The Good and The Dirty (Pervert! Tord X Innocent! Reader)

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(LONG overdue request by BeefDatRamen)

Tord's POV

  I don't care how innocent she is, I can't help but think dirty around (Y/N). My perverted mind doesn't take a break. I stay up all night thinking of her and dream of her. I daydream hazily of her (h/c) hair, (e/c) eyes, (s/c) skin that is so soft, it rivals my favorite red blanket. Mostly, I try to keep these thoughts to myself, but a joke might slip out. For example, take this fine morning.

  The sun had just dared to peek from behind its sanctuary in the clouds. The dazzling sunrise bathed the windows and floor with scarlet, lilac, gold, and indigo. I was in the living room, watching TV as footsteps as gentle as only (Y/N)'s could be clinked against the stairs. I looked up as the beautiful woman stepped down, her body absolutely perfect in every way. I grinned to myself as I absent mindedly daydreamed of her. She noticed my silver eyes piercing her shoulder a few moments later. Her soft, tender cheeks blazed with red as she went into the kitchen.

  With only the gray tabby, Ringo, to accompany her, I decided to go with her. I walked into the kitchen just as she grunted. I watched in slight amusement as she tried to open a jar of peanut butter. I rolled my eyes as I strolled over and opened it for her. She smiled up at me, making my filthy mind whirl.

  "Thank you, Tord," she purred. I ignored my mind as dirty thoughts clouded my mind. I headed into the living room once more. I picked up hentai from the coffee table - which was mainly used for hentai stashes, forever homes for empty Cola cans and Smirnoff bottles, and Matt's mirrors that he resolved he could fix later. I looked it over, until I realized I wasn't taking anything in. All I could think of was (Y/N). I swear, she makes me crazy, sometimes.

  That's when I heard the clatter of metal from the kitchen. I got up and ran to the sound and saw (Y/N) mounted by all the pots and pans kept in the upper cupboards. She looked up at me, squished like road kill. I silently chuckled and reached out a hand. I smiled at her, trying to conceal a few snickers from behind my curled lips.

  "Need some help?"

(Y/N)'s POV

  I don't know why, but Tord always seemed dazed around me. His usually clear and soft gray eyes turn into a hazed and misty silver. His face goes from beautifully tan to deep, sun-burnt red. It's like I cast a spell on him whenever I walk into the room. Did I ever go to Hogwarts? If so, where is my wand? And my owl?

  "Ahem, (Y/N). Want some help?" Tord asked again. I snapped back to reality and nodded. I took his hand and fireworks went off in my head. I smiled as he pulled me to my feet, causing more clattering from beneath me. As I got to my feet, Tord turned away and headed back hurriedly to the living room. It's almost like he doesn't want me near him.

  The concept of the thought made me whimper. I need to be near him. How else am I going to fulfil my heart's aching desire for him? That's why I was going to find out why he is avoiding me. If I can fix it, I will. If I can't, then I'll prepare for heartbreak. But, at least I'll hear his thick and sweet accent from the other room. Honey for my ears, I would always call it.

  "Uh... (Y/N)? C-can I talk to you?" I heard the same accent stutter. I giggled at the tripping of his words. I hurried to the living room and found Tord standing there, his face is beat red. I blushed lightly as I watched him glide towards me.

  "I-I need to t-t-ell you something...," he muttered. I nodded for him to continue. He began to fidget with his hands. It was adorable how a few gleaming drips of sweat hung from his brow like jewels, making his red face look like that of a flustered yet shy boy. He turned to me finally, making me jump back. It was sudden and unexpected.

  "I love you, (Y/N). I have for a long time. That's why I can't look at you straight. You make me go crazy everytime you walk into the room. I feel like I'm being taunted everytime you smile or laugh. It's like your mind is torturing me, saying 'You can't have me'," he spilled. His words trickled from his lips to my heart like a river.

  "What are you saying, Tord..?" I asked in bewildered confusion. His face grew redder as he held my hands gently in his. I wanted to hug him, kiss him. Yet, I can't. At least, not yet.

  "(Y/N), will you please go out with me?" he begged. I smiled and leaned towards his face. Our noses nearly touching as he blushed madly. I breathed softly against his lips, making him shiver lightly. With a smile, I looked into his no longer dazed eyes.

  "Yes," I whispered.

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