This Should Be Heaven

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On our last day in Germany, I took a leap of faith. I waited until Roger had gone to the studio to finish up some songs and the kids were in school. I arranged to meet Hooky. Little did he know, it would be our last time together. 

"Listen, Peter," I said to him softly, after we had spent a while together. 

"What's up?" He asked, taking my hand. 

I slowly eased mine out of his. "I'm leaving tonight with my family and I'm not coming back." 

"I know, but we can still see each other in America, I told you we're going on a tour." He said, furrowing his eyebrows. 

"Yes, but... I can't see you anymore. This is it, Hooky. We're over, okay? I have a family and love them dearly. I don't to sneak around anymore. I'm sorry it has to end like this." I said, looking into his eyes. 

"Okay, I understand. I'll miss you." He told me, searching my eyes. 

"I'll miss you too, we had fun. Lots." I said, smiling sadly at him. 

He leaned towards me to softly kiss my lips, but I refused. He looked disappointed. 

"I don't think we should, it's for the best." I said, holding his shoulder to keep him back. 

He smiled sadly and stood up to leave. "I'll see you," He said. 

"I'll watch out for you in the charts," I told him, smiling. 

I got a smirk from him and that was the last moment we ever shared together. 

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Yes, I did care for Hooky, deeply, but I cared for my family more, specifically, Roger more. He was my husband and I felt a tremendous amount of guilt cheating on him. I had let myself get in too deep. I pulled myself out before it was too late and ended it, ready to move to America and start a new life.

Our beautiful house in Germany was practically empty at this stage, with only our beds and some clothes left. Roger had been flying back and forth bringing our belongings to our new house, which I was dying to see. 

Roger looked so happy when we were getting all of our stuff packed and it made my heart burst with pride, but also hurt a little too. I had been keeping this secret from him for so long and I needed to tell him before it was too late. I was determined to tell him when he got home that day. 

So, I cleaned the rest of the house out, only getting the things we needed for the night ready. Everything else was in the car, waiting to be brought to America. I was a nervous wreck all evening as I prepared dinner for Roger and the kids. They had come home from school, buzzing with excitement, dying to move to their new home. 

We started dinner without Roger as he was a little bit late. As we ate, I watched my kids interact with each other. They didn't deserve what I had done to them and I was truly sorry. Looking at them made me long for another baby. It was out of my reach though. 

Roger came in quietly through the front door, hanging his coat up and taking off his shoes. He was holding something in his hands. 

"Hey, how was the studio?" I asked, getting up to put his dinner on a plate. 

"Great. We're practically done all the demo tracks. Everything's ready for America," he said, beaming. 

He then handed me a beautiful bouquet of a dozen red roses. I gasped as they were gorgeous. 

"For you, darling," he said as I smiled back, going to put them into a vase. 

"Thank you so much, Roger," I said, hugging him close. It was so nice to feel his hands on my body again. We hadn't been on the best of terms in the weeks before, but we both knew America would change everything. We would be alright. 

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