Snowbaz One Shots

Simon's Tail

"Baz!" Simon excitedly mauls me as soon as I walk in the door to the apartment.
"What?" I shout enthusiastically. I do it for his sake.
We crash our lips together in a quick greeting before he continues and we sit on the couch.
"Okay, so, I think Penny and I FINALLY found a spell to get rid of the tail."
I feel my face fall slightly. I try to fake a smile and nod along as he continues.
"It's really simple actually and Pen says that she can- what? What's wrong? You have that look on your face." Simon's brow furrows in worry.
"No, no, it's okay," I pause. "Whoa, wait a second. What look?"
He chuckles softly.
"Oh, sweetie. I have you all figured out. From your 'I'm faking a smile' to your 'I have a tummy ache' look I know exactly how you're feeling at all times. Now tell me, what's wrong? Why are you faking a smile?" Simon speaks very matter-of-factly. I can hardly shake a grin in reaction to his adorableness.
"Look, Snow," Force of habit. "I'm fine. I don't know what you're talking about because I'm... stop looking at me like that! I'm fine!"
"Hmm..." He speculates. "Tell me, my darling Tyrannus..." I cringe. It's what I get for calling him Snow. "Is it at all possible that you like my tail?"
I sigh.
"Si. No. I do not like your tail."
"Oh, then I guess you wouldn't mind if I just went on over to Penny's house right now and have her lop it right off? Hmm?"
I desperately fail to pull him off track with a kiss but Simon is smarter than that. He sees right through me. He gives me a quick peck to make up for his rejection and then continues on with his interrogation.
"Baz. I absolutely will not judge you if you have some kind of... attachment..." He failingly attempts to pull back his giggles. "To my tail." His eyes are tearing now and I can really see his struggle to keep a straight face. I think the jig is up.
"Fine. I suppose it is possible that I...like...your tail. Happy now?" I throw my hands up in defeat just as Simon bursts in to laughter.
"That's totally the reaction that one gives when they're completely and totally not judging someone!" I almost snap sarcastically.
"Noooo! You're fine, don't be a baby." He says through fits of laughter. He leans in to kiss me and I halfheartedly give in.
Now, Simon reaches for his tail and jokingly rubs in on my face and the teasing begins.
"Aw, how about now? Are you turned on now, baby?" He has tears of joy running down his face. I can't help but crack a smile.
"I hate you," I jokingly remark and flop down on the couch.
"I hate you, too, darling." Si wipes his tears away and gets out his last few giggles.

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Quite proud of this one, not gonna lie! Thanks for reading!!