All You Do Is Live

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*26th of July 1978*

Physically, everything was back to normal, but my mind was not. I still couldn't remember Roger or the life we had together. It was as if my entire memory had been wiped. I could see that Roger cared for me, very much so, but I wasn't sure if he could now that I was almost a different person. It wasn't a case of getting me to fall in love with Roger, it was a case of getting Roger to fall in love with me.

That evening, Roger and I went back to our house. As we pulled up outside, I noticed a huge black and white house. I wasn't sure if it was ours or not, until Roger stopped outside. I was absolutely shocked, this was a gorgeous house.

I got out of the car, looking in awe, and Roger helped me with my bags. The sun was setting and there was a soft orange glow on the white walls of the house. The moment was perfect, beautiful and I looked over at Roger. He was smiling at the expression on my face. We made eye contact, but it was broken very quickly. Roger started to walk into the house and I followed him in.

The entrance to the house brought us into a huge living room, painted white also, with a white couch in the middle of the floor. Another door lead to the kitchen which was all white, white walls, cabinets, floor. There was a huge round table in the middle of the floor. Beside the front door was a winding staircase which I saw Roger go up, carrying my bag upstairs. I followed him, and he entered a large room on the right. There was a big double bed with pure white sheets on it and several posters hanging up. As I looked closer, I saw they all had Queen on them. I looked at the people in the pictures. I noticed Roger straight away and I also noticed a man with a large bush of black curls. Must be Brian, I thought.

Roger put my bag on the bed. "Okay, so, I'll make dinner, cause it's getting kind of late. You just get into your comfortable clothes and then I'll call you when it's ready. Feel free to look around the room to remind yourself a bit," Roger told me. I nodded.

I went over to the closet in the corner. "What are my comfortable clothes?" I asked. Roger joined me at the closet and I felt a shiver down my spine. Even though I had only known him a few minutes, I was completely intoxicated by him. "You usually wear.... these." He said, handing me a pair of black leggins and a purple flannel. I nodded and Roger left the room. I put the clothes on and tied my hair up.

I started to look around the room. I saw a large collection of records under a dressing table. As I looked through them, I noticed they were nearly all Queen. As I looked through a box under the table too, I saw a big black notebook. I opened it and instantly recognised the handwriting: it was mine. It seemed to be a journal. It started on the 1st of April 1966 and I wrote about my graduation from school. I skipped a few pages and came to the 5th of June 1973, which was our wedding day. I read that Roger had disappeared the day before the wedding, but he still got married to me. I wrote about someone called Freddie and another person called John. A few pages later I wrote about my preganancy. I stayed in my room for ages reading about my life. It had been extremely eventful. I was shocked to read a friend of mine killed my baby.

Many of my diary entries ended with saying how much I loved Roger. I giggled at some of them and cried at others. I just wished I remembered.

I went down the stairs to the kitchen and a smell of burning filled the air. I ran in and saw Roger waving a dishcloth around, trying to get rid of the smoke. I ran over and turned the oven off.

"Do you usually make dinner?" I asked him. Roger shook his head. I tutted. "You should have asked me to do it." I said.

Roger said he would drive to a pizzeria and get us a pizza seeing as he had burned the dinner he was preparing. I looked over at the calender on the wall. I had every birthday and anniversary marked in. I saw the one for today, it said Rogers Birthday. I was annoyed he never told me.

I started looking in the cabinets for ingredients to make a cake. It was the least I could do.

Roger arrived home with the pizza and I presented the cake to him. "Oh Megan," he said. "You didn't have to."

Roger and I sat down at the table with the kids and ate our dinner. Afterwards, I cut us all a slice of the cake.

Roger and I took the kids up to bed. He put Elly in and I put Aidan in. I wasn't exactly sure how I usually did it so I just kissed his head and said goodnight.

The both of us went into our room. Roger noticed the journal on the table. "Oh you found your diary?" He asked. "Yeah, its been really helpful for me, I basically just read my entire life story." I said. Roger flicked through it. I heard him chuckle. "What?" I asked. "Oh nothing, just laughing at what I said when I found out you were pregnant." He said. I walked over to him and read the line. I started laughing. "Are you kidding me, 'where's the bump' I was only like 5 weeks pregnant." I told him and we both laughed.

I put my pyjamas on and so did Roger. "Uhh," he said. "You don't have to sleep in the bed with me, I can sleep downstairs if you like."

"No, I should sleep here, I mean, I usually do, so it could help."

I got into bed and so did he. I lay on my back. "You usually sleep in the fetal position on your left side." Roger told me. I did so. "Oh," he said. "I usually sleep with my arm around your waist..."

"Okay." I said and felt his arm on my body. "And we normally kiss goodnight too..." he said. I sat up and pecked his lips. "Like that?" I asked. He smiled. "Yeah, like that."

I lay back down and he kissed my head. "Goodnight. I love you."

I guessed it was intentional so I replied. "Goodnight. I love you too."

I lay on my side with Roger pressed close to me. I felt very comfortable in his arms. It almost felt like... home.







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