Limerence.

Forty Five.

---Forty Five---

Jasmine's pov;

The next morning after my classes, I call Jackson and lie that I feel sick, so as not to go to work. I have been so distracted during my classes, my mind has been elsewhere and the fact that Harry & I kissed has been torturing me since I woke up. My sanity has came back and I'm generally freaking out about being so easy, giving in and kissing him back. Also, I haven't forgot about the fact that he gave Alex a black eye and a cut. I want to go to his frat house and see if he's alright, but because of Harry, he probably hates me and never wants to see me again.

I avoided going to work so I don't have to see any of the boys, they come often and I'm in no mood to discuss our yelling from last night, neither am I in a mood to see Harry. Ever. I might as well move to Mexico, change my name to Fernanda and grow vegetables or something, so I can be away from crowded cities and grow old alone with my five cats.

I need someone to talk with about this, and the only person I feel that will understand me is either Perrie or Zayn. I don't call Zayn, because that'd be too awkward so I call Perrie. She tells me she will be over in a while, so I take my time to clean up a little. Leigh is somewhere with my sister, so we'll be able to discuss. My desk is a literal mess, but I have the time to arrange everything before Perrie knocks on my door.

"I brought donuts and smoothies" She held up a paper bag.

"You're the best" I said.

"I was passing from the shop so I said, why the hell not" She laughed.

"Never deny donuts" I said.

"So what's up?" She sat down on a chair, and put the bag on a small coffee table we had. I sat across from her and took a deep breath.

"I don't even know how I even say this" I take a sip out of my smoothie. I tap my fingers nervously on the table, and chew on the inside of my cheek, a habit I have whenever I'm stressed.

"It seems important, so you might as well get it out there now" She said.

"Um did Zayn tell you that I came by last night?" I asked.

"Yeah he told me that you looked for Harry and you were looking pretty mad. Afterwards he heard yelling but then it quieted down. But he knows nothing more" She said.

"Well we stopped yelling because... Uh... Harry told me something and I was left kind of with my jaw dropped to the floor" I said.

"I need details if you want me to understand. Take it from the beginning" She said.

"So, while I was working and took a little break, I texted Zayn to ask him if Harry was okay because the other night he came by the bar and looked really sad and drunk, saying weird stuff" I explained.

"What did he say?" She asked.

"I was talking to my friend Jackson, who is the owner of the bar and he asked me where to take his girlfriend for their anniversary. I told him to go to Primrose Hill because it is amazing, and Harry had taken me there a while ago. He looked at me and his eyes were bloodshot. He was like "You liked that day at Primrose Hill? What did it mean to you?" I said yes and that I don't know, he sighed and walked out. Like it was so odd" I said.

"He was definitely quite drunk, he never looks vulnerable" She said.

"Yeah, I know" I said.

"Now tell me about the other day" She said.

"Well as I was saying I asked Zayn if he was okay and he told me he was drunk, he made his bedroom a mess and I explained to him what happened. After that, I texted Alex so I could see when he had time to go out again. He told me he can't go out with me again, I asked why and he told me 'my friend' gave him a black eye and a cut on his lip" I continued.

"Oh my god, Harry" She said.

"Yes, exactly. I left early from my shift to go and talk to him. That's why I looked so mad. I went up to talk to him and he was so chill about it. His excuse was that Alex is a dick so he beat the fuck out of him. I told him that's not right and that Alex is a good guy, he told me I deserved better and that I don't see who can really give me what I need. I asked him who that was and he said him. He freaking told me it is him that should be kissing me and taking me places" I said and run out of breath.

"You're not kidding right? He literally said that?" She asked.

"Yes and I didn't even know what to say" I said.

"That's amazing! What happened next?" She asked, smirking.

"Well.., he kind of kissed me. And I kissed him back for a long time. If it wasn't for that, I would be rambling on for the rest of the night" I said.

"What?! This is so great!" She grinned.

"No, this is a disaster. And you don't want to know what I said after, I made it even worse. He asked me if what he did was wrong, I told him maybe but I don't mind, then he told me he wanted to do this for a while, I told him he needed glasses and then he goes on and tells me I'm beautiful" I sighed.

"I don't see anything bad there Jasmine" She said.

"No, it's not that. It's just that... I told him I'm not Stacey and left. I feel incredibly awful for saying that" I said.

"Jazzy, don't compare yourself to her. I'm pretty sure he never wanted her like that, she was an awful bitch to him" She said.

"He doesn't want me, and I don't want him. It makes me want to move out of the country" I said and took a bite out of a donut.

"You think he doesn't want you after that? I think he does" She said.

"He shouldn't be. I can't be like this with him. He's stressing me out all the time and even thinking that he likes me or whatever, makes me get scared. I'm still mad at him about Alex" I said.

"Sort this out" She said.

"I don't want to, I told you" I said.

"Don't be so negative" She said.

"I'm being realistic, not negative. Harry is troubled, he's a tough person and we always get one another angry. I don't... trust him that much" I said.

"Why not?" She asked.

"Because I've told him things about myself that no one knows, especially about my past, and he refuses to tell me anything. He didn't even let me his childhood pictures when we visited his mum on Christmas" I said.

"Harry has a tough past. He doesn't like to talk about himself that much, but if he ever says something to you, something important, you'll know he has feelings for you" She said.

"This is making me sick. I don't want to disappoint him and I don't want to do something I'll regret" I said. I am already regretting our kiss, remembering of Stacey. If she finds out, I'm probably dead.

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~I hope you liked this chapter babes. Love ya. -Eva. xx