(Durarara!! - Shizuo x Reader) Your Target-Savior

[Berserker's Arc] Chapter 27

[Reader's POV]

"Shizuo!" I gasped as I suddenly sat up. He was here just now! Or... am I just dreaming about it? The door creaked. Definitely, someone was here with me. They put something on my mouth. I put my fingers to my lips and I could still feel the cold moisture.

Suddenly, my head began to spin. Suddenly, tons of knowledge were forged into my brain over a short period of time. I regained all my memories. I finally remember now... My real name is (F/n) (L/n)! I was orphaned at an early age after my family was sent to an impossible mission and never returned. When I reached my capable age, the very man who sent them began to send me to missions. I don't know the man. I never knew his face nor his name. All I know is that I could never blame him for my family's misfortunes and that we, assassins, live prepared to die no matter how much we fear death.

To avoid the same tragedy as my family, I trained very hard, worked very hard, and became one of the greatest assassins the underground company has ever had. I am the one who's always for hire and my missions were always successful. I am responsible for the majority of the criminals' and rich black market patrons' mysterious death. Even the detectives could not solve their cases. How so? I've always been involved with my target before I kill them and I clean everything before I totally leave. That is how I always do my work.

Because I was in the top class assassins, other assassins have come to hate me. Angela Veron and Alex Frodd have always secretly hated me. My four other assassin friends: Akari, Venn, Mari, and Allison, have probably hated me in the shadows for a very long time.

Working on my assassination plan with the information broker, Orihara Izaya, was different from my usual. I did a sneak attack, all because my client requested for it. Because I changed my way of assault, I have been uncomfortable with myself and got caught. My subject of assault was changed into Izaya's rival and mortal enemy, Heiwajima Shizuo. Hoping that I could successfully exterminate him, I went back to using my old methods. Sadly, my first failure lead to a series of failure. My plan to execute Heiwajima Shizuo and claim money from Orihara Izaya before I take his head and present it to Yodogiri Jinnai to claim the reward has all been foiled.

I had to face humiliation as Angela Veron and her underlings lay to torture me. What's even more humiliating is that the one who was fated to die within my hands have saved me before the face of death. I really hated it and I hated myself for it. I squeezed my brain hard thinking over why he'll do such a thing to someone like me. Until then, I realized and accepted that I couldn't kill him nor bear to kill him that I'd rather take my own life. Ain't it pathetic?

I am ashamed, yet the one that's driving me to leave badly is not the fact that I couldn't take the blonde man out of the day lights. It is the fact that I was enchanted at how he risked his own life to save mine. I couldn't take it off my mind that time. I was barely surviving. Of course, I am grateful to Celty-san and Shinra-san as well. They played a major part in saving me although because they got involved with me, I betrayed them.

Finally, when I have decided to leave, Shizuo talked to me. His words caused my heart to ache so much. I know that he didn't want me to leave. I know that he wanted to offer his help as I redeem myself. I know I made a grave mistake as I greedily took the stupid bet from Orihara Izaya just to live a better life.

As the dusk's light passed through the windows to sting my eyes, the sight of his back as he covered the light for me has stopped my heart. That is when I realized that I felt attracted to him, that I love him. How could I not? He rescued me after all that I did to him! Yet, no matter how I look, this painful love cannot be reciprocated. It hurts so much that it's difficult to bear. He is my first love and probably my last ever.