Smile To Me Again

I'm having a baby

Part 50

Alison

I haven't ran a test. But I already knew that I'm getting pregnant. I don't have an evolution test. I not quite sure if I am pregnant. I don't know how to tell Emily. I don't know if I'm ready to be a mother with her. I don't know how she'll react if I tell her that Brad got me pregnant. And so did Cally. I don't know how I will handle this. I don't if I could even handle this. What if Emily doesn't want to be with me anymore for being pregnant to another pair? I can't lose her. She's my everything and I can't bare to lose or let her go. I can't let her know about this. I can't let Emily know that I'm pregnant. I can't let her know that I'm having a baby. I don't want her to leave me. What if she doesn't love me after I tell her that I'm pregnant? I don't want more loss it's just too much.

"Ali?"

I turn my head to Emily,she wiped her nose and keep blinking. She looks at me concerned and worried. But I can't let her know about my baby. She might not want him or her.

"Are you okay? You seem a little scared."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Don't scare me,Ali. If anything's wrong,tell me. No secrets."

"No,I promise."

I hold her hand,and pull it near my arm.

"No secrets."

Emily nods and look back at the road. All around us there's only dirt and more dirt. Nothing else. I don't know where Emily taking us both,I dont even know where this road is heading. I grip Emily's arm tighter,and look at the window quickly as I felt a tear on my cheek. I try not to whimper or anything,I just sit quietly while my eyes keeps gathering tears. I took a deep breath,and took a glasses that was in the truck. It was black shades,perfect to hide my puffy eyes.

"Hey Ali."

"Yeah?"

"I-woah nice shades. Where'd you get it?"

"I found it beside my foot. It must've fell."

"Oh. You look cool with them."

I nod and smile a little.

"Anyways,we might have to stay at motel nearby for someday. And..If you're ready to go back to Rosewood,tell me."

I nod. And look back to the window. I sigh,but snap. That made Emily even more worried. Emily sighed and pulled her hand away from mine.

"Okay are you mad at me?(*sighs)"

"What? No,I'm not mad...just..a little.."

"What?"

"Just having a hard time deciding."

"On what? Deciding on telling me something i don't know or what?"

I look at her,and thought for a moment.

"Its not something you don't know,it's something you don't wanna know. I'm just..scared that I might lose you."

Emily looks at me,then the road,then to me. She focused only the road,and stopped asking me questions. She never said anything anymore. We were both just quiet. Great now I got this a million times worse.

I bite my lip in worry,and touch my chin with my fingers. I don't know what to do. I lifted the both of my leg and opened my shoe,and put my feet on the cushion. I wrapped my arms around my leg and laid my head on my knees,looking away from Emily. Just staring at the sky. At the sun.