(Durarara!! - Shizuo x Reader) Your Target-Savior

[Berserker's Arc] Chapter 28

[Shizuo's POV]

Ah, I couldn't hold back anymore. I had enough from (F/n) and myself. How come, it's only a year! I spent just more than a day with her when she came, and then I longed for her in a whole year. And now... I can't bear the thought of her leaving anymore!

I am not young, I admit that. I am crazily strong and I get provoked very easily. Because of that, I always get terminated from work. Everyone is afraid of me. There is no room for affection nor a lover. I have accepted that fate.

That must be it. I fell for (F/n) because she had the gut to piss me off. Furthermore, she had the gall to pretend as my girlfriend. No matter what hidden agenda she may have had, she is the only girl who could do something like that. Yet, abandoning what she's started... that is something I cannot forgive. What's worse is that I fell in love with her only to be left with a broken heart.

All along I thought (F/n) wouldn't like me, that it is just her mission. Attempting to save her from the crazy hag back then was halfhearted. Giving her my first kiss was urgent and that I never gave it a thought before. Had it not been those circumstances, I would want her lips on mine longer.

I wished that she would return to me one day, that things would be different. She may have returned to me, but she doesn't remember me at all, especially our last conversation. It frustrates me that I couldn't be kind to her. But I then realized that if she doesn't remember anything about our past, we could make a fresh new start. (F/n) never changed. She still had the confidence to challenge me to a fight. I tried to be a bit nicer to her. I thought that she might be on her guard too much because she thinks that I am a scary and difficult to approach person.

That was just yesterday. (F/n)'s reaction was so unexpected. She even asked me what she is to me. It is something that's very hard to explain. But (F/n) being awkward and fidgety around me must always mean one thing. (F/n) is the only girl who can fall for me and reciprocate the feelings I have for her for a long time. She just couldn't act like that to me before because she is scared. I know for sure that the (F/n) right now is someone that I can have for myself. I wished that she will never regain her memories. I wish that she would no longer be involved with flea bastard anymore.

That wish is something that won't possibly come true. Right after the festival, she encountered bastard flea. It boiled my blood. Bastard flea guessed right about my feelings for (F/n). What's more! He wanted to steal her away from me so that he can observe us for his moronic human research. Oh, wait... (F/n)'s not mine. I don't have the right to claim her. I don't have the right to do what I want with her if she doesn't want me to. I held myself back, my love for her, and my desire of her.

When the old lady and the little kid showed up, I was more surprised than afraid of their news and (F/n)'s reaction. I tried to stop (F/n) from embarking danger herself, but she didn't want to be stopped and I have respected that decision. Yet, I am afraid. I don't want her to leave me alone. That is why I chased her.

Seeing her berserk and get smeared on by people, treating her like a vicious monster, crumbled my heart. It hurt so much. I knew it! I should've never let her go! That is why I had the courage to confront her at her state. I don't care if I get my legs or my arms broken by (F/n). She's done so much by herself; gone through so much pains and dangers. Now, I wanted to do something for her, for the entire year I couldn't do anything for her.

The old lady is someone I knew responsible for (F/n)'s troubles. I hated her guts. Calling (F/n) with a fake name 'Leena' and pretending to be a caring mother for her is something I couldn't take! I wasn't able to hold myself back anymore! I got angry and shouted at her. I knew that (F/n) was hurt, but I knew that it would hurt her more if the old lady continued to fool her.