Won't Miss You (Tord X Heartbroken! Reader)

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(WARNING! Not suited for easily heartbroken or upset readers. Contains heartbreak and cutting.)

(Y/N)'s POV

  I missed him so bad! Why won't he come back? Tord left the house about a year ago, he said he was going to take his chances in the big city. Though, I just want him back in my life. The only reason I didn't follow him was because he said he wanted to start out simple and alone, then come back when he could afford for both of us to live in comfort. It won't take that long for him to come back as a knight in shining armor, right? I try calling him every week, but he never picks up.

  I was sitting at the table, drinking (f/d). I soon heard Tom grumbling from the living room and Edd cry in joy. I ran over to the doorway to see my dreams come to life. Tord was standing right there in front of me. I dashed for him and hugged Tord tightly. I heard him gasp for air after the sudden impact.

  "Tord! I missed you so so so much..." I whimpered. I could smell cigar smoke on his clothing, causing me to relive many happy memories. Tord hugged me back gently, his breath sifting through my hair. I looked up into his eyes, only for him to forcefully kiss me. I was taken aback, but I kissed back. Edd snickered from behind us, probably a reaction to Tom's gagging.

  I pulled away, strands of hair falling in my face. I was so glad to see Tord's face again, though I didn't think it would be... frowning? I tilted my head in confusion and dived deep into those emotional silver eyes of his. They seemed to be concealing themselves from me, since I couldn't pick up anything.

  "(Y/N), as much as I want to be with you, I came to say something," Tord choked. His thick accent was coated with guilt and grief, and I wondered why. He turned away from me, facing outside the house. I put my hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it away. I was about to start crying.

  "Tord, what's wrong?" I breathed out. I barely noticed Edd and Tom leave, not wanting to disturb us. Then, Tord gave up. His shoulders sagged, and he faced me once more. Though, grief combined with fury. Self fury and self hatred.

  "(Y/N), I'm breaking up with you. I'm never going to come back for you, and I need to tell you that before I break your heart," his words came out in emotional shambles. I gasped as tears fell from my (e/c) eyes like heavy rainfall.

  "But... why, Tord? I thought you loved me..." I cried. Tord wanted to break from my eyes, I could tell. But he couldn't, and I was afraid of why. Did he want to see me cry?

  "I can't tell you. If you did, you might hate me," he sighed. Then, a furious beast exploded from inside me. I stepped forward, pointing a finger threateningly at him. He looked shocked, and I forced myself to love it.

  "Well, I do hate you! If you can't stand to tell me why you don't love me all of a sudden, then I won't tolerate it! You know what? Leave! I won't even miss you," I growled the last part. I watched as tears started to from in Tord's eyes. I felt bad, until my mind bullied my heart into believing he deserved it.

  "Fine. Have a good life, (Y/N). My heart will always belong to you," he muttered shakily. My heart yearned to hug him, but I decided against it. I clenched my teeth to fight back a cry for him. A begging for his love. A promise to miss him.

  "Likewise," my voice hissed. I was taken aback by my own words. Was I speaking, or was I a puppet to my emotions? I saw Tord stiffen, and heard sobs rack his body. He wobbled out of the house, and closed the door behind him. As soon as he left, I broke down in tears by the door.

(Three Years Later)

Tord's POV

  I still beat myself up about it everyday. I hate myself and what I said. What I did was unforgivable. I couldn't go back, I know I couldn't. Especially if what (Y/N) said was true. What if she really didn't miss me? But, I had to continue to lead the Red Army.

  I shouldn't have lied to her or conceal my feelings. If I had that chance, I would go back to prove to her I love her more than I thought I ever could love. If I could, I would go back to her and tell her why I left. I wanted to tell her everything, but it's too late. Before another scar could mark another painful day without (Y/N), there was knock on my door. I walked over and opened it, surprised to see Paul. Not just Paul, but also (Y/N).

  "(Y-Y/N)..?" I stammered. My heart raced thousands of miles a second, every beat for her. Then, I remembered her icy glare. Her (e/c) eyes coated in a dark hate, my betrayal to her inevitable. Yet, I got a more thawed version from her. She shot me a look that could kill, and walked past me. She had handcuffs on her wrists, suggesting she was found on my boundaries.

  "I guess my heart couldn't stand to not miss you, sir," she growled. The 'sir' part made me feel vulnerable, how she said it.

  "Alright, I get it. I was a jerk undeserving of you. But, before you can prove to me how worthless I am once more, let me try to make it up to you," I begged. She eyed me curiously as I walked in front of her. I shooed Paul away, just as I rolled up my sleeves and revealed my scars. She stared in shock and horror.

  "Wh-who gave these to you...?" she muttered.

  "I did. There is one for every day since the one you opened my eyes to my stupidity. It is one for every day I've gone without you. Every single night that I would cry your name in my sleep, hoping you would answer with wide arms and a loving embrace, which you never did," I began to cry. I could see (Y/N) was, too. She looked up and down my arms, shaking her head angrily. It seemed as if her heart - which still loved me - was fighting with her betrayed mind.

  "Since when did I care? I said I won't even miss you, and kept my promise," she seethed. My heart shattered. She meant it, and she still means it, my heart thought woefully. That was just before she started bawling.

  "(Y/N), don't cry. Look, I'll make you happy!" I pleaded desperately. I began to lift the knife and go to press it against my skin. Just before my blood could be shed for her approval, she yelped.

  "No! Stop! I don't want to hurt you," her voice tripped over itself. I watched as she stood and walked over to me. "I missed you every moment you were gone. My heart begged for you just as much as yours did for me. I would have killed to get you back," I grinned, and hugged her tightly. I could barely restrict myself from crying on her shoulder.

  "I love you... so much. I love you more than I loved anyone else in my life. I need you, (Y/N)," I sobbed. I released her from her shackles, relishing in her hugging me back. Her hands felt soft and cold against my warm neck. I wanted her to stay here, hugging me for the rest of our lives. I wanted her to be all mine.

  "Make me yours, Tord. Take me back, please. I'll help you. I'll dedicate my life to what you dedicated yours to. I'll make it worth it, taking me back," she offered. I nuzzled into her shoulder, and held her tighter. I didn't care if it made my arms weak with effort.

  "Having you back in my arms is worth more than anything, (Y/N)," I admitted. She giggled, and we broke apart. She smiled at me, her eyes red and puffy from crying. Mine were, too, so I probably looked ridiculous.

  "That was so cheesy!" she laughed. I snorted and laughed with her. It was cheesy. I'm so glad she was back in my life. That is why a month later, I proposed, and she agreed. Now, we can be together forever.

  (Did you like this as much as I did? If so, tell me your thoughts in the comments!)

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