't see how Niall could survive, he  closed his eyes, praying to whoever might be listening.' Please, please, please, don't let it end this way' he repeated over and over in his mind. 

"Sit down" a voice gentle bade him as the nurse pushed a chair towards him. "You'll be more comfortable." She studied Louis' face before continuing " I know this all looks very scary to you right now but Niall is receiving all the care we can give him.  Talk to him, I'm sure he can hear even if he isn't responding". She continued checking the machines surrounding Niall as Louis looked at Niall's pale face with tear filled eyes. 

"Hey Ni, it's me, Louis. Please wake up and talk to me. Ni, you have to fight. Don't you dare leave us. Don't you f.cking dare die on me" his words came out sounding choked. Louis felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Liam was now standing beside him. "I'm scared, Li. So scared" and he buried his face in Liam's stomach. Liam wrapped a hand around Louis' neck and  the other around his head, held him there as Louis body shook with sobs.

The two young men sat with their bedridden bandmate for hours, every now and then talking to him, hoping for some response,  watching for some movement but there was none. Harry finally joined them, his normally bright eyes dull above the mask that covered his lower face. He walked up to the bed and , bracing himself, looked at Niall.The sight still gave him a jolt. He carefully reached out his hand and brushed his fingers  over and over again ,across Niall's forehead. "Any change?" he asked the others but they both shook their heads sadly. "Please, Ni. Please" he whispered. " Open your eyes, say something, do something  ..just don't die". Time dragged on, the boys feeling more helpless with every passing second. How did it all go so wrong?

 Liam and Harry had left to get some sleep. Harry was close to breaking down and Liam, though reluctant to leave, knew that he also needed to care for Harry. He took his role as Daddy Direction very seriously, pushing back his own needs, to look after the others. He got Harry tucked up in bed then collapsed on the couch, his own eyes closing. Meanwhile, back at the hospital,  Louis rested his head on Niall's  bed and closed his eyes. Stress and jet lag had taken their toll on him and finally won completely.His eyes fluttered shut and he  slid into sleep.The nurse looking after Niall got a spare blanket and wrapped it gently over his sleeping form before turning her attention back to her patient and the machines that were helping her to monitor his condition.

Louis felt so relaxed. He was warm and comfortable, the hand brushing through his soft hair was soothing. The rhythmical beeping sound was hypnotic and added to his sense of relaxation. He smiled softly in his sleep, his warm breath tickling the wrist of the hand that slowly brushed over his head. It was so peaceful. Hours slipped past more easily in his dream world. Some lucid part of his mind wished he could stay here forever. Here was safety. Here was peace.

Harry and Liam rushed through showering and dressing . Neither of them felt much like eating but both felt a little better after several cups of strong coffee. Perhaps too much coffee Harry thought as he looked down at his shaking hands. He was relieved that Liam was going to be doing the driving. His nerves were so bad, he doubted that he'd be safe. Liam, however, was holding together better, or so it seemed to  Harry, though he  knew Liam was skilled at covering his true feelings. "Ready?" Liam asked and Harry nodded. "Louis hasn't called us so.................." Liam didn't want to finish the sentence, afraid that if he did, he would somehow jinx themselves and Niall's condition would deteriorate even more. Liam reminded himself that no news was good news, in a way. No news meant that Niall was still with them.

Louis stirred slightly as the noise of the nurses shift change penetrated his sleep. He didn't want to wake up so kept his eyes tightly shut. Really, he felt so relaxed. He allowed himself to drift  again as the two nurses completed the hand over of their patient. Louis yawned delicately and the soothing sensation of a hand moving over his hair  stopped momentarily then slowly resumed. Louis hummed quietly in pleasure, smiling in his sleep.

"Bro, wake up" Liam gently shook Louis who groggily raised his  head from the bed, frowning as he did.

"Mm' up" he responded, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "What time is it?" 

"9:30am , mate. The nurse said you looked so peaceful she hadn't the heart to wake you. Here " Liam handed Louis a large cup of coffee that he'd got from Starbucks. Louis accepted it gratefully, mouthing a thanks to Liam then sipping cautiously at the hot liquid. He looked down at Niall who still appeared to be trapped in his own world.

"It looks like he's much the same" Harry told him "No better, no worse. I suppose that's good in a way. I dunno" he sounded glum. "The Oncologist is supposed to be in later They plan on going ahead with the Stem Cell Transplant but...I dunno....what if it makes things worse? " 

"Where is the nurse?" Louis suddenly noticed her absence and broke into Harry's question. "I thought she was supposed to stay in here with Niall? So where has she gone?"

"Restroom, maybe?" Liam didn't sound interested.

"But last time a nurse left, another came in here and stayed until the other one returned" Louis was confused but Liam just shrugged. Present or absent, the nurses whereabouts didn't appear to concern him.

"Odd though, don't you think? I wonder why she left? Louis persisted.

"Don't worry about it, Lou.She's probably taking a quick break." Liam was beginning to feel frustrated. What the f.ck did it matter, anyway. Nothing was happening. He sat down next to Niall's bed and hummed  'Little Things' softly. Louis frowned, puzzled but let the subject drop.

The door suddenly opened and the nurse entered the room followed by a distinguished looking man who introduced himself at Niall's Oncologist. "Gentlemen, may I ask you to step outside for a time? I need to examine Mr Horan. The boys all nodded and trooped reluctantly from the room, closing the door behind themselves. Dr Peters approached the bed and picked up Niall's small hand. and studied it briefly.  He looked at the nurse and nodded "Yes, I believe you are right" He laid the hand gently back onto the bed and pulled his stethoscope out of his pocket.