Within Seconds: Sylas & Allen

In Mid-Fall

Directly after he completed the race, Barry returned to S.T.A.R. Labs. He reclined in her computer chair. Never before had he sat in it. She always told anyone, especially him, that the only way one could take her seat was over her dead body. He didn't think it would become a legitimate ideal.

Barry may have succeeded in winning the race against Zoom, but that was where his winning ended. He lost everything he lived for. He lost everything he loved. 

"Barry?" asked Cisco. 

"I hate her," he mumbled, closing his eyes.

"Never in a million years could you hate her. What you hate is what she did. You know why?"

"Because it's exactly what I would have done," he scoffed. 

Cisco's voice cracked when he said, "I'm so sorry."

"So am I, Cisco..." he mumbled. He scoffed. "That wasn't her decision. Melody was our baby. And she chose to..."

"I know it may not seem like it, but it was her only choice. You can't blame her. Zoom was willing to keep her for the whole pregnancy just for the baby. You know what would have happened as soon as Melody  was born... She wasn't going to let her child be subjected to--"

"I could have saved her."

"Parker wasn't going to take that chance. She was very much a 'greater goods' type person. She saved you."

"I never asked her to save me. I didn't ask her to take away the only family I have left," snapped Barry. 

"That's not true. You're not alone."

"Tell that to my family."

Cisco didn't know what he wanted to hear. Quietly, unsure of his words, he said, "We're your family, too, Barry."

"Where's my mother? My father? My wife? My goddamn child, Cisco?!" shouted Barry, dropping his head into his hands, sobbing, "They're gone! They're gone..."

Cisco and Barry remained in silence together. Both were crying as silently as they could manage. It hurt. They saw no reason to console each other. Words, or even actions, wasn't going to make their their pain disappear. 

"Do you want me to take you home?" mumbled Cisco.

"Yes."

In the car, it was absolutely silent. Each man was racking their brain trying to think of something to do or say that would make the other feel better. Nothing came to mind. There was nothing they could say to bring themselves at ease. Their minds were blank.

"Bye," said Cisco.

"Bye," said Barry.

He trudged into her apartment building. He made it to the door before he came to a stop. His head fell against the door. His hand was on the knob, but he found himself unable to push open the door. The last thing he wanted to do was enter their house. He couldn't think about her without crying. Being in their house was going to shatter him. 

Barry took a seat against the door. His head rested on the door frame. He closed his eyes. 

"Come on," said a voice.

"Caitlin?" asked Barry, scrambling to look wide awake, "What are you... What?"

"The night Ronnie died, I couldn't enter our apartment," she explained. 

Barry rubbed at his eyes. "I knew this was coming," he whispered. 

"Which doesn't make it hurt any less," said Caitlin. She slid down the door beside him. "I'll tell you what, Barry. Cisco came to my house sobbing about ten minutes ago. Come back with me. You can both stay at my place until we're all okay. Then, together, we'll come back when we're ready and face this house."

"Are you sure?" whispered Barry.

"Positive."