It's All So Beautiful *Roger Taylor Fanfic*

Suspicion In Your Eyes

I sat at the kitchen table in Brian's house and stirred a cup of tea absentmindedly. I didn't know what I was going to say to Roger. My mind was racing with thoughts. I didn't want to face him. I just wanted things to return to normal. It was a mistake to come here.

I heard Brian's light footsteps down the stairs and my heart skipped a beat. I immediately thought of that kiss. Maybe he was just being kind, or maybe I forced him into it, but it didn't feel like a meaningless kiss.

I also hadn't forgotten that we slept together. We didn't make love, but we did sleep in the same bed, holding hands.

It felt nice to feel someone else's lips on mine, to feel their touch against my skin, to feel the warmth of them next to me, being my security through the night. I missed it.

He came into the kitchen, smiled timidly at me and turned the kettle on, making himself tea.

"Do you uh want some?" He asked.

This was exactly why I regretted the kiss, this awkwardness.

"Uh, no thanks." I said.

He continued to make his tea and then sat down across from me, barely looking at me.

"So..." he started, catching my attention.

"Um, I just wanted to say, I hope that kiss didn't mean anything to you..."

"Oh no, not at all." I replied.

"Good," he said. "Cause obviously I've got Chrissie and Jimmy, I mean, I don't want to jeprodise that... y'know?"

"Of course."

"I do care about you Megan, you know that. Just not like that. I mean, I did kiss you first kind of, but it.... well... it's not like...." he said, stuck for words.

"What I'm trying to say is, we both know that nothing will never come of this and that's all that matters."

I nodded. Although, I was kind of disappointed. Of course I didn't want to break him and Chrissie up, but I did have some feelings towards him. I guess they were more of best friend feelings, someone I could depend on and someone who cared for me. Maybe because I hadn't felt that in so long, I mixed up the two.

After breakfast, Brian drove me to a cafe where Roger and I were going to meet. I went in and ordered a coffee, sat down and waited for his arrival. I could've bet that he wouldn't show up.

Eventually, Roger arrived in, his hair all fluffy and freshly washed, his eyes hidden by brown sunglasses, wearing a button down, loose, white shirt and blue, tight fitting jeans. He took his glasses off when he walked in the door and didn't even bother ordering; he just sat across from me.

I stiffened when he sat down, both physically and emotionally, promising myself no matter the circumstances that I would not cry.

He looked sheepishly around the room, avoiding my eyes, until we both looked at each other at the same time, unable to break away.

"So what did you come here to talk to me about?" I asked, seeing as he had set up this rendevous.

"Us." He replied.

"There is no us." I stated.

"Don't say that."

"Roger," I said. "It's true. Can't you see? We've been over for nearly two years now, we can't just pretend that it never happened."

"Yes we can. If we try, we can fix this. Please."

"Roger. I don't want to fix this. I can't forgive you. It's too big this time. Once was bad enough, but you made it up to me. This time, you can't. It hurt me. And I'm still scarred from it. You cheated twice and-"