My son's tutor (Jikook)

22

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"No..." Jimin breathed out as a tear rolled down his cheek.
"What?" Jungkook stroked the tear off with his thumb and kissed him softly.

Jimin closed his eyes as his soft lips pressed onto his sensitive ones.
"Jimin, what's wrong?" Jungkook stroked his cheek and made him look up.
"I can't believe that you stayed. It feels like a dream..." Jimin mumbled softly and looked down.

"Why wouldn't I stay? Like I said, I love you, baby. " Jungkook pulled him close with a cute smile across this lips. His eyes a bit puffy and lips too pink from last night's events.
"You.. you love me?" Jimin stuttered.
"Isn't it obvious? Look, I know this is really fast paced and it seems crazy. But I've never felt this way about anyone. At first I thought it was desire, and lust but when I held you in my arms all night long. I knew what it was. I wanted it for the rest of my life. I want you because I love you.." Jungkook smiled and kisses his cheek. Jimin's tears fell without a stop, he felt so overwhelmed. Nobody had ever said such words for him, not even Yoongi.

"But.. I have Jih. I.."
"Jimin, did you really think I would not want to take responsibility for Jih if I felt this way about you. I was uncertain and scared, yes. But I would do anything to have Jih and you in my life. I'd do anything to have him call me 'dad'. You have no idea how much I've thought about this. After last night, I should have been scared, but I wasn't. I saw everything clearer." He kissed his lips again and Jimin pulled him in further.

"You'd really want to do this?" Jimin's voice broke.
"Of course, Jimin. I really would. " Jungkook caressed his back. They stood still for a few moments, lost in each other's gaze, birds chirping softly as the daylight illuminated their features. And every mark on their upper body.

"Jungkook... I can't believe you'd be willing to do this. And I didn't know you felt this way. " Jimin said looking into his eyes, his hands on his chest. Jungkook smiled sweetly.

"But last night was a mistake." Jimin said in a low tone. Jungkook's world came down crashing and his stomach dropped and he gulped. He couldn't believe this. 

"Jimin.." he whispered as Jimin backed off slightly.
"Look, you have so much to look forward to. You're young, successful, so kind and amazing, you're perfect! I'm too damaged, Jungkook. I lost my youth raising Jih, I haven't even felt like myself for years. When you came along, I did. But I can't do this! I can't be with you! It's all going to fade. "
He spoke and Jungkook's hands trembled.

"Jungkook please understand. I have a child. I can't risk it all again. I do lov-- I don't know. I do love you.." Jimin tried.
"Then don't push me away, damn it!" Jungkook spoke fighting his tears.
"I don't have to justify myself. I'm doing it for Jihyung. And I am happy the way I am. I don't want anyone in my life." Jimin said in a monotone but his throat ached from trying to choke back his tears. Seeing Jungkook's eyes go dull and expression fall, it felt like a big mistake.

Jungkook cupped his head in his hands and then looked around.
"Then what was last night about? You said you loved me.." Jungkook's tears fell and he wiped them off angrily. Jimin stepped up to comfort him.
"Answer me, Jimin!" Jungkook shouted and Jimin gulped.
"I don't know... I got carried away with emotions and..." Jimin stuttered and shut his eyes as he sighed.

Jungkook burst out laughing and looked around as he wiped his tears. Jimin knew it was his pain and overwhelming anger getting him to react this way. He wanted to hold him but he couldn't.

"I didn't ever stand a chance, did I?.." Jungkook wiped his tears as his voice broke. Jimin wanted to tell him he was wrong! But he just stood there silently, his voice as if vanishing into thin air.

"Jungkook... You won't love me. I've been there before, look what happened to me! I almost lost everything! He was right, I should have been smarter.  " Jimin managed faintly and shook his head.
"Yoongi, isn't it?Don't you see he is doing to you? He's pulling you away from everyone who cares for you and Jih! Jimin wake up! Don't do this.." Jungkook grabbed his waist and Jimin sobbed. 

"No! I can't trust anyone ever again! I just can't.." Jimin pushed him off.

"Jimin, please. Why can't you love me back? Can't you see how much I'm trying?" Jungkook sobbed stepping towards him and knelt down in front of him and held his hands.
"Jungkook why.."
"Jimin, please. You've made me want things I didn't even desire. I want you, I want Jih, I want us. Please. Give me a chance. " Jungkook's pride had given away. He had never felt this vulnerable for anyone. He was begging him to stay.

Jimin sobbed hard and he took another step back and withdrew his hands from his ice cold hands.
"I'm sorry but I don't feel the same. Even if I do, I can't do this. I'm sorry I did this. " Jimin said looking down into Jungkook's big doe eyes begging him to reconsider.

He couldn't. He was scared for Jih.

Jungkook breathed out as he stumbled back onto his feet. His pride and heart both crushed. He picked his shirt up and buttoned it and stroked his hair back, his expression now unrecognizable.

Jimin's hands aching to touch him and hold him. He didn't mean to do this but he was too afraid to say anything.

"You know, I never wanted to commit to anyone. I never to marry, fuck it, I didn't even want to date anyone. I didn't want this. You made me want it and I... I was willing to throw everything I believed, for you. And you Jimin, chose to throw me away. " Jungkook said as his tears fell down from his jaw.

"You just, used me for one night. You could have told me before, I wouldn't have let this happen to myself.." He said through gritted teeth.
"Ju--"
"You killed a part of me. And I'm at fault for letting you do it. I never even thought this day would come, when I would be in love with a man so deeply. That I'd be willing to do anything to keep him. I never thought I would want to take care of a child as my own, be his father. But I... I let it happen. And see where I am right now. Humiliated." Jungkook said with a pained tone, his eyes swollen and expression hardened.

Jimin found himself panicking! He didn't mean it this way! He didn't want to do this to him! He didn't mean to destroy him! He was in love with him.

There was a silence in that apartment that was so haunting, it sent chills down both of them. The same place where they had made love a few hours ago was now just a place where they both stood hollow and emotionally stunted and shocked. The silence spoke a thousand words to Jungkook and he took it as his cue to leave.

Jungkook turned around and walked to the door while Jimin stood there sobbing silently.
"Jungkook.." He said suddenly making him halt and turn to him.

His eyes looked dead.
"I'm sorry.." Jimin cried.
Jungkook laughed softly.
"You broke me, Jimin. A sorry won't fix this. " He said bitterly and walked out.

Jimin shivered as the door shut and he stood there alone. It shouldn't have mattered, he did the right thing for Jih. But his heart did hurt, he looked around with trembling lips, and saw one of Jungkook's rings on the kitchen counter.

He walked up to it, picked it up and wore it but his heart shattered into a billion pieces when his eyes lay on the breakfast Jungkook had made for them, he saw a small smiley on the pancake and suddenly he couldn't hold back as he collapsed onto the floor crying and wincing in pain. Regretting. 

"Jungkook..." He let out a cry holding the ring and sobbing on the floor.

Author's note

:)
Please don't kill me.

*deposit author killing knives here*

*Hugs from author here*

*Tea and tissues*

Also, LESSER ANGST THAN STRAIGHT AND MORE JIKOOK INTERACTION STILL SO PLEASE NOBODY DIE.

:) Love youuu..?