Chapter 21: Running Away

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E V A N N A

It's been an hour. I'm still in the room. I don't care anymore. I felt tired, but not tired, as in sleepy. I was exhausted, but exhausted with everything.

"Evanna, we're going out to swim. You don't want to come?" Rose asked, coming into my room.

I shook my head no. She nodded and left, but not before giving me a warm smile. I could hear shouts and laughs coming from the window.

"Don't splash me!"

"Jump!"

"It's freezing!"

"Let me down!"

Those shouts and laughs turned into whispers and laughter mocking me in my head.

Do you ever think about killing your self? It'll help everyone.

No one wants you here.

No one likes you.

You weren't supposed to be here. You're only here because you killed your mom. You're just a burden.

I'm just a burden.

Once again, I zoned out.

***

We were going to leave around lunch. I had everything packed from yesterday. I brought everything down the stairs, but I didn't realize the leg that was stretched out in front of me. I tripped, and I fell on my elbows and knees, my bag dropping onto the floor.

"Watch where you're going, bitch," Ethan said, and everyone erupted in laughter.

I got up, feeling pain in my arm and legs. I grabbed my bag, not caring about the pain or humiliation. I stuffed my bag in the trunk and went to the back seat. I sat on the right side, taking my earbuds and phone out. I started listening to music-the highest volume to calm me down. That's what I used to do. Listen to music. Not care about how loud it is. It just distracts me from everything.

Owen and Jayden came, Owen sitting in the middle. In the corner of my eye, I saw Jayden put on his headphones, making Owen pout. I looked away and stared out the window again.

All of the sudden, I felt my left earbud being pulled away. I snapped my head to my left, seeing Owen holding my earbuds. "What are you listening to?" He put the earphone on and quickly pulled it away. "What the fuck, why is it so loud?"

I snatched my earbud out of his hands and went back to listening to music. Once we reached home I went upstairs and locked my door. I placed down my bag and walked over to my desk. I stared at the picture of my mom. Her beautiful smile and the affection you could see in her eyes. She was so caring. I wasn't ready to move on yet. A tear fell down, stinging like acid. Then another. And another. It kept coming and I just wanted my mom to be here right next to me and hug me. I wanted her to tell me it was going to be alright. I missed her embrace. I missed her voice. I missed her love. I left her.

I wanted to go back. I wanted to go back home. Away from here. Away from everyone. It took 3 hours to get here. On an airplane. All I wanted to do was see my mom. See her grave. I felt so far away from her. I was scared I'd lose connection with her forever. The voices were true. I believed everything they said.

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